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When calling out the answer to who is the president during the scout meeting, my son may have blurted Inigo Montoya. :D :D Tuesday Sept 7 2010

"I was the milk bitch in my house when I got my license." ~ Adam Barnard 7/17/2010

"No matter where you go, I will bother you!" Adam Barnard 3-3-2010 9:30pm at me through the bathroom door.

upon learning his step father may go to sea for a few days my 9 yr old son exclaimed panicked, "You mean I will be stuck with you! All day! What will I do without Adam?!"

"Saran wrap hates me. It writes me death threat letters" Adam 3-19-2010 10:41 pm cleaning up pizza.

"Jaggy said we should just be friends." My 9 yr old about his stuffed jaguar who he had decided was his girlfriend a few days before. Gotta suck being dumped by a stuffed animal. ;)

3-24-2010 So Taran just used the phrase "screw this" correctly. I asked him what it means. He told me it means "Forget this". *sigh* another talk about appropriateness. Yes, I'm looking at you! On a brighter note, we are all going to be saying "Screw This" to gas when our cars run on coconut milk and can fly.....

"I think I can pack it pretty well" Adam 3-27-2010

"Mom can we go to Dave and Buster's for dinner?" (yummy restaurant with an arcade)"That sounds fun, but it is expensive and we don't really have the money for it today." "We could just go get some out of the bank account.!" Taran and me 5-11-2010

"Mom, Are those fish having sex?" Taran across the room to me at the aquarium.

"Ok, so maybe I can't write with my pencil in my mouth." Taran 6-23-2010 During homeschool while I was emptying the dishwasher.

"I have whites, darks, and I don't knows." Adam sorting the laundry baskets. :)

"Mom, why does Mario always want pasta?" Taran Sept 20, 2010

"Mom, you are so nice, but not all the time" Taran Sept 22, 2010

(Typos are funny)in my facebook status "Happy anniversary to my wonderful husband! Four year of love! I love you very much and look forward to many man years to come" Beqi Sept 26 2010.

"I'm ten years old! Why don't I know everything yet?!" Taran September 27, 2010

"If I was a fireman, I'd probably get a lot of girls." Taran 10-13-2010

"What would you do with them?" me

"Not what you are thinking! I just think I'd like to hang out with them." Taran.

"What? You don't think I could get my hands on your Kindle and turn your wireless on?" Adam 10-23-2010

"Oh good the last of the bills went through today. All the bills are paid!" Me
"Then you can just throw that checkbook away, huh mom?! We are don paying bills!" Taran exclaimed. 10-27-2010

"Dog poop! It's worse than dragon poop!" Taran
"Why is that?" Me
"Dragon poop isn't real!" Taran (11-16-2010)

"Watching you dance turns me on" Adam
"Watching me breathe turns you on. It makes my boobs move up and down." Me
"But watching you dance turns me on even more than watching you breathe." Adam. (11-17-2010)

"Your monitor looks like my monitor's little brother." Beqi 11-28-2010

"He uenorated on me,and then uenorated again. But I don't think that is enough science." Taran. 12-12-2010 (toad extraction from the flower pot)(He pronounced urinate as you-nor-ate)

"So after he is asleep I'll show you my awesome wrapping technique at the table." 12-23-2010 Beqi.

"So mom, I was just thinking, if your presents really did turn to coal when you shake them, the DS games when I'm playing them would turn to coal and break my DS."Taran
"Don't worry, once the presents are away from the protecting magic of the Christmas tree and unwrapped on Christmas all that magic goes away" Me
"Fewf" Taran 12-28-2010

"You give me that now! I'm tired of watching you play with it!" Beqi to Adam 1-6-2011

"One does not polka slowly." Adam 1-16-2011

"Adam, honey, are you sick? you have been in there over half an hour." Me at the bathroom door.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just hairy." Adam meant Harry as in Dresden book, but I heard Hairy as in omg what are you eating?1-25-2011

"Ahhhh! It's the mommy of DOOM!" Taran 1-29-2011

"Look! They sell heads!" Beqi in the Barbie isle at Target 2-1-2011

"So, what did you name your new Dragon?" Me
"Well, I'm stuck on Yellow Wing or Lazyeye." Taran. 2-6-2011

"I come from a family of pickle eaters." Me 2-9-2011

"A relief map is a map that makes you feel better." Taran 2-18-2011

"You just used every bad word I know!" Taran in awe of his mom.
2-2011 In my defense, the DVR had cut off the ending of Bones, and I was on my period. :/

"The Urinal Mountains separate Europe from Asia." Taran 2-28-2011

"There are just some things, in this world, that you just have to savor." Taran 3-14-2011

