I don't even know why I'm bothering to explain myself, but it's like a guy can't even devise a trebuchet to fire electric lobsters without you people making a fuss, so fine, whatever. And it's not like I even punched the panda cub that hard. What was I supposed to do, let him eat all the bamboo? Yeah, then the plant-fueled Eco Reaper 5000 would have worked just dandy, wouldn't it? This is green frigging energy, people. And that panda was a wuss.
But you know what, I don't even care. Seriously. You can send me all the angry noteboards you want about the morality of training fleas to kill, but it doesn't change the fact that they are goddamn effective. This is science. Science. All right? Nobody got on Edison's case when he blew up an elephant. He stole that from me, by the way.
And I guess your delicate lacy sensitivities were somehow damaged when I baked that cake made entirely of spiders, and sure, I know not everyone is okay with spiders, but look at the big picture here. The big picture is that there is a cake. And it's made of spiders. Are we clear now?
A guy starts to feel unappreciated. Do you know how much work it took to build a cyborg bear? It was a whole bloody weekend, and you don't even care. It's not even my fault that it hates all life and has a taste for the flesh of man. I mean, I told mapthis not to stand so close. There was a sign. I was never convicted of anything.
But whatever. Just, whatever, okay? You don't want me to program babies to fly and shoot lasers from their eyes, then I guess you can just live in a world where babies are chained to the ground like animals, unable to defend themselves. Is that really a world you want to live in?
I'm not recalling the giant two-headed tiger though. It's the principle of the thing. Plus I don't know how to kill it, stop it, or even teach it the meaning of fear. So I guess that's your problem now, and don't come begging me for help because you won't get it.
Come on, rocket powered moon dog. Let's blow this popsicle stand.
(Seriously, you guys should stand back. Ice shrapnel is a bitch.)
But you know what, I don't even care. Seriously. You can send me all the angry noteboards you want about the morality of training fleas to kill, but it doesn't change the fact that they are goddamn effective. This is science. Science. All right? Nobody got on Edison's case when he blew up an elephant. He stole that from me, by the way.
And I guess your delicate lacy sensitivities were somehow damaged when I baked that cake made entirely of spiders, and sure, I know not everyone is okay with spiders, but look at the big picture here. The big picture is that there is a cake. And it's made of spiders. Are we clear now?
A guy starts to feel unappreciated. Do you know how much work it took to build a cyborg bear? It was a whole bloody weekend, and you don't even care. It's not even my fault that it hates all life and has a taste for the flesh of man. I mean, I told mapthis not to stand so close. There was a sign. I was never convicted of anything.
But whatever. Just, whatever, okay? You don't want me to program babies to fly and shoot lasers from their eyes, then I guess you can just live in a world where babies are chained to the ground like animals, unable to defend themselves. Is that really a world you want to live in?
I'm not recalling the giant two-headed tiger though. It's the principle of the thing. Plus I don't know how to kill it, stop it, or even teach it the meaning of fear. So I guess that's your problem now, and don't come begging me for help because you won't get it.
Come on, rocket powered moon dog. Let's blow this popsicle stand.
(Seriously, you guys should stand back. Ice shrapnel is a bitch.)
Warder to starry_nite
Chapterfish — Nate's Writing Blog
http://chapterfish.wordpress.com
Chapterfish — Nate's Writing Blog
http://chapterfish.wordpress.com
This message last edited by Nate on 08/07/2011 at 01:46:24 PM
Look, I thought the badger was drunk, okay?
- 07/07/2011 06:58:36 PM
824 Views
Amy needs to get in line
- 07/07/2011 09:36:58 PM
477 Views
I can fix that, you know.
- 07/07/2011 09:54:53 PM
517 Views
Re: I can fix that, you know.
- 07/07/2011 10:02:31 PM
474 Views
There was a discussion at work about buying a personal one-man helicopter for funsies.
- 08/07/2011 01:47:26 AM
458 Views
~takes notes~
- 08/07/2011 01:53:09 AM
476 Views
Wait, moondog is rocket powered now?
- 08/07/2011 03:28:33 PM
445 Views
Another satisfied customer!
- 08/07/2011 08:26:12 PM
453 Views
I'm under court order not to send any more gifts from the Christmas catalog. 
- 09/07/2011 11:43:42 AM
777 Views
- 09/07/2011 11:43:42 AM
777 Views
I have read this a few times and I don't buy it!
- 08/07/2011 08:36:15 PM
448 Views
- 08/07/2011 08:36:15 PM
448 Views
It's people like you who make people like me make people like Igor.
- 08/07/2011 08:56:37 PM
465 Views
Tsk. A whole weekend to build a cybearg.
- 08/07/2011 10:17:54 PM
528 Views
Who ... who let this fraud in my post?
- 08/07/2011 10:48:04 PM
509 Views
I've been telling you for years that morality and science are separate things.
- 08/07/2011 10:52:32 PM
446 Views
You might be interested in my Bionic Cream.
- 08/07/2011 11:06:46 PM
473 Views
If Obsidian Ashaman doesn't show up to reply to this, I'm going to be disappointed.
- 10/07/2011 07:56:23 PM
545 Views
You can do all that and more with the Personal Redislocater Orientation Device (PROD).
- 11/07/2011 03:46:02 PM
455 Views
Re: You can do all that and more with the Personal Redislocater Orientation Device (PROD).
- 12/07/2011 01:01:32 AM
455 Views
Problem: you used a drunk badger, when you should have gone with a hungry wolverine.
- 11/07/2011 05:06:50 PM
448 Views