00:18 - So how will Amalisa’s channeling matter in this episode? Clearly it will, since it’s in the recap.

01:20 - “3000 years ago” We’re cutting to LTT now? Never mind it was a great way to kick off the series, no, we have to have it with 7/8 of the season gone, because of the inane secret-keeping.

01:30 - Oh, we’re not doing the prologue, we’re doing the Fateful Concord! And they’re speaking in Latin the Old Tongue on screen. That’s just dumb. The Old Tongue isn’t a viable language, it is there to sound cool and old-fashioned, to add significance to words and terminology. The one time this show has tried, with Nynaeve’s precisely memorized prayer, it was gibberish. I might go back and attempt to translate the dialogue for my own curiosity, but it seems too much like work that will just get me pissed off.

1:40 - Who is right in his conflict? I can’t tell! One the one hand, Latra Posae is white, and Lews Therin is black. But she's a woman and he isn't. Recall if you will (sorry about the pain), Moiraine’s commentary at the outset of the series was highly critical of Barack Hussein Lews Therin Telamon, so it’s a pretty good guess.

01:40 - And she has a baby.

02:13 - Ah, the White Girl Feminist is the one the narrative is backing. Because they have her precisely predicting the danger of Barack Therin’s strategy, when in the books, her predictions were different and further, as it says, “no one could have predicted the Dark One’s counterstroke” (emphasis mine). Also, I am getting a very much domestic dispute vibe from this argument. And that baby bearing a stronger resemblance to BTT than LPD suggests he is having a professional argument with a political rival in his child’s nursery or LPD used the One Power to conceive a child with her life-partner-of-color.

02:41 - Who even says stuff like this? The fate of the world is only being decided in a nursery, because the writers made the asinine decision to set this argument there and script it laden with hindsight!

02:58 - Ugh, we have an anachronistic super-woman-who-does-it-all depiction.

03:07 He’s the Dragon, not the Dragon Reborn! The Dragon is not the title of the guy who fights the Dark One, it was a specific title given to LTT, just like the Forsaken names. That’s a thing they did in the Age of Legends, recognize important people with names. When you have overcome resource scarcity, and govern justly and equitably through merit as any utopia would, formal recognition of your service or infamy is about the only reward that can be given out.

The point of Rand being the Dragon Reborn in not that he is the Dark One’s eternal adversary, but that he is Lews Therin, specifically. The guy whose actions led to the breaking of the world, who killed his wife and family and led his followers to death and madness! The point is all that baggage, of that particular man landing on Rand’s shoulders! Calling Barack Therin the Dragon Reborn strips the title of its damning implications and the fear that Rand is doomed to do what made LTT infamous.

03:15 - What flame is she watching? The Flame of Tar Valon, whose eponymous city has not yet been geologically formed, let alone founded, named or built? That’s clearly a Third Age title, when they would have been thinking about all they have lost and seen themselves as a group maintaining the fire of the Power, the Aes Sedai, civilization, humanity, whatever, so it does not go out. They were not separate in the AoL, they were one, so the Flame was only half the symbol.

And yes, WoT Novices would not know this, I am aware. My point is, the show writers don’t understand the meaning of stuff from the books. They’re not remotely attempting to tell a variant of the same story, just strip-mining it for names and ideas to bolt patchwork fashion onto the hideous visage of their own fantasy creation.

03:25 - Is that Dr. Strange’s ter’angreal for Traveling on several of Barak Therin’s fingers?

03:33 - Don’t you see? It’s powerfully ironic because what he’s about to do will actually cause him to kill the baby! Professional writing is a great art!

Why was that argument between Barack Therin and LPD a better piece of background than the lead-in to to a best-selling novel? And if you’re going to set your first ever Age of Legends scene in the Therin family nursery, why do you need to erase Ilyena?

05:23 - This looks more like they are going to find Sleeping Beauty’s castle.

05:52 - We are in the middle of a global pandemic, when people’s ideas of necessary measures against infection have taken a radical turn. Two idiots lurching through a thicket with their faces exposed, hair unbound and utterly failing to avoid crashing through the branches and underbrush does not remotely convey the danger of the Blight.
Edit from the future: They built this set after the pandemic shut them down, so it's not like were filming this before the world became obsessed with sanitizer and N95.
“Touch nothing” is something you tell people before entering the place where they should not touch things, not when you are deep enough in that you can’t see the place you came from.

Also, Moiraine makes it sound like the Blight is just some place only stupid adventurers go for kicks, rather than the terrain of an enemy with whom the Borderlands are fighting an unceasing war, where there are very good reasons for men and armies to go into the Blight. How else would Lan come to know it as other children know their mothers’ garden?