"I'm taking mom's advise to pretend I like something to make it go by easier" Taran about his amazingly good attitude during homeschool 3-29-2011

"Oh Fudge-worshipers!" He went on to describe the "Oh almighty fudge of doom!" Taran 5-6-2011

"I thought that being a vegetarian meant I didn't like vegetable. So I told them I was a vegetarian and I was saved from the summer roll. Cause it had crab meat in it and being vegetarian actually means you don't eat meat." Taran 6-7-2011 Heh :)

'I'm gonna bring out my Infinity Virgin!' (Should have been Infantry Veteran) 6-9-2011

"The Lightning Thief was one of Michael Jackson's friend at the camp. The one with the shield." Taran 6-14-2011 :).

"Oh kidneys are overrated, you can have one of mine if anything goes wrong." Adam 6-14-2011

"It is always important to Vacuum your genital hair." Adam 6-20-2011

"It is never a good idea to shave your curlies when you've been drinking." Beqi 6-20-2011

"Curse you law of gravity!" Taran 6-24-2011

"Orange juice is like coffee for kids!" Taran 6-25-2011

"I'm a peanut butter jar cleaning genius!" Adam 6-26-2011

"Do all your thoughts end in exclamation marks?" Me
"Yes! Unless they are questions!" Taran 6/26/2011

"My blood might be donated to vampires after they get done testing it." Taran 7-6-2011

"A little piece of advice, if you are wise, you will never put an ant on you tongue! It hurts! Believe me, I tried it. " Taran 7-16-2011

"Mom, What is a Whammy anyways?" Taran 7-20-2011

"Now we are just getting WILD!" Adam after I switched sides on the bed. :D 7-21-2011

"Adam, Do you ever get under-sea sick?" Taran July 24 2011

"mom, What would happen if I microwaved a spoon?" Taran August 9 2011

"Oh your mood ring is a lot like Sauron's ring!" Taran
"Oh it is?" me
"Yeah it changes colors when it gets hot." Taran August 10 2011

"Mom, Do you ever just look in the mirror and think 'I am so awesome!" Taran 2011

"This game is real annoying. It is disobeying the laws of physics. You can't roll when you are held onto the ceiling with magnets!" 8-19-2011

"You invented my face!" Taran to me 8-20-2011

"What kind of cake should I get, Taran?" Me
"You should get a Rhino horn cake!" Taran 8-27-2011

"Basically, you should do most of your drinking while you are on your period." Adam to me. LOL! 8-25-2011-

"You can't be a human if you are a potato salad" Cleverbot to me 8-30-2011

"I think I have eaten Sufficient. No, I didn't go fishing, I didn't catching twenty and I didn't break my damn pole!" 9-3-2011

"I'm not a noob at writing!" Taran 10-14-2011

"You will never get me to dress up as a fire hydrant. I don't want the wrong attention from dogs, Yuck" Taran 10-17-2011

"Have you ever had the feeling that you just don't know what to do with your life?" Taran 10-30-2011

"I don't know why, but I feel I have to put on pants to make a phone call." Adam 11-10-2011

"When I die, and my life flashes before my eyes, I don't want it to be boring!"11-14-2011 Taran

"Mom, I need you to let Santa know I have two lists this year; a Must Have Christmas list, and a Wish List." Taran 11-28-2011

"Mom, Have I ever been insolent?" Taran asked coming out of his room after bedtime with a book and his face covered in Oreo crumbs.
"Only when you do stuff like break the no food in the bedroom rule and stuff like that." Shocked kid face! 12-21-2011

"Do you ever feel like when you are vacuuming you are tangoing?" Taran 1-16-2012

Superbowl commercial playing in the back ground saying The Superbowl is the most epic day in America "Except for Comicon. Right mom, that is way more epic than a Superbowl"Scoff scoff. Taran 1-24-2012

I'm crawling to my doom! Because I am so Obedient! Taran 1-31-2012

Please don't use your fingers to eat ice cream. 2-3-2012 Beqi

But now Valentines Day is all commercialized and twisted, hardly worth celebrating at all. Taran 2-14-2012 after telling me the story of St Valentine.

