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Having a need isn't the same thing as being needy. globug0822 Send a noteboard - 30/06/2011 02:49:12 AM


Nothing to do with insecurity. Some people need to be looked at and admired, or just paid attention to. Doesn't even matter if it's romantic. Even if I'm spending time with someone totally platonically, if someone's not looking at me it's going to bother me. I've even made comments to a few people on non emergency cell phone use when one has the option of interacting with a real live person.



I couldn't tell if you were doing one of those things where you were so blatant it was hard to tell if you're being sarcastic. But basically, "some people just need to be constantly paid attention to," (and that is what this is, constant- the OP says this happens whenever they're out, it's not a one time thing) is essentially the definition of needy and insecure.



I definitely agree that dialing up the obvious checking-her-out might be a good idea, and calm her insecurities (plus, it can be fun- I have nothing against PDAs). But in order to calm her insecurities, let's admit that yes, this girl does seem to have them.


And just to make it snarky:

needy |ˈnēdē|
adjective ( needier , neediest )
(of a person) lacking the necessities of life; very poor : needy and elderly people.
• (of circumstances) characterized by poverty : those from needy backgrounds.

insecure |ˌinsiˈkyoŏr|
adjective
1 (of a person) not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious : a top model who is notoriously insecure about her looks | a rather gauche, insecure young man.


Just because a person is insecure and has a deficiency in something they need doesn't make them bad or unworthy. Just because she constantly does it when they are out doesn't mean she needs attention constantly. When you have a deficiency it just grows worse and worse until you get caught up.

I am not saying that you SAID that she was unworthy, necessarily, but you and most of the people in this thread are implying just that.

She needs attention and doesn't know how to ask for it, I expect. It's not like there is a "I am not having my needs met for Dummies"... unless there is, in which case someone should buy it for her.


