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I gave She her dad's last name, we weren't married, had no real intentions of getting married, StarrBecca Send a noteboard - 03/11/2009 05:10:31 AM
Backstory - My brother's son (five years old) is technically my sister-in-law's son from a previous marriage. However, vile ex-husband hasn't been a figure in the child's life since a few months after he was born, while my brother has been the "dad" since my nephew was one and a half. Ex-in law family have pretty much disowned the ex-husband and completely love my brother. My brother, his wife, and the kids vacation with the ex-in-laws, etc.

I regret it every parent teacher meeting, every doctor appt."mrs.Fulmer?" no, and thank the g-ds above.
With the addition of my new niece, brother and sister-in-law are considering changing the son's name to better fit in with the family. They don't want to offend my nephew's biological grandparents, but they also don't want my nephew to feel too different by not having the same name as the rest of the family. Additionally, they don't feel that my nephew is emotionally ready for the "Whys" of a different last name.

So...

1) Have you ever been in a similar situation? Either as the parent, child, grandparent?

2) How, if at all, would having a different last name than your siblings affect you?

3) Would you feel offended if you were the biological grandparent in this type of situation?

There are ways to go around this, doing hyphenated names and whatnot.
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Changing your child's name... - 02/11/2009 11:07:40 PM 863 Views
I'm an observer. - 02/11/2009 11:16:50 PM 647 Views
Is your brother going to actually adopt the child? - 02/11/2009 11:54:20 PM 659 Views
My brother wants to, but... - 03/11/2009 11:18:20 PM 592 Views
Does he pay child support? - 04/11/2009 12:38:33 AM 521 Views
Never paid a dime. - 04/11/2009 12:44:40 AM 526 Views
Re: Never paid a dime. - 04/11/2009 03:24:02 AM 551 Views
Re: Never paid a dime. - 05/11/2009 07:35:05 AM 509 Views
I'd only change the name if he adopted the son legally. - 03/11/2009 12:23:08 AM 538 Views
I agree with you and Tash... - 03/11/2009 03:22:28 AM 541 Views
The thing is... - 03/11/2009 11:19:45 PM 498 Views
Concur - 03/11/2009 06:56:54 PM 574 Views
I'm more interested in the feelings/needs of the child than the feelings of adults. - 03/11/2009 01:16:49 AM 536 Views
I really like this reply and agree with everything in it... - 03/11/2009 01:23:15 AM 557 Views
There's bad things, and there's bad things. - 03/11/2009 01:46:33 PM 483 Views
I don't know the full details of the first marriage... - 03/11/2009 11:28:41 PM 520 Views
True... - 03/11/2009 11:23:55 PM 565 Views
Yes. - 04/11/2009 12:36:24 AM 578 Views
My situation was almost the same. - 03/11/2009 02:10:24 AM 598 Views
Not me, but..... - 03/11/2009 03:07:28 AM 636 Views
I personally believe the boy should keep his biological fathers last name no matter what *NM* - 03/11/2009 03:18:24 AM 242 Views
I'm curious why you believe this. - 03/11/2009 01:54:40 PM 530 Views
I'm a bit curious too...explain. *NM* - 03/11/2009 11:31:02 PM 233 Views
personal belief - 04/11/2009 03:44:35 PM 499 Views
I gave She her dad's last name, we weren't married, had no real intentions of getting married, - 03/11/2009 05:10:31 AM 528 Views
Happened to my dad (kinda). - 03/11/2009 05:25:52 AM 510 Views
Here are my thoughts (I have been in a somewhat similar situation). - 03/11/2009 06:52:17 AM 594 Views
Curious - 03/11/2009 01:59:30 PM 541 Views
Re: Curious - 03/11/2009 06:46:52 PM 603 Views
I am in a similar position. - 03/11/2009 07:18:57 AM 544 Views
I'd wait until the child is old enough to want to himself - 03/11/2009 07:29:36 AM 521 Views
I think I kind of agree here... - 06/11/2009 03:28:31 AM 570 Views

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