We were driving to school and the Beck song Devils Haircut came on. I asked Taran what a devil's haircut would look like. I said maybe hair that looks like horns. He thought for a few seconds. "No, I think he talking about having thoughts about doing bad things. He has a devil's haircut in his mind. Like he thinking of doing something bad." 2-21-2012

This morning's activities included, but were not restricted to, reading from the Fellowship of the Ring and impromptu Lightsaber training session. "You never know we may run into bathtub pirates" too true Taran, too true.4-5-12

"If I go to bed STARVING" (he had two platefuls of spaghetti just an hour and half earlier) " I will DIE!" Taran 5-10-2012

"That's right dog, keep moving!" Taran to our dog during breakfast. No sharing today! 5-18-2012

"So I'm not going to be the center of aYtention? The baby's gonna be the main course, and I'm just gonna be a side dish. He will be the T-bone and I will be just a little pile of lettuce." Taran 5-30-2012

"A kid swiffering (sweeping with the swiffer thingy) the floor?! It sounds more like child labor than a chore." 7-9-12 Taran

"Mom, I think you should be an actress." Taran
"Oh really? Why do you think that." Me
"Because you got the good looks." Taran 7-19-2012

"I don't know if I will be giving you any grandchildren if that is what I have to go through" Taran about baby spit up. 8-7-2012

"That party was not up to standards." Taran 9-1-2012 (no bounce house)

'The Daleks on the bus say ex-ter-min-ate" Taran 9-3-2012

"Taran, I need to to get to bed on time. That is my grown up time." Me
"What? So you can talk about bills and sex?" Taran.
"Exactly" me 10/10/12

"This is yours. You left it in my vagina." Beqi Wind Barnard as she hands me the crying baby.10-20-2012

"In November, pumpkins dot the field like big fat oranges, ready to die to make pie, sweet, yummy pumpkin pie." Taran in his writing assignment 11-13-2012

"Sometimes your eyes tell me stories" Adam 2-17-2013

"you can imagine Thorin Oakenshield putting away your laundry if you want." Adam 3-23-13

"Who hasn't rubbed deer poop all over themselves from time to time?" 3-30-2013

"No one should ever rent you and me a boat!" Me
"Why is that!?" Adam
"Because neither of us knows how to drive a boat!" me
"I Drive BOATS for a living!!!" Adam 4-5-2013

"And no coffee means no happy parents." Taran 4-14-13 sad but true commentary from my oldest.

"Is that your momma? Do you see your momma?" Adam holding his baby boy then he leans in and loudly whispers "She is love." And he looks at me and says again "She is love." yeah, win! :) 4-16-2013

"If I had a side car, you'd be in it." Adam to Beqi 4-19-2013

Oh the moments i miss with the camera....Richard thought the new play tunnel had consumed his older brother and broke out in panicked screams. Too precious! 5-15-2013

Taran just told me he dreams about dragons every night. "So I wonder, am I a person dreaming I'm a dragon, or a dragon dreaming I'm a person." 6-22-2013

In a full elevator yesterday at the naval hospital a man entered and asked me to give him an "A" {for the parking garage}. I hit the button and did a cheerleader "A" aloud. I had a little panic because I didn't mean to do it aloud, but everyone chuckled so I guess it was okay.6-25-2013

"It's because I have blue hair, Isn't it?"
"Yep mom, it's the hair" 7-23-2013

"mom, do i look rugged to you?" Taran 7-28-2013

"you won Taran, that is a strong deck you built"
"Yeah but it was YOU playing the Angel deck, not Adam. I wonder if I'd beat him." 7-31-2013

"I'm going back to weird, mom, weird is normal." Taran 8-22-2013

"I can't look at your face until I figure out what your voice is telling me." Taran 8-28-2013

" This is Jar-Jar Binks. He is evil. He eats babies for breakfast. See, there is a picture of him eating a baby." Adam Barnard 10-11-2013

"See them , they are the Sooners. They are evil. They hang out with Jar-Jar Binks." Adam to baby Ricky.10-12-2013

" Most dwarves are not actually as bloodthirsty as Gimli and Rizzi." Beqi 10-16-2013

"You need to go try to comb your hair, wow!" Me to Taran.
" I like it messy. Besides, I'm not trying to get a date this young." The T-man.
"Comb it anyway so it looks like someone cares about you." 10-23-2013

"Sometimes, women are scarier than Mount Doom." Adam Barnard 12-14-2013

"Shopping for mom is actually pretty easy, look for the prettiest and shiny-est thing" Taran. 12-15-2013

"Mom, it sounds like you're getting Ricky's cold. If you need a break this evening, let me know and I will take him off your hands a while." 2-2-2014

"Mom, did you know there used to be this singer that would only wear one sparkly glove? Can you believe that!? Isn't that weird? His name was Michael Jackson."
2-23-2014

" Mom there is this dance thing after school next Friday, and I want to go. Do you think I need a date?" 9-12-2014

7-22-2016 Taran in the car, "You mean I live where they filmed Twilight? I'm going to need you to pull over so I can puke!"

"Mom, I peed in my sandbox. It wasn't part of the plan. " Ricky 7-28-2016