If walking the line is the thrill, then keep walking the line.
Aeryn Send a noteboard - 12/02/2013 07:44:59 PM
Don't be surprised at the answers you get here. I mean, even the way you phrased your question, what can you do? Either keep doing what you were doing, which you say will lead you to cheat, or stop what you were doing. My first instinct was to judge, although I think I was offended more on behalf of the other women than your wife. You haven't wronged your wife - you've remained faithful, and by the sounds of it, a good and loving husband. Messing with other people's emotions is not right, but, it is thrilling. I will admit that too.
Not necessarily. It isn't necessarily a matter of time. You are well aware that it is the chase and the hunt you like, and that the actual act of sex would be disappointing. Just don't forget that. As long as you can step back at that critical moment. Don't take the chance of giving your wife an STD.
Those desires, they are part of your nature. Learn to work with them, to satisfy them in safe ways. Don't lose your head, don't get carried away, remember what's important. Step up the sex life with your wife - maybe a little more dominance & submission games will serve to vent your energies & distract you. Don't fixate too much on any one woman, don't fantasize about anyone specific - once you start doing that, the step to physical action is too easy.
Ah, you want to see how other people dealt with similar situations. When I don't see my boyfriend for more than 5 days, I feel an overwhelming urge to cheat on him. I'm aware of this, and it isn't a trifling matter. So I make sure to see him regularly, and have us go on vacation together. If one day, a longer separation is unavoidable, then I'll probably fail, but I'm fighting to push that day as far off as possible. If/when I do cheat, I'll use condoms, and then erase the incident from my mind and from history.
I wouldn't have a dilemma if I didn't truly love my wife. She's perfect for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But the best moments in life are the passionate ones, the ones that get your heart pumping. Chasing women does this. Any advice? How should I handle this? I haven't gone totally over the line yet, but I fear that's only a matter of time.
Not necessarily. It isn't necessarily a matter of time. You are well aware that it is the chase and the hunt you like, and that the actual act of sex would be disappointing. Just don't forget that. As long as you can step back at that critical moment. Don't take the chance of giving your wife an STD.
Those desires, they are part of your nature. Learn to work with them, to satisfy them in safe ways. Don't lose your head, don't get carried away, remember what's important. Step up the sex life with your wife - maybe a little more dominance & submission games will serve to vent your energies & distract you. Don't fixate too much on any one woman, don't fantasize about anyone specific - once you start doing that, the step to physical action is too easy.
Ah, you want to see how other people dealt with similar situations. When I don't see my boyfriend for more than 5 days, I feel an overwhelming urge to cheat on him. I'm aware of this, and it isn't a trifling matter. So I make sure to see him regularly, and have us go on vacation together. If one day, a longer separation is unavoidable, then I'll probably fail, but I'm fighting to push that day as far off as possible. If/when I do cheat, I'll use condoms, and then erase the incident from my mind and from history.
This message last edited by Aeryn on 12/02/2013 at 07:57:11 PM
I am on the verge of having an affair
11/02/2013 11:41:57 PM
- 1766 Views
Ditch the wife or stop being a prat.
12/02/2013 12:30:30 AM
- 1028 Views
Great. Helpful advice
12/02/2013 12:33:36 AM
- 909 Views
What exactly do you want to hear?
12/02/2013 12:47:06 AM
- 889 Views
I don't know, something helpful
12/02/2013 12:59:23 AM
- 956 Views
The telling you to grow up bit wasn't the advice
12/02/2013 01:09:54 AM
- 914 Views
So there is no situation in which advice helps?
12/02/2013 01:23:21 AM
- 954 Views
I didn't say nobody could help you at all
12/02/2013 01:41:19 AM
- 944 Views
My opinion ...
12/02/2013 01:21:38 AM
- 955 Views
That's not really advice
12/02/2013 01:28:42 AM
- 955 Views
Why is it obvious?
12/02/2013 01:42:26 AM
- 970 Views
Get therapy or get a divorce. Your wife deserves better than the person you're being now. *NM*
12/02/2013 04:00:38 AM
- 503 Views
Careful you don't fall off that high horse
12/02/2013 04:53:11 AM
- 994 Views
You might try 4chan. Their morals seem more in line with the ones you're currently espousing. *NM*
13/02/2013 09:29:04 AM
- 468 Views
What exactly did you want to hear?
12/02/2013 04:31:56 AM
- 857 Views
role play. *NM*
12/02/2013 04:41:07 AM
- 494 Views
I appreciate something other than judgment. Thank you!
12/02/2013 04:51:56 AM
- 975 Views
i was poly for a decade. maybe that's a thing to consider? opening your marriage for both of you?
13/02/2013 05:12:06 AM
- 851 Views
If you don't have kids, then just leave the marriage or have an open relationship. *NM*
12/02/2013 05:19:27 AM
- 450 Views
You have 4 options
12/02/2013 06:03:43 AM
- 886 Views
Number one is not an option, it is a looming and growing disaster.
13/02/2013 02:57:19 PM
- 893 Views
I'm not sure there's enough context to offer much useful advice, but I'd line up incentives
12/02/2013 08:29:41 AM
- 977 Views
I don't judge you. I am exactly the same way.
12/02/2013 01:56:58 PM
- 1047 Views
I don't give a shit about polyamory. I give a shit about honesty.
13/02/2013 09:26:56 AM
- 900 Views
If walking the line is the thrill, then keep walking the line.
12/02/2013 07:44:59 PM
- 1053 Views
Do you want help making a decision, or validation of one already made?
13/02/2013 02:47:59 PM
- 956 Views
Hehe, love that things are pretty much the same around here. *NM*
14/02/2013 12:29:56 AM
- 491 Views