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Part of my problem is that he hasn't told me what level this is for. Tim Send a noteboard - 14/12/2009 03:04:40 PM
I'd be much more OK with that kind of writing in a high school essay than a university one. If this is his first graded paper at university, for example, he'll need help breaking his high-school habits.
Vigilantibus non dormientibus jura subveniunt.

—Nous disons en allemand : le guerre, le mort, le lune, alors que 'soleil' et 'amour' sont du sexe féminin : la soleil, la amour. La vie est neutre.

—La vie ? Neutre ? C'est très joli, et surtout très logique.
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What do you think of this intro? Blaine - 14/12/2009 06:14:51 AM 705 Views
I'm not a fan of the first two sentences. Brian - 14/12/2009 06:42:10 AM 481 Views
Well, i know for a fact that he doesn't opening with questions Blaine - 14/12/2009 07:02:03 AM 595 Views
Ahhh, one of those professors. Brian - 14/12/2009 07:22:46 AM 474 Views
Being sneaky, hmmm. I like this idea. *NM* Blaine - 14/12/2009 07:59:39 AM 229 Views
Sentence fragments are unacceptable in technical writing. You need to fix that. Ghavrel - 14/12/2009 06:51:05 AM 486 Views
I think i see what you are talking about, thanks. *NM* Blaine - 14/12/2009 07:05:04 AM 235 Views
It's like a Pleasentville film review. *NM* AgentOrange - 14/12/2009 09:54:14 AM 193 Views
I actually mention it a few times later. *NM* Blaine - 14/12/2009 08:48:11 PM 239 Views
I want to stick a wikipedia-style "who?" in there. Tim - 14/12/2009 10:53:02 AM 473 Views
That's actually how we're taught to write in American high schools... Lupine - 14/12/2009 02:39:56 PM 462 Views
Part of my problem is that he hasn't told me what level this is for. Tim - 14/12/2009 03:04:40 PM 444 Views
Aye, but it's an intro. Rebekah - 15/12/2009 08:07:38 AM 416 Views
References should come at the first mention of whatever it is. *NM* Tim - 15/12/2009 08:42:27 AM 190 Views
You presume correctly Blaine - 15/12/2009 02:19:07 PM 514 Views
It's simply an introduction, my citations and stuff come in a little later. *NM* Blaine - 14/12/2009 08:49:15 PM 238 Views
I smell a strawman... Tashmere - 15/12/2009 02:25:36 AM 480 Views
well it was in response to a prompt which stated people call it the "Golden Age". My hands were tied *NM* Blaine - 15/12/2009 02:20:54 PM 218 Views
Stylistically it needs a lot of work. Tom - 15/12/2009 03:28:24 AM 523 Views
Hell, with a critique like that I may start putting up my introductory paragraphs. *NM* Ghavrel - 15/12/2009 04:37:53 AM 257 Views
Wow, thanks *NM* Blaine - 15/12/2009 02:22:48 PM 245 Views
That was a good critique. *NM* Tashmere - 16/12/2009 01:21:28 AM 180 Views
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