The thing you have to understand about a badger is that you can never, ever tell when they are drunk.

Oh, you can try. You can make 'em walk a line. You can make a crack about their sister and see how they take it. Hell, you could even make 'em blow a breathalyzer, though I've not yet met the man as survived the attempt.

The only way to really know a badger's mind is to look into its eyes. It'll lock you. Deep. It will stare back into you so deeply that if you are truly your own master, you can feel its reflection upon your soul. From this one self you must struggle to parse what is not you, and whatever is left must therefore be badger. When you realize that all that remains is madness, your jaw cracking from laughter that you can not stop, you will have understood. Drunk? The badger is so much more than drunk.

Or maybe that's just me.