Journal: Entry for kazetaran

I have a very heavy heart and clouded mind. The greatest man I have ever know has died. He died very shortly after his family made peace with his choice to not live on life sustaining methods. My father in law spent his life helping people. He was a minister in the Anglican church for his whole adult life. He traveled all over the world putting deed to his words by building houses and improving life as much as he could for as many as he could. I am not a religious person, and Richard and I had many discussions about spirituality, God, Parenting, and general harassing. Never a cross word. Always praise and kindness and love. Acceptance for what ever I felt was important to be my importance and no less importance that his beliefs. I can't believe I won't get another hug or a joke or watch him play with the grand kids again. He was managing his Parkinson's. Had to have emergency abdominal surgery and never truly came back. He started to return and soon succumbed again. Another surgery. When that did not make things better and he started slipping away more, His lovely bride of nearly 50 years made the decision to make him comfortable and not fight back. So many things were going wrong, so much internal bleeding and just pain. It was unexpected, it was sudden. And I will miss my friend of a father in law. He adopted me and my son when his youngest boy finally brought me home to meet the family. I am so lucky in my married families. Even in my first marriage. Just wonderful people added to my life. My husband is devastated. I have put myself in charge of feeding him. Besides being here to comfort and console him. Our youngest boy, named after his Grandfather, is crushed. "He is my best friend. We have the same name. His body stopped like Haplo (our dog who passed last month)." Taran takes time to sort his feelings before he expresses them. they can be so intense and his autism makes it hard to make sense of them. He'll come to us when he is ready. I hope the whole family can fly to Dallas to be part of saying goodbye to such an august representative of Faith. And to mourn with our family about losing our Da.

Keto update. Still going strong. Down 10 lbs. Energy level is so much more consistent throughout the day. I never get starving hungry. The sugar addiction is still there. I'm not missing bread, I'm not missing pasta or potatoes, I miss the decadent cakes and cookies. I'm learning to make substitutes for now and will tackle that later on. Keto strong! -10lbs!!!