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I don't judge you. I am exactly the same way. ironclad Send a noteboard - 12/02/2013 01:56:58 PM
And by exactly I mean exactly. I manage by being honest about it with my gf. It worked perfectly with my last one, where we had an open relationship and still works pretty great with my current one, even though I will admit it's certainly not easy for her at all times. I told her two weeks into the relationship (4 years ago) that this is how I am, how I always have been and she knows I love only her. So I believe you when you say you love your wife and still feel the need to do this.
Don't let anyone tell you you don't love her because you enjoy flirting with others. That's rubbish.
But your wife deserves to know that this is how you function and maybe she's up for alternatives like roleplaying, threesomes, maybe even an open relationship. Otherwise there'll always be a level of dishonesty and that is not okay. Good luck!

Oh and I, too, am so sick of people pretending monogamy is the only or even natural way of having relationships and their judgmental attitude towards anyone who doesn't work that way.

You shouldn't get so defensive in your Edit, though.
*MySmiley*

You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.
This message last edited by ironclad on 12/02/2013 at 02:19:45 PM
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I am on the verge of having an affair Dark Knight - 11/02/2013 11:41:57 PM 1791 Views
Ditch the wife or stop being a prat. TheCrownless - 12/02/2013 12:30:30 AM 1050 Views
Great. Helpful advice Dark Knight - 12/02/2013 12:33:36 AM 934 Views
What exactly do you want to hear? TheCrownless - 12/02/2013 12:47:06 AM 912 Views
I don't know, something helpful Dark Knight - 12/02/2013 12:59:23 AM 979 Views
The telling you to grow up bit wasn't the advice TheCrownless - 12/02/2013 01:09:54 AM 932 Views
So there is no situation in which advice helps? Dark Knight - 12/02/2013 01:23:21 AM 977 Views
I didn't say nobody could help you at all TheCrownless - 12/02/2013 01:41:19 AM 964 Views
You're assuming a moral absolute Dark Knight - 12/02/2013 02:06:13 AM 1144 Views
It is called forsaking all others, and yes there are absolutes. HyogaRott - 13/02/2013 05:58:20 PM 1041 Views
My opinion ... Nate - 12/02/2013 01:21:38 AM 973 Views
That's not really advice Dark Knight - 12/02/2013 01:28:42 AM 978 Views
Why is it obvious? Nate - 12/02/2013 01:42:26 AM 1000 Views
That's exactly what I'm looking for Dark Knight - 12/02/2013 02:11:51 AM 1161 Views
I don't know if that's realistic. Nate - 12/02/2013 05:46:48 AM 923 Views
Get therapy or get a divorce. Your wife deserves better than the person you're being now. *NM* Ghavrel - 12/02/2013 04:00:38 AM 518 Views
Careful you don't fall off that high horse Dark Knight - 12/02/2013 04:53:11 AM 1015 Views
You might try 4chan. Their morals seem more in line with the ones you're currently espousing. *NM* Ghavrel - 13/02/2013 09:29:04 AM 480 Views
What exactly did you want to hear? Dannymac - 12/02/2013 04:31:56 AM 879 Views
More holier-than-thou judgment. Great thanks. *NM* Dark Knight - 12/02/2013 04:50:36 AM 624 Views
Well, he's a pastor, so he probably is holier-than-thou. *NM* Aeryn - 12/02/2013 07:48:55 PM 493 Views
So what you wanted was a high five? Dannymac - 13/02/2013 04:21:57 PM 905 Views
role play. *NM* temeraire - 12/02/2013 04:41:07 AM 505 Views
I appreciate something other than judgment. Thank you! Dark Knight - 12/02/2013 04:51:56 AM 1002 Views
i was poly for a decade. maybe that's a thing to consider? opening your marriage for both of you? temeraire - 13/02/2013 05:12:06 AM 871 Views
If you don't have kids, then just leave the marriage or have an open relationship. *NM* Tom - 12/02/2013 05:19:27 AM 461 Views
You have 4 options A Deathwatch Guard - 12/02/2013 06:03:43 AM 906 Views
If it isn't about the sex then swinging really won't help *NM* random thoughts - 12/02/2013 12:55:27 PM 478 Views
Number one is not an option, it is a looming and growing disaster. Joel - 13/02/2013 02:57:19 PM 922 Views
So, you ask for advice, then get upset when you don't like it? MightyYT - 12/02/2013 06:04:07 AM 909 Views
I'm not sure there's enough context to offer much useful advice, but I'd line up incentives Isaac - 12/02/2013 08:29:41 AM 997 Views
It's probably the way you phrased it. Rebekah - 12/02/2013 08:41:06 AM 1117 Views
find another passion random thoughts - 12/02/2013 01:01:10 PM 884 Views
I don't judge you. I am exactly the same way. ironclad - 12/02/2013 01:56:58 PM 1072 Views
I don't give a shit about polyamory. I give a shit about honesty. Ghavrel - 13/02/2013 09:26:56 AM 918 Views
That's why I told him it's not okay, if he is lying to her. *NM* ironclad - 13/02/2013 10:00:04 AM 483 Views
That was kind of my take. Joel - 13/02/2013 02:53:05 PM 1133 Views
I get where you're coming from Orange - 12/02/2013 01:57:48 PM 1000 Views
Here is my advice. callandor1000 - 12/02/2013 03:49:55 PM 1183 Views
Well said. Joel - 13/02/2013 03:16:13 PM 900 Views
LOL Dragonsoul - 12/02/2013 03:54:46 PM 935 Views
Nice choice of words, there ironclad - 12/02/2013 04:04:15 PM 963 Views
I don't know if I agree that you should talk to her about this. Sareitha Sedai - 12/02/2013 04:30:14 PM 1055 Views
If walking the line is the thrill, then keep walking the line. Aeryn - 12/02/2013 07:44:59 PM 1073 Views
Seeing your edit, I'm not sure you'll read this.... Jeordam - 12/02/2013 11:20:46 PM 977 Views
The thrill of the chase ßelals Girl - 13/02/2013 02:38:59 PM 939 Views
Do you want help making a decision, or validation of one already made? Joel - 13/02/2013 02:47:59 PM 975 Views
Hehe, love that things are pretty much the same around here. *NM* Nefarious - 14/02/2013 12:29:56 AM 499 Views
I feel sorry for you *NM* Yunalesca - 14/02/2013 01:10:10 AM 543 Views
Best thing you can do is travel around and stay in hostels Sports_Gambler - 14/02/2013 02:24:50 AM 947 Views
Be open to your wife about how you feel. Timthetrolloc - 14/02/2013 10:24:13 PM 831 Views
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