06:09 - Unnecessary negging of Rand, who is doing this because YOU told him he had to and has given no indication he is unaware that he is in over his head.

06:18 - Ever notice TV characters don’t come into a room like normal people? Normal people linger at the door, or approach the person they are there to see. TV characters stride right it, but they hang near the back, circling the foreground occupant as if getting into position of a game of catch or a duel.

06:53 - Nosewart and tear.

07:10 - Egwene is sad. Perrin thinks it’s dangerous to pursue Rand & Moiraine. Why did we need to be shown this? What was the point of that scene? Has there been too much white skin on screen to this point?

08:03 - They are sitting on mossy rocks, leaning against Blight-Trees. This Blight is lame.

08:28 - You can barely hold Lan back from the Blight under the best of circumstances. With Moiraine and the Dragon Reborn plunging into it alone, he would be after them if the whole army of Shienar was in his way. He would not be gazing wistfully from the inexplicably exposed balcony out in the general direction of the Blight.

Also, how does this room make any sense for one of the northern-most cities in the world? Balconies that are only closed off from the interior by screens? This kind of thing is seen in Ebou Dar and Tear and is the sort of thing Berelain wanted Perrin to make for her bedroom in Mayene. It is NOT what you find in the extreme north, where trees explode because their sap freezes!
Edit from the future: Actually, there appears to be glass inside the screens.

09:20 - I could almost accept even one might would overlook a characteristic track made by their long-time partner, if they only ever needed their magic mindlink to find them. But if you are good at something, and do it all the time, and sometimes your life depends on it, you notice pertinent details by reflex! There is no way any real tracker would miss a tendency of his companion of 20 years to leave a particular track! Even if Lan has never had to track Moiraine, there must have been times when he was trying to cover their backtrail! That’s the point of his surprise when Nynaeve admits to tracking them to Baerlon, because he was actively taking measures to prevent that from happening! For the WHOLE group, because no one is stupid enough to cover their own trail and forget that of the person traveling with them!

And Lan does not let details like that pass, anyway. That’s why he’s so good, not because he has put so many skill points into his sword ability, but because he is diligent, observant and thorough.

The worst part of it is, I think the writers believe they are “fixing” Lan, by saying “actually, no one is good enough to track him, not even Nynaeve.”

10:00 - The context of Lan’s comments about Nynaeve’s future husband was because he has already stated the reasons why it is impossible for that to be him. There is absolutely nothing established on the show why this should be the case.

BTW, Lan more or less ended the discussion with the love him/hate him bit, after she gave the line about Wisdoms and wedding and going to Tar Valon, which came after his string of compliments. They literally did the conversation backwards.

11:20 - And now Ishamael is just some goober. The actual thing they didn’t reveal for three books, even if the pieces are there for alert readers to pick up, that Ba’alzamon who comes to them in their dreams and fights Rand three times, is not the Dark One, but a mortal man, has just been tossed out the window by his very ordinary appearance and voice and getting rid of the expensive “distracting” flame effects. This guy is as menacing as an Uber driver.

12:04 - Lews Therin ITB had a Hundred Companions! That was their FUCKING NAME! If he was one of the hundred, to whom were they companions? The name comes from them being a young, rash, upstart faction that developed a strong loyalty to Lews Therin personally, rather than the office of the supreme commander. He was the respected leader with an established and illustrious career and they were his loyal following, not his partners. And also, ITB, the name was figurative, and he took more than 100 Aes Sedai to Shayol Ghul with him. WoTNovices would not know about the Hundred Companions, and readers who cared would have read “The Strike at Shayol Ghul” and know better.

12:42 - These sorts of personal details were far beneath Ba’alzamon’s awareness.

13:25 - Why would Rand wake up rubbing at his wrists, instead of the abdominal wound he just gave himself?

13:30 - We’re just supposed to take Rand’s word that the convenience store clerk from his dream is the Dark One? Why does Rand think this? Why are we supposed to trust his opinion?

14:16 - Moiraine is describing the singular creation of the Eye of the World, but applied to a sa’angreal that will merely increase Rand’s power “a hundredfold.” I’m not one of the One Power experts in the fan community, but I would have figured a sa’angreal, especially one that required thousands of male channelers (BTW, they had a name; it was Aes Sedai) to make, would have a more impressive payoff.

14:35 - A. Moiraine give no indication of how Rand is supposed to channel in the first place, let alone with the sa’angreal, and B. She’s basically demanding Rand single-handedly seal up the Dark One just like that, as if Tarmon Gaidon is not a thing. Now this is not too far off from a typical Book Moiraine plan, but I don’t think the writers (nor, to be fair to Rafe et al, many fans) are aware that she is an ignorant tool in just as far over her head as the rest of the gang, and her plans, especially where Rand and metaphysical stuff like channeling and prophecies are concerned, suck Trolloc balls.

