So Thursday I flew back to New York from Florida. I had a slight runny nose Thursday morning before leaving but figured it was nothing, and certainly not a reason to cancel my flight. During the flight my nose was a bit runnier, which is natural because of the pressure change. Then I was tired when I got to NY so I went to sleep early. The next day I was tired and had a moderate headache (it hurt behind my eyes, too). I took a nap and then went to bed early. Saturday I had a light headache and went to bed early. By Sunday I felt fine.

Then Monday evening, when I went to brush my teeth, I couldn't taste the toothpaste. At all. It was Crest Mint with Scope, which usually has an incredibly strong taste. That's not good, I thought. So I went Tuesday to get a coronavirus test. After getting the nasal probe swab fast test (negative result) and 3-5 day nasal probe swab, I went home.

Since Monday, I have experimented with various foods and found the following:

• Cheese tastes like wax with a slight rancid aftertaste (so no cheese)
• Bacon has no smell but a mild taste of salt
• I can taste salt on things, particularly if I use a LOT of salt
• Soft drinks right out of the can taste like when you get a glass of Coke in a restaurant with a lot of ice (cheap bastards), then drink 2/3 of it, let the ice melt and take a sip (but with full carbonation)
• Really heavily sweetened things I can taste briefly, but the taste dulls and dies (case in point: I tried a little bag of Sour Patch Kids and could taste a slight sweet flavor that died, but no sour)
• Fruits are like eating metamucil or something, just texture
• Bread is like eating foam
• Trying spicy foods like spicy Buffalo wings will cause my mouth to get warm from the reaction to the spice, but I don't taste it
• Orange juice sort of tastes like it does if you drink it right after brushing your teeth, but weaker

I was contemplating ordering the spiciest vindaloo possible and seeing if I can taste that, but given how off everything tastes it could be terrible and without flavor even as it burns my mouth.

The odd thing is that my regular swab came back negative as well. I clearly had coronavirus because there's nothing that causes this lack of taste and smell that I'm aware of. And it's totally different than when I had an altered sense of taste from, say, the flu. That was just things were a little off from drainage and medication. This is like someone shut off the flavor.