That depends on what you want to do about it, and on what you know of what kind of person/woman she is. Essentially what I'm getting from what you're saying is that she's not enough for you. It's not enough that she loves you, desires you, admires you...you "need" to feel that from other women too. Do you want to give her that message? It could fundamentally undermine the relationship between the two of you. But if she isn't likely to take it that way and you think she could help you work through whatever it is about you that makes you "need" this, by all means ask for her help. Now if you decide you can keep doing this and just keep it under control (whatever that means), then that's a risk to her security in the marriage and the life she thinks she's building. In that case you do owe it to her to make her aware of it so that if she does decide she wants to take the risk of staying with you, it's her decision. This is even more important if you guys are thinking about/planning to have children. She needs to know this about you before she can make that decision. Unless you are going to decide to stop.

You said "I love my wife too much to risk losing her." Do you really not think you're already risking losing her? I think (in general) that it's fairly typical for men to think that anything less than physical sex isn't cheating, and it's fairly typical for women to view "emotional cheating" (which is absolutely what you're doing) as equally bad if not worse. Your wife may have a different view; I don't know her. But just understand that whether you actually follow through and have sex with someone else or not, if your wife finds out about any of this (especially if she finds out not from you), the end result might be the same and it might not be your decision any more.

You said this in another reply. I think the first 2 sentences are very astute by the way:



Couple thoughts here. You're probably not ever going to get to the point where you don't feel the inclination unless you are willing and able to figure out where this comes from...that will take some serious soul searching and very likely some good therapy. But in the end it doesn't matter. You're going to have to start acting like you don't have the inclination long before you actually stop having it (feelings follow behaviors a lot of the time, as much as we'd like that to be the other way around). One way to accomplish this is every time you have that inclination, turn it into doing something nice for your wife. Put all that energy you would have put into "seducing" another woman into doing something that strengthens your bond with your wife. You say that you want women to know you're not serious in your flirting, but that to me just sounds like you want to make them responsible for anything that comes of it or whether anything comes of it (which isn't really fair).