This whole dating thing is difficult. So I'm working on my list of dating dealbreakers...

*Having a wife

*Having a fiance

*Having grandchildren (It may be shallow, but it creeps me out.)

*Being too young to legally drink

*Striking up a conversation with the words "Hey, wanna be friends with benefits?" (Look, it's not that I'm necessarily opposed to that kind of arrangement, it just seems to require a friendship to pre-exist. Why not just ask for no strings sex?)

*Asking to have the relationship defined before actually going out on a single date (Can I decide if I like you or not first??)

*Being shorter than me (Once again, it's shallow. But I'm okay with not wanting to date someone on eye level with my breasts.)

*Using the words "bull semen" on the first date. Over dinner.

*Inviting me to move in with you after the third date (That cannot be normal behavior!)

*Giving a postcoital sermon (Look, I'm glad you found Jesus and all, but I wasn't looking for him. Especially here. Yes, I know I called out his name, but that's just cause I couldn't remember yours...)

So anybody have any words of advice or encouragement? Maybe other red flags to looks for?

Edit:

*Having served time in prison for assault on a female (That was an important one! How'd I forget that??)