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I'm an observer. nossy Send a noteboard - 02/11/2009 11:16:50 PM
1) Have you ever been in a similar situation? Either as the parent, child, grandparent?

2) How, if at all, would having a different last name than your siblings affect you?

3) Would you feel offended if you were the biological grandparent in this type of situation?

My sister has a wonky situation with kids and names (divorce and now two different fathers). The way it turned out in our family, the actual "name" part wasn't what caused a problem. It was that one kid didn't understand why her dad (not really, but she didn't get that) only wanted to see her sister and not her. She didn't understand that it wasn't her father. In your case, not changing the name kinda puts this issue right in front of the kids' faces, and (even though I'm in favor of telling kids the truth early on) maybe it's better to avoid going deeply into details until they can understand it.

I say the grandparents should respect whatever the parents want to do, especially if the parents make an effort to represent themselves respectfully.
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Changing your child's name... - 02/11/2009 11:07:40 PM 809 Views
I'm an observer. - 02/11/2009 11:16:50 PM 592 Views
Is your brother going to actually adopt the child? - 02/11/2009 11:54:20 PM 596 Views
My brother wants to, but... - 03/11/2009 11:18:20 PM 536 Views
Does he pay child support? - 04/11/2009 12:38:33 AM 462 Views
Never paid a dime. - 04/11/2009 12:44:40 AM 471 Views
Re: Never paid a dime. - 04/11/2009 03:24:02 AM 494 Views
Re: Never paid a dime. - 05/11/2009 07:35:05 AM 450 Views
I'd only change the name if he adopted the son legally. - 03/11/2009 12:23:08 AM 483 Views
I agree with you and Tash... - 03/11/2009 03:22:28 AM 478 Views
The thing is... - 03/11/2009 11:19:45 PM 445 Views
Concur - 03/11/2009 06:56:54 PM 518 Views
I'm more interested in the feelings/needs of the child than the feelings of adults. - 03/11/2009 01:16:49 AM 492 Views
I really like this reply and agree with everything in it... - 03/11/2009 01:23:15 AM 504 Views
There's bad things, and there's bad things. - 03/11/2009 01:46:33 PM 434 Views
I don't know the full details of the first marriage... - 03/11/2009 11:28:41 PM 464 Views
True... - 03/11/2009 11:23:55 PM 507 Views
Yes. - 04/11/2009 12:36:24 AM 515 Views
My situation was almost the same. - 03/11/2009 02:10:24 AM 545 Views
Not me, but..... - 03/11/2009 03:07:28 AM 572 Views
I personally believe the boy should keep his biological fathers last name no matter what *NM* - 03/11/2009 03:18:24 AM 215 Views
I'm curious why you believe this. - 03/11/2009 01:54:40 PM 468 Views
I'm a bit curious too...explain. *NM* - 03/11/2009 11:31:02 PM 211 Views
personal belief - 04/11/2009 03:44:35 PM 440 Views
Happened to my dad (kinda). - 03/11/2009 05:25:52 AM 452 Views
Here are my thoughts (I have been in a somewhat similar situation). - 03/11/2009 06:52:17 AM 530 Views
Curious - 03/11/2009 01:59:30 PM 482 Views
Re: Curious - 03/11/2009 06:46:52 PM 549 Views
I am in a similar position. - 03/11/2009 07:18:57 AM 482 Views
I'd wait until the child is old enough to want to himself - 03/11/2009 07:29:36 AM 464 Views
I think I kind of agree here... - 06/11/2009 03:28:31 AM 514 Views

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