15:09 - The writers immediately try to ameliorate the exposure of Moiraine’s error in believing Egwene was the Dragon by having Rand admit he did too, but they don’t seem to realize they are effectively saying Moiraine’s judgment is no better than a love-struck backwoods farmboy’s. There is no real suggestion that the narrative places them on the same level. The signals sent by the show so far is that she is great and awesome and brilliant and where she falls short, she is still miles ahead of the Emond’s Fielders, or at leas the male ones.

15:21 - So we’re just writing out Nynaeve’s weather/conflict sense, which is a thing into the late series.

15:55 - Ah, they’re doing it in favor of playing up Egwene’s powers. It must be killing them that they realized they had to give the Dragon title to its canonical holder, Rand.

16:45 - We can’t possibly retain that horrific notion that the two halves of the Power are so different that a man can’t learn from a woman or vice versa!

No, Moiraine is refusing to teach Rand, because he has a limited number of channeling attempts before going mad. That, for the record, was never brought up in the books. Rand was the one reluctant to attempt to channel out of fear of the madness, while Aes Sedai were generally encouraging him to do so, in order to learn. As is later seen, the madness happens at random. You can go for years without being afflicted or it can strike the day you are tested.

16:46 - Adrenaline was first made in 1897, and the adrenal glands only became common knowledge in the 17th century. WoT, having Healing as an option for extreme medical cases, is considerably behind the real world on surgery, medical scholarship and publication or nomenclature. If Moiraine knows what the adrenaline is and what it does, Rand would certainly not.

17:07 - Those oh-so-deadly Blight trees, once again serving as a chair-back.

17:50 - ITB, no Aes Sedai would ever take this approach! They scorn the idea of channeling in distress or by instinct, as wilders do! They do everything they can to teach students to channel with a cool head and calm emotions. This is just writing for plot convenience, because they were too busy writing about Warder mourning and White Tower funeral customs to establish channeling lessons.

18:25 - That’s not a comeback! They have already asked what Min told their companions, so it’s clear their purpose “in the bar” is other than procuring alcohol! But TV shows love to have this sort of random statement come out of the mouth of a character they want to show as witty.

19:01 - Don’t think I don’t know that Loial is inexplicably sitting on furniture that is canonically too small for him, solely to hide how much bigger than a couple of women he isn’t.

19:14 - What direction are they even travelling, that they can glance off to their right and see the gap they passed through at the outset of their journey?

19:22 - Ah. We were supposed to see an army in that shot.

19:36 - Is it really easier to spot the Fades among an army of Trollocs than simply estimate their numbers using your own eyeballs and methods used to estimate the size of other armies?

19:43 - Uno still just sounds silly being the only one to use WoT curses, especially when everyone else uses real world curses.

19:56 - You know that drawbridges, especially in large fortresses holding vital strategic positions, that have been part of a militarized nation for a thousand years, generally have chains to raise and lower them? And they also have guards, 24/7 for exactly these sorts of reasons? Also, any ropes strong enough to raise and lower a drawbridge would be like cables that you’d need a team of strong men or hours of uninterrupted time, or a chainsaw, to cut.

20:21 - The higher ranking person does not salute first.

20:36 - Amalisa, he didn’t listen the first time. Also, Trollocs. Fighting them is the only option, regardless of whether or not you can win. No one needed to be told Agelmar & his men were riding out for a doomed fight ITB, they knew it, but it had to be done. The writers are either entirely ignorant of this point, or they are undermining Amalisa by having her make stupid comments.

20:57 - Eye of the World, by MC Escher.

21:56 - What does Lan looking at the Seven Towers mean to anyone who has not read the books, aside from the fact that he is, indeed, on Moiraine’s and Rand’s trail? Based on the prior seven episodes, the best way to make this scene meaningful would be to establish that Stepin the Tragic Warder came from Malkier.

22:05 - It was sufficient for the books that Agelmar was a human being riding to certain death. As far as his father is concerned, he could have sprung full-grown from Zeus’ forehead. You do not need to mention people’s fathers to make them worthy of concern, nor does mentioning them automatically make them so.

22:22 - So the point is that Amalisa thinks Agelmar should wear his ancestral armor, for some reason? Why would his own personal armor be insufficient protection? Even more absurd is that the show thus far has suggested she is the reasonable one, while he’s a blowhard who doesn’t listen to anybody.

