First off, you all know I'm completely hopeless at social things, for a pretty good combination of reasons. But that doesn't change the fact that I've recently turned 21 and have still never been to a bar in my city. And I want to have one little tiny taste of that college experience. Problem is, I don't really have friends here - well, I have one, but he's odd and I'm sort of angry at him anyway. 
Actually, what I really want to do is go to a lesbian/gay bar. Two new experiences in one! That would even more definitely rule out the hetero male friend, though.
So, yeah. How does one go about this? How do you even know which bars cater to the LGBTs? What kind of clothing do you wear? Does it mark you as a pathetic loser if you just sit there by yourself at the counter?
I'm not looking to do anything wild or crazy, and I'm probably too shy to dance, so maybe it's just a bad idea anyway. All I really want to get out of it is a good beer and maybe a conversation with a pretty girl or two. Curiosity. You know.
All advice welcome.
Also, thanks to Mat Maniac for making me feel less embarrassed about my embarrassing social problems by posting about his own.
Actually, what I really want to do is go to a lesbian/gay bar. Two new experiences in one! That would even more definitely rule out the hetero male friend, though.
So, yeah. How does one go about this? How do you even know which bars cater to the LGBTs? What kind of clothing do you wear? Does it mark you as a pathetic loser if you just sit there by yourself at the counter?
I'm not looking to do anything wild or crazy, and I'm probably too shy to dance, so maybe it's just a bad idea anyway. All I really want to get out of it is a good beer and maybe a conversation with a pretty girl or two. Curiosity. You know.
All advice welcome.
Also, thanks to Mat Maniac for making me feel less embarrassed about my embarrassing social problems by posting about his own.
As I recall it can be quite nerve racking (hey it's been a while since I was actually on the scene proper, so I'd probably be nervous again) but ultimately worth it. Check online to see what LGBT bars are around. Also consider looking for other LGBT venues (e.g. coffee shops, resource centres, etc.), if you are really nervous it might be a better idea to start out somewhere that doesn't have alcohol.
On the alcohol issue, it might be a good idea not to drink any if you are nervous, stick to sodas or juices. If you are by yourself and feeling anxious you will drink a lot quicker than you normally would, which if you are not careful will lead to you getting drunk quite quickly.
It might be an idea to go to a bar earlier in the day, so during the afternoon or just after work. It's a more relaxed part of the day were usually people aren't trying to hook up with each other. It might be easier to start a relaxed conversation at that time of the day also. Also it is much less weird to sit in a bar reading a book during the middle of the day, than it is later in the evening.
Anyway the main thing is too relax and enjoy yourself.
Once known as Hochopepa
You cannot kill a vampire with an MDF stake; werewolves can't fly; zombies do not run. - Simon Pegg
You cannot kill a vampire with an MDF stake; werewolves can't fly; zombies do not run. - Simon Pegg
Need social advice. Is it... you know... allowed to go to a bar by yourself?
- 09/11/2009 03:57:51 AM
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If all you want is some place to have a good beer, then don't go to a LGBT bar.
- 09/11/2009 05:11:08 AM
434 Views
I think I can overcome the urge to dance, as long as it won't make me a pariah.
- 09/11/2009 02:20:46 PM
373 Views
- 09/11/2009 02:20:46 PM
373 Views
Bring a book? *NM*
- 09/11/2009 11:01:54 AM
302 Views
... but which book?
- 09/11/2009 02:09:29 PM
395 Views
*NM*
You could ask 'teh gay' that you know that lives in the same city as you do.
- 09/11/2009 02:16:12 PM
422 Views
I was being passive. Hoping you would see this and respond.
- 09/11/2009 02:18:59 PM
396 Views
- 09/11/2009 02:18:59 PM
396 Views
No, I'll reply in full/send noteboard. We can arrange something so you don't go alone.
- 09/11/2009 02:22:44 PM
414 Views
<3
- 10/11/2009 02:26:04 AM
520 Views
Yes, it's allowed.
- 09/11/2009 02:43:18 PM
565 Views
"i just turned 21, it's my first time in a bar" sounds like the wrong thing to say somehow...
- 09/11/2009 04:17:12 PM
515 Views
The main thing is relax
- 10/11/2009 05:40:28 PM
525 Views