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Please send photographic proof of your possession of the votes, along with reasonable or unreasonable cash demands for the same. All demands will be met with an affirmative, and you will be required to part with your votes on the strength of the word of President Trump, who is widely renowned for keeping his word and promptly paying his bills.

Also, can I get a 10% cut for bringing this information to you? I'm starting a fund to remix (ie shred) the Constitution, since it is so meaningless in it's current form.