23:00 - Why did they not ask the Tower for help? It’s kind of a self-evident solution! Trollocs are clearly not just a local problem ITB, although Fal Dara is so weak that a mere thousand Trollocs seemed like an overwhelming force certain to defeat Agelmar’s father. Despite Trollocs being so far depicted as undisciplined infantry, and it appears that there is some sort of fortification in the Gap, so a few hundred men should be able to hold off a thousand Trollocs for years.

23:35 - So what’s your point, Agelmar? Everything is futile because Tarmon Gaidon is coming?

23:55 - Um, you want to be careful about saying your messengers will “fly” with “the Light’s speed”, especially when you have an accent, so it sounds like “light speed” because that means something else to genre fiction fans. And when you’re watching fantasy, assuming literal flight is not a stupid thought.

24:49 - “Hey, since we’re such rabid Moiraine fan-boys, why don’t we have her be completely ignorant of what the Eye of the World is?”
“Brilliant, Rafe!”

24:53 - Is there some reason why should trust the competence of an organization that lets their libraries get purged of every record of the existence of a place where you think it’s essential the Dragon Reborn face the Dark One? I suppose no one had read those records or felt the impulse to write down again what they said, so future generations would remember? Or is the Darkfriends-purging-the-library situation a thing that keeps happening?

25:39 - I can see the point of the Aes Sedai needing gestures in this fallen Age, but why would Barack Therin need to?

25:46 - Seriously, why does Rand think that’s the Dark One? ITB, he introduces himself using a name believed to be the Dark One’s.

25:55 - I hope that’s not the literal seal on the Dark One’s prison Rand is standing on.

27:04 - This was Egwene’s test scenario ITB and only one of three in her test to merely advance in her training. In other words, even horrible hiscet sexist transphobe RJ didn’t think a fantasy of a marriage and baby was all that important or tempting of a scenario, next to the high stakes conflicts in which they are involved.

27:25 - If this scene ever comes up in a BTS featurette, I know they are going to be pointing out the bridal ribbons in Egwene’s braid. Except you wear those for like, a month, and their kid is old enough to walk. Why not, instead of buying an actual kid that can’t possibly serve any purpose in the scene, spend the money on your CGI, so Ba’alzamon could have had a whole conversation in the fire-face mode? Before my nephew’s baptism, I literally walked the length of the church carrying his blanket folded in such a way that actual human beings who had borne children themselves believed there was a baby in my arms. You could have faked this. It’s probably Rafe’s sister’s kid whom he thinks will utterly enthrall the audience who then be rooting for Rand to accept the scenario.

And that kid’s legs don’t look big enough to walk, and walking is not a trick babies only perform for certain people, it’s a thing they do because they want to move somewhere and reach things they can’t from the ground.

27:49 - I’m actually glad he bitch-slapped Moiraine, so we didn’t get her staring down Ba’alzamon “the Dark One”.

28:10 - Did he actually still her, or just shield her? If the former, why does the show do this to their fore-fronted character? I feel like her inevitable restoration will cheapen the moment when Nynaeve actually accomplishes it. And it should be noted that Siuan is in no way responsible for this, if it was Moiraine’s downfall. And how much worse could her actual downfall be, unless they are diminishing the significance of stilling?
Edit from the future: Per a featurette, it’s because Moiraine is not doing much in The Great Hunt. So either they figured this would be a fun new arc for next year, or they believe it’s not plausible that a fully armed and operational Moiraine could be sidelined as she was ITB.

28:36 - Why are they charging so far from the wall, let alone before actually being on the same field as the enemy? And why is Agelmar bare-headed? If you are only going to wear one piece of armor, wear a helmet. It’s literally the most important body part and also there’s image issues and whatnot that a well-decorated helmet can help with. It’s also the only kind of armor used up until the invention of Kevlar.

28:45 - Why were they charging up to and through the wall? They should be formed up at the gates before they are opened to let them charge through en masse. Even if you don’t understand military issues (and from Rafe’s appearance and deportment in the featurettes and interviews, I am morally certain he does not), you could ask yourself, “Maybe LotR did it that way at Helm’s Deep for a reason?”

28:50 - Either the refugees are leaving the city and heading in the direction of the Blight, or that giant crossbow is pointing in the wrong direction.

Also I can’t help but notice that this is the only bridge we’ve seen in Fal Dara and it’s not remotely a drawbridge. That’s a solid, what-were-you-thinking-Turin-type bridge.

28:57 - Tumblr-feminist pandering bullshit. Of all the lessons to take from The Two Towers, Rafe has acceded to his friendzone-girlfriends’ complaints that they armed the teen boys and sent the women into the caves. So what exactly are the women and children fighting for? The buildings? Why are those important? Why don’t they get a choice? Amalisa’s statement is framed as an order.

