With an audible 'click', something unlocked, and the carving's visage - my own face! - split open horizontally. By now I had no idea what was going on, my body was acting before consulting my brain, and so without even thinking about it I grabbed my wooden replica by its nostrils and pulled open the upper half of the face, revealing a small compartment beneath.

Inside was a a large sheet of paper folded in half, still dry despite the statue's stay at sea. I opened it up, and straining to read by the stars' faint light, I realised that this was...

... a map!
... a letter!
... a drawing!
... a math exam!
... something else!