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So two weeks ago I had my annual physical, one of the highlights of this or any year. These days you get the results of all your lab tests on line long before the doctor has a chance to call you and berate you for your lifestyle choices. So I had already reviewed them before I received her call.

When I answered my phone and I heard the receptionist say, "Dr. Rai would like to speak with you," I knew what was coming.

"Mr. Piacenza, I'm calling to review the results of your labs.
There's one or two in particular I need to discuss with you."

"Would that be the slightly elevated liver enzymes?"

"Very good. Yes I am concerned. Do you have a family history of hepatitis or have you ever been diagnosed with it?"

"No."

"Ah, well then are you a heavy drinker?"

"Ummm, heavy is such a subjective term. Define heavy."

"Let me put it this way. Do you regularly consume more than one or two drinks per week?"

"Uhhh....maybe?"

"Well for the next six weeks please do not exceed that amount and then we will run your bloodwork again. If the numbers don't significantly improve, we will need further tests."

One or two PER WEEK??? Really? We went out for hot wings after work Friday night. I had two beers. That means I'm cut off until this Friday.

Oh well. I needed to kvetch. Six weeks won't kill me. Much.