Me, who thinks the Crusades & Inquisition were awesome and whose major complaint about the Holocaust is all the resources being wasted instead of applied to killing commies: "Thank you! Back atcha!"

I do not care in the least about being wished a Happy Hanukah or a Cheerful Chanukah, and, in fact, have wished the latter at people. Besides, it's actually ours, since it's a religious holiday celebrating an event from back when the Jews were actually on Team God. I am not offended by a person wishing me such, because why would I NOT want to have had a happy week last week? By the same token, why would a blaspheming Jew whose liver was not repurposed for a Scottish witches' recipe not want to enjoy himself at the movies or Chinese restaurant on December 25?

For that matter, why would Jews or Muslims or anyone but Jehovah's Witnesses & killjoys object to Santa and Christmas trees and presents and family gatherings? These have nothing to do with religion or theology or offering proper respect to God Incarnate.

Okay, I do have a bit of an issue with Happy Kwanzaa: just because you're an idiot and buy into that nonsense, don't insult me by treating me like one of you.

"Happy Hanukah" does not mean "Join me in eternal damnation" nor does "Merry Christmas" mean "Convert or die, foreskinless heathen!" And neither wish excludes the other. You can have a merry Christmas AND a happy Hanukah and you don't even get charged extra!

"Happy Holidays," on the other hand, means "I am a spinless wuss who cares more about people liking me than their happiness OR the state of their souls." Everyone knows this and people whose hearts are in the right place are annoyed by it, even if they can't articulate the true issue. It's not actually the threat they claim to perceive to their religion and culture, it's the threat to their joy, and to their expression of what they believe in and love, that they push back against.

Also, Hanukah is over, as is Thanksgiving, and New Years isn't until all the way next whole year, so, like forever. There are no "holidays" to wish people have happy, there's only Christmas and ridiculous nonsense among the lesser Anglophonic peoples who in typically duplicitous fashion give misleading names to days completely devoid of organized fistcuffs. Saying "happy holidays" at this point in the year just means your heart is two sizes too small to properly wish people Merry Christmas, or you lack the stones to admit which holiday you are going to be celebrating anyway.

Fun fact: In ridiculous places that put women on their money, saying "Happy Holidays" translates as "Enjoy your vacations!"

Also, if you are NOT Christian, or any sort of religious, why would you prefer a greeting that literally means "Happy Religious Celebration!"?