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If walking the line is the thrill, then keep walking the line. Aeryn Send a noteboard - 12/02/2013 07:44:59 PM
Don't be surprised at the answers you get here. I mean, even the way you phrased your question, what can you do? Either keep doing what you were doing, which you say will lead you to cheat, or stop what you were doing. My first instinct was to judge, although I think I was offended more on behalf of the other women than your wife. You haven't wronged your wife - you've remained faithful, and by the sounds of it, a good and loving husband. Messing with other people's emotions is not right, but, it is thrilling. I will admit that too.

I wouldn't have a dilemma if I didn't truly love my wife. She's perfect for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But the best moments in life are the passionate ones, the ones that get your heart pumping. Chasing women does this. Any advice? How should I handle this? I haven't gone totally over the line yet, but I fear that's only a matter of time.


Not necessarily. It isn't necessarily a matter of time. You are well aware that it is the chase and the hunt you like, and that the actual act of sex would be disappointing. Just don't forget that. As long as you can step back at that critical moment. Don't take the chance of giving your wife an STD.

Those desires, they are part of your nature. Learn to work with them, to satisfy them in safe ways. Don't lose your head, don't get carried away, remember what's important. Step up the sex life with your wife - maybe a little more dominance & submission games will serve to vent your energies & distract you. Don't fixate too much on any one woman, don't fantasize about anyone specific - once you start doing that, the step to physical action is too easy.

Ah, you want to see how other people dealt with similar situations. When I don't see my boyfriend for more than 5 days, I feel an overwhelming urge to cheat on him. I'm aware of this, and it isn't a trifling matter. So I make sure to see him regularly, and have us go on vacation together. If one day, a longer separation is unavoidable, then I'll probably fail, but I'm fighting to push that day as far off as possible. If/when I do cheat, I'll use condoms, and then erase the incident from my mind and from history.
This message last edited by Aeryn on 12/02/2013 at 07:57:11 PM
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I am on the verge of having an affair - 11/02/2013 11:41:57 PM 1839 Views
Ditch the wife or stop being a prat. - 12/02/2013 12:30:30 AM 1095 Views
Great. Helpful advice - 12/02/2013 12:33:36 AM 982 Views
What exactly do you want to hear? - 12/02/2013 12:47:06 AM 958 Views
I don't know, something helpful - 12/02/2013 12:59:23 AM 1029 Views
The telling you to grow up bit wasn't the advice - 12/02/2013 01:09:54 AM 987 Views
So there is no situation in which advice helps? - 12/02/2013 01:23:21 AM 1031 Views
I didn't say nobody could help you at all - 12/02/2013 01:41:19 AM 1014 Views
You're assuming a moral absolute - 12/02/2013 02:06:13 AM 1199 Views
It is called forsaking all others, and yes there are absolutes. - 13/02/2013 05:58:20 PM 1097 Views
My opinion ... - 12/02/2013 01:21:38 AM 1021 Views
That's not really advice - 12/02/2013 01:28:42 AM 1029 Views
Why is it obvious? - 12/02/2013 01:42:26 AM 1050 Views
That's exactly what I'm looking for - 12/02/2013 02:11:51 AM 1216 Views
I don't know if that's realistic. - 12/02/2013 05:46:48 AM 971 Views
What exactly did you want to hear? - 12/02/2013 04:31:56 AM 933 Views
More holier-than-thou judgment. Great thanks. *NM* - 12/02/2013 04:50:36 AM 649 Views
Well, he's a pastor, so he probably is holier-than-thou. *NM* - 12/02/2013 07:48:55 PM 518 Views
So what you wanted was a high five? - 13/02/2013 04:21:57 PM 953 Views
role play. *NM* - 12/02/2013 04:41:07 AM 530 Views
You have 4 options - 12/02/2013 06:03:43 AM 955 Views
If it isn't about the sex then swinging really won't help *NM* - 12/02/2013 12:55:27 PM 504 Views
So, you ask for advice, then get upset when you don't like it? - 12/02/2013 06:04:07 AM 959 Views
It's probably the way you phrased it. - 12/02/2013 08:41:06 AM 1168 Views
find another passion - 12/02/2013 01:01:10 PM 928 Views
I don't judge you. I am exactly the same way. - 12/02/2013 01:56:58 PM 1122 Views
I don't give a shit about polyamory. I give a shit about honesty. - 13/02/2013 09:26:56 AM 967 Views
That's why I told him it's not okay, if he is lying to her. *NM* - 13/02/2013 10:00:04 AM 506 Views
That was kind of my take. - 13/02/2013 02:53:05 PM 1181 Views
I get where you're coming from - 12/02/2013 01:57:48 PM 1055 Views
Here is my advice. - 12/02/2013 03:49:55 PM 1235 Views
Well said. - 13/02/2013 03:16:13 PM 953 Views
LOL - 12/02/2013 03:54:46 PM 980 Views
Nice choice of words, there - 12/02/2013 04:04:15 PM 1017 Views
I don't know if I agree that you should talk to her about this. - 12/02/2013 04:30:14 PM 1110 Views
If walking the line is the thrill, then keep walking the line. - 12/02/2013 07:44:59 PM 1129 Views
Seeing your edit, I'm not sure you'll read this.... - 12/02/2013 11:20:46 PM 1024 Views
The thrill of the chase - 13/02/2013 02:38:59 PM 994 Views
Hehe, love that things are pretty much the same around here. *NM* - 14/02/2013 12:29:56 AM 521 Views
I feel sorry for you *NM* - 14/02/2013 01:10:10 AM 569 Views
Best thing you can do is travel around and stay in hostels - 14/02/2013 02:24:50 AM 996 Views
Be open to your wife about how you feel. - 14/02/2013 10:24:13 PM 883 Views

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