All the responses have been very helpful. It's true that the mixed signals I've sending couldn't be helpful. I don't want to "just have fun." And I am taking seriously the negative things I'm learning about him. To counter Sareitha, I've just found out and what I'm doing here is precisely debating whether to cut him loose - I've decided not to. The pull is emotional as well as physical, a feel of a kindred soul. So I decided to take it slow. Get to know him in public well-lit places. See if he could be kind, loyal, reliable, trustworthy, to find out if our moral values are compatible.