29:02 - Amalisa is wearing daddy’s armor, because she’s the True Leader of Fal Dara and it’s sexism and patriarchy that Agelmar is the lord. Is that also Daddy’s lipstick?

29:12 - Okay, why is it not standing policy to have torches lit to reduce Fade hiding places, as is the case ITB? Because men are dumb-dumbs and only a woman is clever enough to think up this elementary precaution?

29:21 - If channeling women are known and running around free, should not a census or register have been kept for just such emergencies?

29:33 - Min looks slightly better with her hair down (as well as slightly more masculine than Rafe Judkins). And I can’t decide if her fleeing is her canonical common sense or against her propensity for being in way over her head but somehow finding a way to contribute anyhow.

29:58 - Don’t tell me they have some sort of Terminus Decree/self-destruct ter’angreal under the throne.

30:04 - Why do Rand and Moiraine have the only coats in the city?

30:26 - What did Nynaeve’s statement have to do with Loial’s announcement?

30:35 - If Agelmar and friends are going to be using crossbows in the fort, why were they charging dramatically on horseback to enter the fort?

30:39 - Why would the term for pulling a release lever on a crossbow be “fire”? What does “fire” have to do with crossbows? Especially if, unusually for the screen, they are not loaded with flaming bolts?

30:51 - You don’t say burial prayers for Shadowspawn! It’s phrase to honor the dead, not a curse at your enemies!

31:18 - Every word out of Agelmar’s mouth aside, this is not the worst battle scene. The rate of “fire” is suspiciously high, though.

31:30 - That’s every woman in the city who can channel? I suppose that’s more like the response they’d get from such a call ITB, but the way they were talking it’s not an uncommon thing, and there should be more channelers in the city than were in Moiraine’s party. Also, why is Amalisa standing in a position that is off to one side of a three-woman formation, but dead center in a five-woman formation, assuming the other two approach from the right (as they do)? It’s like she read the script or something, and knew she’d be leading a group of five, assuming she isn’t bowled over by Egwene’s specialness and offer her command.

31:35 - No, you shouldn’t be surprised and from your positioning, you were expecting them.

31:36 - Oh, shut up, Nynaeve. No one cares.

31:49 - I can’t help but notice three of the five female channelers are foreigners of the sort being sent away. Assuming the show knows what a ki’sain is.

31:51 - No one’s making you sit there, Perrin.

31:56 - Bullshit is now a canonical curse. That bloody goat-kissing Uno with his burned swears!

32:00 - Uh, since when was the Way of the Leaf anything anyone in Fal Dara cared about but Perrin? And he spent his whole time with the Tinkers mocking it or making aha! statements to its adherents. Why are we supposed to believe this is important or an actual conflict for Perrin, just because he mentioned it once to his friends, in a context suggesting the Tinkers’ diet was a more significant interest in that conversation?

32:23 - Loial does not cite his experience, because he’s a kid, and this conversation serves no purpose other than to make Perrin look stupid. He’s a professional craftsman and laborer, and a person who sees details others miss. He’d have already found ways to make himself useful ITB. Or maybe this is the wolf-stuff coming out, because wolves get frustrated sitting around.

33:35 - Why would they be running away from home in the direction of the Waterwood? It’s off to the east, while Rand lives to the west of the village, and the only road away from the Two Rivers runs straight north, practically from Egwene’s front door. Unless it’s the only interior geographical feature of the Two Rivers the writers could remember… Also, why is there a waterwood in the mountains where the Two Rivers are located? The context suggests a low-altitude forest on a high water table, which you don’t find in the mountains.

34:13 - In a setting where they believe in resurrection as a known fact, the way we believe in evolution or astrophysics, a reference to “this life and the next” is really dumb. How much of your current actions or attention is based on fulfilling such promises or statements you made in your last life? None, because you don’t remember, so why would you say you would in the next? Russell Crow can say that in Gladiator because as far as he knows, he will get the chance to throttle Commodus in Hades or Elysium. But Egwene & Rand know they don’t remember previous lives, so their carved declaration is rather fatuous.

35:52 - That is Rand’s ultimate temptation? Weak. ITB it was the present prospect of his mother and friends being tormented by Ba’alzamon dangled before Rand.

36:17 - They are doing heavy manual labor, your buddy is a giant and you are canonically one of the strongest men in the Fal Dara garrison, Perrin. What do you think you can do to help?

