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I would hate that. HATE. Sareitha Sedai Send a noteboard - 02/08/2019 05:28:40 PM

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For those of you who do not speak business jargon, I will explain.

A 100% agile workspace has no offices. None. Not even for directors and VPs. No cubicles. No assigned seating at all. If there is a desk phone at your seat, you have to log on every morning and log out at end of day because tomorrow you might be sitting somewhere different. Everything is open seating with an 18 inch high plastic divider between (most) workstations. Others are just like long tables with 4 or 5 computer ports per side.

The kool-aid explanation is such open workspaces foster collaboration and increase individual empowerment. They increase worker morale and job satisfaction. This is such bullshit that pointing it out makes one feel like Captain Obvious.

Why are we really doing this? Coincidently, we are condensing from three floors to one at the same time. So the inescapable fact that we are reducing our square foot per employee ratio by two-thirds must be a side benefit. Amirite?

This will suck big time. We will have 220+ people vying for 225 seats. Instead of 3 kitchens, we will have 1. Instead of 6 bathrooms, we will have 2. Empowerment and increased satisfaction my ass.



There are parts of my company that have that setup (we call it some other jargony thing though..."hoteling," although the actual arrangement is hot-desking). Fortunately, my area is not one of them, and our leadership is opposed. We will see how long we're able to hold out. Ours really would be to foster collaboration (blah, blah, blah) though, because we are not reducing our footprint at all. Rather, we're in the midst of a space expansion. But still, our area's cubicles are getting shrunk. They are currently larger-than-company-standard and are reducing to company-standard, because even with the work-from-home option and added space, we still don't have enough room for all our people who need physical space onsite.

If you are from Betelgeuse, please have one of your Earth friends read what I've written before you respond. Or try concentrating harder.

"The trophy problem has become extreme."
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Fully agile? Try fully asshole. - 02/08/2019 12:32:54 PM 721 Views
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Re: Question does Open Office delve into Cliques? - 02/08/2019 06:13:52 PM 602 Views
I would hate that. HATE. - 02/08/2019 05:28:40 PM 612 Views
I plan on hating it. - 02/08/2019 05:55:22 PM 599 Views
Sounds fair to me *NM* - 02/08/2019 06:12:35 PM 409 Views
Hm. I'd hate that too, but I wouldn't want cubicles for everyone either... - 02/08/2019 06:07:00 PM 626 Views
Our setup that ended this week was like what you currently have - 02/08/2019 06:57:24 PM 614 Views
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Re: Yuck. What about people with special requirements? - 03/08/2019 09:19:48 PM 608 Views
I have my own office now. Sometimes a law clerk comes and shares it with me. - 04/08/2019 08:27:54 AM 622 Views
Very nice. - 05/08/2019 03:01:22 PM 605 Views
I'm pretty sure the desks are composite ply. Also I get paid minimum wage. - 06/08/2019 11:51:20 PM 626 Views
Not government issue gray steel? - 07/08/2019 01:57:28 AM 721 Views
Yuck. I suggest noise cancelling headphones. - 04/08/2019 03:11:20 PM 684 Views
I will be ordering from Amazon. Today. *NM* - 05/08/2019 03:02:36 PM 419 Views
How are they? *NM* - 08/08/2019 03:31:22 PM 333 Views
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Which of the two colors did you pick? *NM* - 08/08/2019 11:26:50 PM 329 Views
Silver *NM* - 09/08/2019 01:47:30 AM 342 Views
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Ugh @ these consultants - 05/08/2019 06:51:50 PM 687 Views
I've got something you can pivot on right here.... - 05/08/2019 07:28:06 PM 621 Views
Be the Leaf LiterateDog - 05/08/2019 07:30:35 PM 627 Views
Yes.....I would love to get some of that sweet sweet Consultant money. *NM* - 05/08/2019 07:11:18 PM 324 Views
You've already nailed the jargon *NM* - 05/08/2019 07:28:42 PM 320 Views

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