Remember that whole "hero of the '90s" phenomenon? We called anyone a hero who suffered for some reason. Kid in the wheelchair? Hero. Retarded guy working at McDonald's? Hero. Victim of a rapist? Hero.
This willful perversion of the notion of heroism then extended to other words that traditionally indicated martial valor, like "brave". "Brave" now means any time someone takes a position despite opposition, so long as society has decided that it agrees with the decision. You testify before Congress to support some silly push for free contraception (when it's already inexpensive and optional) and they call you "brave". You sit in a park in New York for a month getting filthy and smelly because you're upset you didn't get rich and they call you "brave". You speak out to defend your poor judgment in leaving nude photos of yourself in "the Cloud" despite the fact that as a celebrity you know hackers are going to steal them at the first opportunity, and they call you "brave".
I'm going to go out on a limb here and probably ruffle feathers, but the men and women who join the armed forces are not brave, courageous or heros simply because they "chose to serve". They train to fight, they know full well when joining that they could end up having to leave their families behind and go off to war and maybe never come back. That is NOT heroism, it IS their job, the job they knowingly signed up for.
What is brave, what is heroic, what is courageous is when a soldier, in a split moment in which most people would piss their pants, jumps onto a grenade that is thrown at his or her brothers and ends his or her life so that others may live. Rescuing civilians by evacuating them under fire, at risk of one's own life when the soldier could have fled in the safety of an armored vehicle or fled through sewers or tunnels, etc. - that is brave and heroic.
I have respect for all the men and women of our armed forces, but not every soldier is a "hero".
Speaking in general now, not specifically of soldiers, I think the thing I see all over that is much in line with your description is that people have either never been taught or have forgotten that going beyond what is expected or required is the birthing ground of heroism. Nobody can be a hero or earn the title of brave when all they do is what is required or expected anyways. Everybody nowadays just seems to want to skate by doing the minimum they have to while reaping the rewards of those who exceed expectations.
-Brandon Sanderson, The Way of Kings
