No, but my brother in law married this year, and "took on" a four year old. The four year old was asked if she minded her name being changed (it wasn't that of her bio fathers - it was her mothers name) she wasn't sure how she felt about it, but as she wasn't adverse to it, they changed it (another child planned not wanting her to be different that's what they preferred. had she said "no" they would have left it though). When it came to name change day (the wedding) said 4 year old changed her mind (possibly realising what it actually meant) but was asked to give it a go - and they would reassess if she really didn't like it. A few weeks later she decided she liked having the same name as "dad".

Also - my parents came together after loosing first spouses, and had 6 children between them. At that time the younger children were adopted and had their names changed, the older ones were asked what they preferred. All ended up adopted and changed their names (oldest would have been 14, youngest 5 or 6). Though I think 3 have now reverted to their original surnames.

My mum came from a similar situation too - but in her case her and her brother kept their names, but I'm guessing there were even more "broken" families just after the 2nd WW and that less questions would have been asked for it to be a big deal.



Personally - had my siblings had different surnames it probably WOULD have been a big deal. I grew up thinking of them as brothers and sisters, no deal was made that actually were were 'half' brothers and sisters - or that some of them were not blood related at all (we were all told, it was never a secret, but we always thought of each other as siblings).
I think having the same name helped with the feeling of family - when people had left home for a few years and changed their names back many of us grew apart.



I'd like to think not, but I would also like to think in that if parent/s of said grandchild got on well with me they would discuss it with me before it was a done deal, so I could give an opinion did I have one.
But really, grandchildren aren't going to have the same surname as both sets of grandparents anyway - I wouldn't be offended if my daughter married, changed her name and any children were born to that new name - why should it bother me if other grandkids don't have my name either?



I think as others have said the feelings/needs of the child are most important - and in my experience that means asking the child if they are old enough to have any understanding and laying the options before them, and if they do not understand then thinking through the implications of doing so/not doing so.

and sorry that was so long