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If they're not close enough to invite to the reception, are they really needed at the ceremony? Vivien Send a noteboard - 15/12/2011 08:18:18 PM
Another thing: are their invitations different- is there any indication that they're not going to be invited to a dinner? For one thing, they should be told so that they eat beforehand and for another thing, wouldn't it affect their expected gift obligation?

But if it's normal in NZ I amagine people are used to it and act accordingly, I'm just kind of curious how it all works out.

Invite everyone you want to the service and provide finger-food refreshments afterwards. This way all the people you want to be there, as well as those who are less close, can share the ceremony with you.

Then the closest people - relations of a certain age, special relations, close friends, etc - are invited to an evening dinner, maybe with a dance afterwards.

Some people will invite a select few for dinner, and then do the rest of the above, inviting everyone to a dance with a cash bar. That's quite normal in NZ, actually. Most weddings I've been to do something like that.
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So it turns out that weddings are expensive... Dannymac - 12/12/2011 04:24:17 PM 1756 Views
I am looking to drop about a grand on my son's rehearsal dinner *NM* random thoughts - 12/12/2011 04:42:53 PM 453 Views
Well, part of it is that the rehearsal dinner isn't on the $5k budget. Dannymac - 12/12/2011 04:46:30 PM 753 Views
It is avoidable, but people will treat you like you're a nutcase if you don't do most of the things nossy - 12/12/2011 05:02:14 PM 795 Views
my first wedding was in church with a pretty dress and a preacher random thoughts - 12/12/2011 06:12:02 PM 739 Views
We had a pretty dress and a notary public in the courtyard of the B&B. nossy - 12/12/2011 09:36:52 PM 781 Views
If I had it to all over again I would have formed a Rock Band and dated supermodels *NM* random thoughts - 13/12/2011 04:20:28 PM 421 Views
*NM* TaskmasterJack - 22/12/2011 10:15:04 PM 422 Views
Heh. Nate - 12/12/2011 05:29:19 PM 854 Views
Re: Heh. Macharius - 12/12/2011 06:02:44 PM 761 Views
Re: Heh. Nate - 12/12/2011 06:44:30 PM 918 Views
Re: Heh. Macharius - 12/12/2011 07:27:16 PM 858 Views
We kept it to about $5000 also (including cost of rings). Macharius - 12/12/2011 06:06:54 PM 818 Views
I would say our wedding was about that. Lici - 12/12/2011 06:45:46 PM 981 Views
I feel like they only have to be expensive if you let them be. LadyLorraine - 12/12/2011 07:07:59 PM 845 Views
I got married two weeks ago for less than that. Aemon - 12/12/2011 09:56:43 PM 904 Views
Congrats Sareitha Sedai - 12/12/2011 10:03:35 PM 747 Views
Thanks! Aemon - 13/12/2011 02:53:11 PM 752 Views
You've been holding out on us. Congratulations. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 13/12/2011 12:02:39 AM 472 Views
Honestly, I didn't think anyone would care. Aemon - 13/12/2011 03:08:44 PM 729 Views
Hey! No announcement??? Congratulations and may you find many years of happiness! *NM* everynametaken - 13/12/2011 03:27:51 AM 497 Views
No, no announcement. I'm not really the center-of-attention type. haha Thanks though! *NM* Aemon - 13/12/2011 03:10:29 PM 425 Views
Congratulations, my friend. Jacob - 13/12/2011 03:21:22 PM 685 Views
Thanks. Aemon - 13/12/2011 06:38:59 PM 799 Views
Acceptable... Jacob - 13/12/2011 06:40:29 PM 743 Views
OMG! Congratulations! Danu - 14/12/2011 10:43:05 PM 735 Views
Thanks Danu. *NM* Aemon - 15/12/2011 11:08:51 PM 426 Views
i had 500 people at my wedding....... Aisha - 13/12/2011 12:05:38 AM 914 Views
Everybody I have ever talked to that had a big, expensive wedding has told me that in hindsight... everynametaken - 13/12/2011 03:29:34 AM 701 Views
Yes they are. We're planning ours and... callandor1000 - 13/12/2011 02:19:42 AM 793 Views
Some people just don't seem to think outside of the box ironclad - 13/12/2011 09:15:49 AM 877 Views
And several items on that chart are soo unnecessary *NM* ironclad - 13/12/2011 09:41:10 AM 448 Views
They're only as expensive as you make them. Tim - 14/12/2011 10:38:37 AM 716 Views
I'm so glad we went simple. Kaldric - 14/12/2011 03:08:45 PM 870 Views
As someone who had a smaller wedding than was expected by certain people... Danu - 14/12/2011 10:36:57 PM 832 Views
These seem kind of extreme. Vivien - 15/12/2011 06:03:15 AM 860 Views
because of your history you might find a cash bar lame... LadyLorraine - 15/12/2011 12:59:39 PM 892 Views
Not my personal history, but culture. Vivien - 15/12/2011 03:53:12 PM 852 Views
I agree that there are better cuts to make than refreshments LadyLorraine - 15/12/2011 04:35:13 PM 844 Views
Re: because of your history you might find a cash bar lame... callandor1000 - 22/12/2011 01:08:00 PM 861 Views
Yeah, and that's why Russians are all dying of alcoholism. *NM* Macharius - 15/12/2011 01:46:52 PM 459 Views
You don't have to be an alcoholic to prefer not to have a cash bar at a party. Vivien - 15/12/2011 03:37:15 PM 754 Views
It is lame to expect the father of the bride to shell out tens of thousands for a party random thoughts - 15/12/2011 02:00:54 PM 850 Views
seriously. who cares if people think you're "cheap". LadyLorraine - 15/12/2011 04:41:33 PM 762 Views
What my family tends to do (because it's huge) is this: Rebekah - 15/12/2011 02:16:31 PM 896 Views
That's what most German weddings do too. Reasonable. *NM* ironclad - 15/12/2011 03:38:40 PM 420 Views
If they're not close enough to invite to the reception, are they really needed at the ceremony? Vivien - 15/12/2011 08:18:18 PM 861 Views
In most cases, a church ceremony tends to be an open thing. Anyone can come. Rebekah - 15/12/2011 10:11:30 PM 881 Views
Apparently it's becoming more common over here to do weddings on a weekday. Rebekah - 15/12/2011 02:13:57 PM 757 Views
I can't imagine someone in America announcing their wedding was on a weekday. TaskmasterJack - 15/12/2011 10:07:55 PM 983 Views
People not in America have way more vacation days... *NM* Vivien - 15/12/2011 11:56:22 PM 418 Views
That was part of the logic in my thinking, yes. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 16/12/2011 12:46:53 AM 402 Views
Fridays are actually becoming more common. Sareitha Sedai - 16/12/2011 04:51:41 PM 694 Views
Why does the band get more than the photographer? Amyrlin - 16/12/2011 04:30:29 PM 658 Views
well they do have to split it 4 or 5 ways random thoughts - 16/12/2011 04:38:36 PM 753 Views
The thing is... it's NOT a night's work. Amyrlin - 16/12/2011 09:27:30 PM 1048 Views
Because if you put tiny plastic musical instruments on all the tables, your ears will bleed out. TaskmasterJack - 16/12/2011 10:04:59 PM 1102 Views
My advice based on what I've done so far. callandor1000 - 22/12/2011 01:27:29 PM 718 Views
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