36:26 - Whatever the show might be trying to say about Amalisa’s intelligence or sense, especially compared to her brother, she is a moron when it comes to military tactics. He, at least, understands the point of committing all available forces at the decisive point. Going to the fort in the Gap now, before it’s overwhelmed, will prolong the lives of the soldiers, and increase the damage they do to the Trollocs. The faster you kill Trollocs with the Power, the less harm they can inflict on the fort and men, and the longer it will take those to fall, and thus a longer period during which Trollocs are getting shot with bolts. This principle is obvious to a novice player of Warcraft.

36:32 - “Light help you, brother” …since she apparently has no interest in doing so. It’s now dark. There has been plenty of time to ride to the Gap fort. Also, if there is absolutely nothing between Fal Dara and the Gap, why has that ground not been covered with fortifications in depth in the thousand years House Jagad has been defending it?

37:28 - Even a slit throat cannot distract from the nosewart.

37:29 - Are those married-lady earrings? Was the rosary chaplet/buzzsaw blade just for a single girl?

38:12 - Do you want a falafel while you guys wait, Moiraine? I’m sure he could accommodate…

38:26 - Guys, guys! It’s the line! He said the line. That, like maybe a handful of people know, and absolutely none of them will be impressed, given the butchery of every other bit of book material thus far.

38:29 - Oh yay, Fain. I wonder why he’s here. He’s gonna fight Perrin for what reason, exactly? Or is he Perrin’s archnemesis because he killed Perrin’s parents in the books, despite Perrin never learning of it in RJ’s lifetime?

38:31 - If you don’t know or trust the guy out there, why did you open the door? Either the code phrase means he is trustworthy or you should not open the door. But they see a black dude and they reach for weapons like a soccer mom goes for the door lock while stopped at a light on Martin Luther King Boulevard.

38:36 - Badass ladies FTW.

38:44 - So much for all that effort to light fires and keep the Fades from hiding. Looks like hiding is not a thing Fades need to do against the ladies of Fal Dara, even women judged competent to guard a high security door with password-only access.

38:51 - Are you bloody ashing me?

39:05 - “Without it, they won’t stand a chance,” sounds like they are aware who the Dragon is, where he is, and whom he is with. But they were not going to procure the object without which he will not 'stand a chance', until Fal Dara is about to fall.

39:16 - Nynaeve, how could you possibly have come to that estimate without counting Fades?

Also, are we to infer that Agelmar would still be holding them off if he was wearing his father's armor as Amalisa urged?

39:25 - The last time Egwene opened herself to someone, she got pregnant in an alternate reality test. ^rim shot^

39:29 - “Accept it. Let me in,” is what Rand said.

40:15 - That horn makes you think of the Horn of Valere, which was just mentioned a minute and a half ago. Also, these are not great CGI Trollocs.

40:25 - He was sitting there and only got up when Perrin looked at him? Why? Why either thing?

40:32 - Answer Uno, Perrin! I hate when TV characters don’t say things people would keep asking about, because they are leaving the audience in suspense.

40:35 - Why do they hate Madeline Martin so much to make her stand in that pose this whole scene?

41:00 - Is he teaching Rand to use the Power, or the Dark Side of the Force?

41:21 - If men who channel go mad, then saidin and saidar and the differences between them, have to be a thing! So why is Yusef “The Dark One” telling Rand not to fight the One Power? Even if the mention of the fight/surrender contrast does give you menstrual cramps, it’s an important character issue that Rand has to fight the Power.

This is merely what TV writers have villains say when tempting the hero, so we’re not going to think twice about our word choices.

41:42 - Kill him or don’t Moiraine. Making him bleed from the neck is just pointless, however cinematic, and from the PoV of writers who stan Badass Moiraine! all you’re doing is making her look like a weak woman who can’t control her blade.

42:13 - ITB, the chest required an Ogier to carry alone. That’s gonna be one tiny horn. More like the Kazoo of Valere.

42:16 - “Was that the sound of enemies drawing near?”
“Yes. And since we are screen characters whose actions are plotted by hacks, at a dramatic moment near the climax, that can only mean one thing!”
“You mean we must put down the vital object that has been the focus of our attention for a couple scenes now, and go looking for the enemy?”
“Correct! Bring on the Emmys!”

43:00 - I have played flash player browser games where you use lightning on side-scrolling approaching enemies that looked better than this shot.

43:14 - Everyone without a nosewart looks sick and like they’re being drained, while Egwene looks like my sex jokes were less inappropriate than I would have thought.

43:25 - Don’t puke in the cradle, Rand (even if a real parent of a one-year-old would figure they were due some payback).

43:35 - Fistful of glowing light is the universal sign that a channeler does NOT intend to remake the world in his image, apparently.

43:50 - The climax of the first part of The Wheel of Time is Rand learning to be a supportive feminist husband and ally!

