Although I'm not sure anyone reads those and I would appreciate some feedback on this.
I didn't tell everything in that first post. One other reason she broke up is having feelings for someone else (although this wasn't the main one, which was that I don't talk enough. Which has been an issue several times before during our time together) Apparently this has happened earlier as well, and when told that I was really upset and felt betrayed that she hadn't told me. She had once said that she might easily fall in love, but I never followed up much on that, thinking that if it would happen we'd deal with it then.
Her reasons for not telling were something like this: she had a relationship earlier where her partner felt a lot for others, and that made her feel really crappy. So she wanted to spare me that. She has also felt that she'd be able to rein in her feelings before they'd get too serious. We had a talk yesterday where she asked me how I would feel in a relationship where the other also had feelings for someone else. I don't know, but not being told feels like a worse betrayal right now (when I wasn't told until she broke up). I feel furious that we didn't have such a discussion before our relationship ended.
Ok, it feels much better now that that's shared, although there's a lot of details missing that I don't have enough energy to put down in writing. Sleep has been so much more difficult lately, although I've attached least fallen asleep around midnight the last two nights, but then woken up at 5 or so.
If you read all the way down here, please leave some feedback on how you would feel and do in a similar situation.
I am the Demon of Delightfulness and Sinister Smirkings!
e^(πi)+1=0
identity named after the Terry Pratchett of 18th century mathematics