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Re: There's a chicken or egg aspect to this, what is fascinating about her? Postsecret Send a noteboard - 13/03/2013 10:34:03 PM

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How do you get a chicken without it coming from an egg, or in this case, how are you fascinated by this girl by more than appearance if you haven't gotten to know her somewhat already?

If you know enough about someone to be fascinated by them then you've already got a basis for speaking to them.

Otherwise a large part of the fascination is manufactured fantasy, fun to enjoy but unrelated to that person.

It might help you or us if you explained what you find fascinating about her. At the moment it simply sounds like a young man (or woman, I never assume these days) with a classic and principally hormonal infatuation with a young woman. Nothing wrong with that, per se, but as long as that is the known extent of it everyone's basically limited to offering you the regular advice, which isn't even regular introduction advice but regular life advice which applies to everything. Relax, be yourself, just do it, don't hesitate, strike while the iron's hot, etc. Everyone also views this as a regular normal thing of growing up, which requires occasional failure so from our perspective there is no negative outcome to you simply going up and talking to her, at least not one that won't be nearly inevitable in the future with some other gal.

Thus far, while saying and implying there's more to it then a normal crush, you haven't actually given the audience any justification for that.

As to social awkwardness, that is not a built in trait nor its reverse, being charismatic is something you can actually learn. Step 1 is to pretty much smile all the time. It is easy and very effective, everything else takes practice but it is a learned skill not an inborn trait.



I wasn't trying to imply there was anything more than a crush (and I think fascination is more fitting than crush in my case). We've talked from time to time so I know some things about her. In regards to fascination, mostly it's just that she's really fun to be with, and has sense of humour. She also laughs alot. I enjoy her company. The part that is causing me problems is how am I going to get to know her better than the current level of occasional chat at uni? It's mostly just me having a nervous, shy and slightly akward personality, so I'm sort of fishing for ways to overcome that without coming out as akward and/or creepy. If you think I don't make sense, you're not the only one. I'm pretty confused myself.
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So, there's this girl at my Uni. - 10/03/2013 09:46:07 PM 1115 Views
I'm not sure if you sound young, or I'm just old. - 10/03/2013 10:08:35 PM 707 Views
Sounds logical. - 10/03/2013 10:30:53 PM 756 Views
Add her on Facebook - 10/03/2013 11:35:44 PM 712 Views
I'm not sure if I agree with this. - 11/03/2013 10:32:25 PM 731 Views
Fear is a choice, according to the trailer for Will Smith's new movie - 11/03/2013 03:36:29 AM 681 Views
I'll try to help. - 11/03/2013 01:34:55 PM 744 Views
Re: I'll try to help. - 11/03/2013 07:18:45 PM 798 Views
No, it doesn't make sense to me. - 13/03/2013 03:53:10 PM 707 Views
Re: No, it doesn't make sense to me. - 13/03/2013 10:43:59 PM 754 Views
Ah, much better. - 14/03/2013 03:33:50 PM 689 Views
Re: I'll try to help. - 14/03/2013 09:50:26 PM 680 Views
I mostly agree. - 15/03/2013 05:11:19 PM 685 Views
There's a chicken or egg aspect to this, what is fascinating about her? - 13/03/2013 09:10:13 PM 780 Views
Re: There's a chicken or egg aspect to this, what is fascinating about her? - 13/03/2013 10:34:03 PM 790 Views
Well that's not all that abnormal at all - 14/03/2013 02:32:14 AM 815 Views
I... have no idea how to come on to women. - 15/03/2013 01:54:29 AM 931 Views
The chances she'd be interested in you back in a sexual sense are only 1-5% - 15/03/2013 02:49:13 AM 754 Views
just get her talking about herself. chicks dig that *NM* - 15/03/2013 05:07:54 PM 384 Views

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