44:06 - It’s officially canon: good spouse and loving mother Egwene is so implausible that Rand cannot accept as possible even the most tempting alternate reality where she chooses not to ditch loved ones for the Tower.

For the record, because people are complex, this very scenario, the only canon reference to Rand and Egwene having a daughter called Joyia, was, in fact, something that tempted Egwene as much as the thought of defeating Aginor tempted Nynaeve! Yes, she is ambitious, yes, she wants to be an Aes Sedai, but the point in the test was, she’s not an ambition-and-power-seeking robot, this sort of happy quiet life does hold some appeal for her. But Rand’s crowning moment of awesome to date is saying “Nope, no way. Not my Egwene.”

And considering that his epiphany during the Last Battle is that Egwene would be demanding her own chance to be a hero and have a part in the fight, that’s going to be kind of old news by the time the show gets there. Is this going to be a whole series of him learning the lesson he has just demonstrated he knows?

44:13 - Also, in a scene with a central point being a woman’s agency, why are you making the woman in question stand posed with a vapid smile on her face, as an object for the men to argue about?

44:24 - Hakim “The Dark One” is apparently just going to stand there and do nothing while Rand acts against him.

44:42 - If Moiraine cannot infer that Rand “did it” from the sight of him holding out a hand and Ibrahim “The Dark One” vanishing, “I did it” is not going to answer her question.

45:02 - Perrin’s improved senses have been alluded to. So why did he not know the bat was there, and why is he reacting like a ten-year-old girl?

45:07 - If not for the caption, I would never have known “Luuhh!” was supposed to be Perrin shouting “Loial!”

45:13 - Perrin thinks Fain was suspicious enough to investigate, but not to go armed. If it was not important enough to take a weapon, then helping dig up the Horn is probably a better use of his time.

45:35 - I’m getting nothing but a girl-power vibe from this whole plotline, but Amalisa is literally the worst. She just murdered one woman and might a second, given Min’s viewing of Nynaeve, because of her channeling incompetence.

45:58 - Channeling euphoria should have been established long before it kills a channeler who can’t bring herself to let go of the Power. I mean, I realize this scene would not have been as meaningful without Stepin’s tragedy, or the story of Dana the Dumpy Darkfriend, but you think they could have found some time to lay out the basics of the fantasy element in your fantasy series, that exists, because Amazon wanted the next big fantasy property.

46:11 - And you can channel while in a link, but Nynaeve doesn’t try to do anything to stop Amalisa.

46:23 - This does not make the time spent on the female initiation ritual better, nor was that necessary to give weight and meaning to Nynaeve’s actions here, whose last line before coming out to join the channeling party was an assertion that she came to protect the Two Rivers kids. That’s exactly why she placed her braid in a Trolloc’s hand and rode it off into the wilderness!

46:37 - Buh-bye, Amalisa. No one will miss you. Your brother was a better character, even this pathetic version.
Edit from the future: They are VERY excited about her makeup for this one shot, in a featurette.

46:58 - No, the arrival of spring is a good time for a peddler to go into a mountain community, which will need his merchandise after a long winter of being snowed in. This is not a scenario about which one says “Do you think it a coincidence,” because that’s not a coincidence, it’s a legitimate reason to show up there on purpose.

47:06 - If selling lanterns is dumb, it’s because the show changed that datum. Fain brought all sorts of necessities the Two Rivers people could not procure themselves, like books, and pins and fireworks. According to Rand’s alt-scenario a few minutes ago, you can make the lanterns by hand, anyway.

47:34 - Does anyone seriously believe Nynaeve is dead?

47:58 - Seriously, this nonsense about evil being necessary for balance is pathetic. Do they honestly think this makes the story better, that some of the characters have to turn evil to maintain some sort of mystic order? Why? What point does this serve, other than the convenience and intellectual shortcomings of the writers?

48:22 - Why is this a question at the end of the season finale, when ITB, it was the very first thing said about men who can channel? And that was after a prologue where we saw the results of that madness!

49:18 - Why would Perrin think anyone was defeated? He’s been in this room or wandering deserted corridors since Egwene and Nynaeve went out to help Amalisa.

49:47 - “Hey, what’s the most important detail to get right about the Myrddraal?”
“The way they pass for human from the nose down?”
“No, how about their creepy inhuman movements?”
“That’s stupid. What about their horrible-sounding voices?”
“Not that either.”
“The way their cloaks don’t move?”
“Clearly not.. Look, the answer is obvious! Their sandworms mouths!”
“…what?”
“I mean, it’s not in the text, but it’s pretty clear Jordan is not nearly as smart as we are. It’s what he would have done with them if he had read Dune.”
“I kind of think the hero becoming the prophesied messiah of an army of superb warriors from a desert community with blue eyes, fathering magic twins and having concurrent relationships with a princess trained by the female-only organization with special abilities and a desert warrior turned witch doctor with similar abilities, and being the first man in a long time to wield those same abilities, kind of means RJ did, in fact, read Dune.”
“You’re high on the One Power and mélange combined, if you think half that stuff is going to make it onto the show.”

