Journal: Entry for Clover

I know I've been pretty quiet lately, but I'm still going to throw out a request for well wishes and prayers. Let me explain a little. If your attention span is short, skip the next paragraph and go to the important stuff.

Life has been really busy - I moved to Washington state (2200 miles from the house I grew up in), then moved again a week later. Our first-try apartment complex was infested with rats, and I couldn't handle them running over my feet when I took the trash to the dumpster. My boy didn't feel this move was urgent, and he works many hours and is handicapped, so it fell completely on my shoulders. It also had to be done super quickly, and his mother flew in the night before our switchover. She stayed for a week. Now we're all back in my home state so we can attend two weddings (and, you know, breathe).

In the meantime... some of you may remember the series of health-related journals I wrote earlier this year. My problems got better for a while, but they soon resumed and have been very consistent for some time, regardless of my stress or diet or anything else. It's now almost nine months and I've lost 40 to 50 lbs. All the important tests have been negative.

Today I saw my old GP again, and she ordered a CAT scan and full colonoscopy (it was just the sigmoidoscopy before). I don't know when I will get in - hopefully sooner rather than later, but there are always waiting lists for the scopes.

Thing is, there are still 50 million things that could somehow cause my symptoms, and some of them are really hard to diagnose.

After nine months of illness and so many negative test results, I'm not really scared of any particular diagnosis, not even cancer or IBD. I'm just praying that these two tests will yield a simple, clear-cut answer. That is all. Something concrete and definitive.

I would muchly appreciate vibes/thoughts/prayers to that effect.

*On the bright side, money is no longer such an issue. My mother is now convinced that I am in fact sick , so she will help.