It doesn't.

Loss is loss, whether you are busy or not. I can wish Laurel was still here to spend my retirement years with me. But she isn't. And she won't. Those are the irrefutable facts.

So suck it up, Mook. I still have family and friends who love me. I still have this message board, which in its two iterations has been such a big part of my life.

As I told my brother, the silver lining to the cloud of retiring alone is if I want to go take a nap, there's no one to say, "oh no you don't! You have too many things to do!"

It's a small silver lining, but we take what we can.

I will be getting lunch with my daughter in an hour or so and we will raise a glass of champagne, Laurel's favorite, in her memory. Maybe more than one. We do this every year on this day and it's a big comfort.

I will always love you and miss you, Pookie. But life goes on, and so do I.