Journal: Entry for Gaps

Entertainment as a synonym of distraction: I just wanted to be entertained! The way we falter, like divers crumpling at the end of a diving board, a child doubling over in laughter, or recreating the slow, uncertain slide out of the womb. All sorts of things. (“I’ve confused words too”, she said. “I confused them with emotions.”) Things that prattle and obfuscate the obvious points of observation and obviousness, he said in a haughty English accent. These old grovelers! I saw a brown cow with a bell crossing a creek that was slow moving on an August Sunday. I once saw a cat kill a weasel. I imagined myself sitting on the edge of a train-car as a child, traveling to an uncertain destination. (“I began to misspell words, then punctuation!”) I’ve heard of inertia; I thought it was an ailment of the spine, or perhaps a mental disorder related to dementia, but the precise antonym, remembering forgottens instead of forgetting memories. (“Whole trees,” and he looked away. “I can remember a day or two that I’d watch a whole tree bloom in just two hours. Right out there on the porch.”)