50:00 - Moiraine like pretty rock.

50:05 - It took Rand and Moiraine about 11:17 to get down into the Eye from the time they left the Seven Towers. It took Lan 28:09 to make it from the Seven Towers to the Eye. Lan’s tracking ability is another casualty of adaptation.

And yes, I know we’re not watching this in real time. It’s just pretty damn clear that Lan shows up at this moment because it’s narratively convenient, not because of any real concern by the writers for distance and time lapses.

50:17 - What was so hard about that, Moiraine?

50:26 - If her bond is still masked, that should have been Lan’s first concern. If nothing else, to make sure she’s not a trick or illusion of some kind.

50:42 - ITB, Moiraine always had some doubts about Malik “The Dark One” being what Rand claimed, for the ease of his defeat, if nothing else.

More importantly, if she can’t channel, she can lie just fine! You could have had a gasp moment for the readers by having Moiraine flat out say “Achmed’The Dark One’ blew him to smithereens,” or some other blatantly false statement.

51:22 - She found a last reserve of strength in her nosewart.

51:38 - And Egwene can Heal now, because why not. We’ve done everything else we can to gut Nynaeve’s character, lets also give her special ability to Egwene while we’re at it.

52:26 - No, Lan! Pretty rock is all she has left!

52:35 - You have to be watching for it to realize that piece of cuendillar came from the floor, which it seems, means that floor IS a seal.

53:11 - I know WoT geography better than Rafe Judkins knows the glory hole bathrooms at Dragoncon, and there is no place called “The Far Western Shore.” You could convey this is the far western shore by showing the sun setting over the water.

I guess we’re setting up the Seanchan arrival. That would even be a cool thing to show happening as night falls, so as to have that sunset I just suggested.

53:40 - How’d that kid get down those cliffs?

53:56 - By the way, seeing the ribbed sails might actually mean something if they hadn’t made absolutely everything else in the series so far, look partially transplanted from medieval Asia. Are we supposed to be impressed by the remote and exotic appearance of these sails and the discordant Asian music after spending the last two episodes in the house of Agelmar, the Mandarin of Fal Dara?

54:04 - And just as with the Children of the Light, we’re going to ignore the complexity and depth of the Seanchan and jump right into them being evil for failing to appreciate how awesome it is that the people who channel have ovaries, and having rather valid concerns about how human beings with that level of power once rearranged the continents and knocked an advanced utopia back to the stone age.

You can tell this is where the show is going because the Seanchan ships are covered in big crude spikes like the Orc stuff in Warcraft.

54:16 - The damane are gagged! Because feminism! Silencing women is a way better symbol of gendered oppression! Except of course, the damane are not oppressed for their gender, but because of the One Power. They are oppressed by a society that has had only women in the supreme position of power for 900 years, directly controlled by women with honored positions in society, which is run by a gender neutral aristocracy, bureaucracy and military officer corps.

So what’s Old Tongue for “gagged ones”?

54:21 - What on earth is the purpose of that spikey spiral thingy?

Also, why, if they are standing behind their charges, and out of their line of sight, do the Gag-Holders make arm motions to command their channeling?

54:36 - What is the purpose of announcing their arrival on the lands where they are hoping for, if not expecting, recognition as the heirs of Artur Hawkwing, the rightful rulers of said lands, with a giant tidal wave on a mostly-empty beach?

The thing that makes the Seanchan truly dangerous is their dedication to responsible government and rule, that they make things better when they come, so there are fewer reasons to resist and they assimilate their conquests quickly. They don’t show up causing massive destruction where no visible witnesses can be intimidated, unless you count the little girl who’s about to die, or else trashing their new lands without giving the people chance to kneel to them. They are officially, at least, hoping the Do Miere Avron remember them and will recognize the Seanchan for who they are.

But, nah. The climax of this episode and season is Rand respecting his girlfriend’s career, so it’s clear the show’s priorities are wokeness and female empowerment, so the only takeaway we have of the Seanchan is that they put collars on women so we’re just going to stick them on Orc Ships and have them announce their arrival by crushing a little girl under a tidal wave.

What a load of garbage. See you next year in Wheel of Time Season 2:Tides of Darkness.