:P
~g~

*MySmiley*
CrazedWeasel
"Do not waste time bothering whether you "love" your neighbor; act as if you did...When you are behaving as if you loved someone you will presently come to love him."-- C. S. Lewis
NEEDS!
This message last edited by globug0822 on 30/06/2011 at 02:49:29 AM
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My girlfriend is insane Postsecret - 29/06/2011 03:49:38 PM 1409 Views
I doubt she's trying to push you away. She's just that needy and insecure. Sareitha Sedai - 29/06/2011 03:57:14 PM 557 Views
Is this just a rant or do you want advice? *NM* Palatine - 29/06/2011 03:59:37 PM 284 Views
Sounds to me ... Nate - 29/06/2011 04:08:07 PM 723 Views
Nate is advocating a calm, reasonable approach. Tashmere - 29/06/2011 11:55:54 PM 577 Views
You need to have a very serious discussion about this with her Wulf`gar - 29/06/2011 04:53:37 PM 620 Views
Run. Amyrlin - 29/06/2011 05:28:38 PM 615 Views
I'm with Amy... Run! Isaac - 29/06/2011 05:52:08 PM 589 Views
If she's worth it in other ways, I wouldn't run. nossy - 29/06/2011 05:58:46 PM 658 Views
You are too weak. PUA theory says do the total opposite of what common sense tells you Sports_Gambler - 29/06/2011 06:03:09 PM 684 Views
Don't apply pua to a long term relationship... Helene - 29/06/2011 06:11:36 PM 678 Views
It should work here too Sports_Gambler - 29/06/2011 06:25:23 PM 655 Views
Seriously, stop buying into pua Helene - 29/06/2011 06:41:56 PM 574 Views
Honestly, check into her for cheating. Dragonsoul - 29/06/2011 06:13:15 PM 750 Views
Agreed. Crazy ol Lews Therin - 29/06/2011 06:21:06 PM 574 Views
This is a possibility. *NM* Tashmere - 29/06/2011 11:49:03 PM 239 Views
A possibility. *NM* everynametaken - 30/06/2011 04:53:03 AM 239 Views
How old are you both? Helene - 29/06/2011 06:20:02 PM 568 Views
Dump her. Tell her you never were interested in others, but now are due to her constant nagging. *NM* Tom - 29/06/2011 06:27:59 PM 257 Views
"Baby, you were so insistent when I wasn't doing it that I thought you wanted me too!" MightyYT - 29/06/2011 06:32:48 PM 550 Views
I agree. I know it would push me away. *NM* ironclad - 29/06/2011 10:40:13 PM 277 Views
That sounds so callous. But it is what I would do. I think that someone could get away with calling Tashmere - 29/06/2011 11:51:43 PM 570 Views
When someone complains about a gf/bf, when is it not the consensus that the relationship should end? Vivien - 30/06/2011 12:13:28 AM 541 Views
I am glad you called me on that. I was wrong to jump to jump on the "dump her" bandwagon Tashmere - 30/06/2011 03:46:24 AM 681 Views
Insane chicks are hot...for an hour at a time. Tigr - 29/06/2011 07:05:50 PM 603 Views
Decide which part of the Crazy/Hot Scale she is on... MightyYT - 29/06/2011 08:37:37 PM 608 Views
I agree with what Nate said ßelals Girl - 29/06/2011 07:53:27 PM 576 Views
Does that mean you're getting her a premie? Joel - 29/06/2011 09:03:18 PM 647 Views
It's just an annoyed rant! Unlikely she's as insane as the consensus in the thread. Vivien - 29/06/2011 09:11:45 PM 666 Views
Ogle her constantly. Dannymac - 29/06/2011 09:21:41 PM 652 Views
^ Danny and Vivien potentially have a point. Nate - 29/06/2011 11:00:41 PM 692 Views
That's right! Vivien - 30/06/2011 12:04:49 AM 603 Views
That's incredibly insecure and needy. Just... just so you know. beetnemesis - 30/06/2011 12:10:50 AM 524 Views
I did not use the word constant. Vivien - 30/06/2011 12:36:29 AM 590 Views
*shrug* I'm just saying beetnemesis - 30/06/2011 01:45:49 AM 530 Views
Having a need isn't the same thing as being needy. globug0822 - 30/06/2011 02:49:12 AM 678 Views
Yeah, I'm not trying to say (either of them) are bad people beetnemesis - 30/06/2011 03:33:59 AM 529 Views
Yes ironclad - 30/06/2011 05:16:23 PM 630 Views
Buy sunglasses. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 30/06/2011 12:36:31 AM 272 Views
The man with the practical advice out of left field while everyone else is arguing at home base. *NM* Vivien - 30/06/2011 01:41:12 AM 277 Views
*NM* Fox and Ravens - 30/06/2011 01:53:13 AM 278 Views
Re: There's no telling if... Gaps - 30/06/2011 02:11:27 AM 563 Views
Somebody I talked to brought up a valid possibility that I didn't know existed. I was wrong to jump Tashmere - 30/06/2011 03:41:53 AM 562 Views
Good point--those things really screw up some women and different ones have different effects *NM* Wulf`gar - 30/06/2011 01:53:44 PM 261 Views
I can't use them. They turn me into the Mega Bitch. Beqi - 30/06/2011 08:21:17 PM 1032 Views
You are wise. Two Wongs - 04/07/2011 12:02:35 PM 930 Views
Tell her you're gay so she doesn't need to worry about you seeming to check them out. snoopcester - 30/06/2011 11:30:03 AM 592 Views
We're all just a little bit insane. Kel - 30/06/2011 05:20:22 PM 546 Views
Insecurity is not fatal. She needs to feel better about herself. Beqi - 30/06/2011 08:19:19 PM 539 Views
If you've had the DISCUSSION, and she's still nagging you...I'd find it annoying. *NM* StarrBecca - 01/07/2011 05:50:00 AM 261 Views
Tell her every thing you said here emphasis the last sentence Danu - 04/07/2011 01:38:43 AM 602 Views
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