I don't exactly expect to influence your opinion, just to voice my own. - Edit 1
Before modification by Helene at 13/06/2011 10:41:44 PM
Your opinion seems pretty set anyway. It would be weird if a post on an internet forum could change it.
I can tell from your expectations of women, that yes, American women will be less likely to fit in with what you are looking for.
I understand that you base your world view on your own experiences, but I would have thought that you would at least have a level of awareness that you and your friends are not exactly representative of mankind.
The self selected group you just described probably holds those views. But that's hardly statistically relevant.
You blamed porn addiction on American women, and call me out on maturity?
He got married to her without ever receiving oral sex, and then expected to get oral sex after marriage? I'm not getting enough details here to be able to comment. I don't know why she doesn't want to either get or give (which is it?) oral sex.
Was she very different before marriage? Again, not enough information to be able to tell how things were before and after, and if things have changed, why.
Sounds like a smart plan.
To be sure, I know you can find plenty of women who won't perform oral sex all over the world, as well as women who don't want to have sex more than once a month, or that play games about sex.
E.g. my fiance often comments about the sexual relationships of his colleagues at work, and how they're not getting as much as they used to, how this woman doesn't want to do that, etc. etc. How it all becomes less after a while.
The thing is, a satisfying long term sexual relationship requires a mutual commitment to wanting to make your partner feel desirable. A good way to show this is by appreciating your partner, by letting them know verbally, emotionally, physically, that you find them attractive. That way, you create a positive spiral that will improve your sexual connection over time, instead of it tapering out.
Of course, I only speak from 6 years experience, but so far, so good.
(edit was typo)
I can tell from your expectations of women, that yes, American women will be less likely to fit in with what you are looking for.
You make a stupid catty remark and expect that it somehow influences peoples' opinions? I was pointing out a very valid and nearly universally held conviction.
I understand that you base your world view on your own experiences, but I would have thought that you would at least have a level of awareness that you and your friends are not exactly representative of mankind.
None of my European friends would even consider wasting their time dating an American girl (unless they need a green card for some reason), and nearly all of my American friends profess a preference for European women over Americans (the remainder are crazy about Asians). You can try to laugh it off all you want, but it doesn't change the way things are.
The self selected group you just described probably holds those views. But that's hardly statistically relevant.
If you actually are going to be mature enough to have a serious conversation about the topic, I will let you comment on a few relationships that come to mind in this department.
You blamed porn addiction on American women, and call me out on maturity?
1. College friend, American, works in the South (let's call him Joe). Joe works in real estate and makes good money. He can cook and is a neat freak (and I always thought I was until I met him). He is well-dressed, well-spoken and courteous. He married a woman who is a medical worker of some sort (but not a doctor). They have been married for 4 years and she refuses to even have oral sex. We, his friends, say that he should have divorced her immediately on finding this out. He has been appreciative, both inside and outside the bedroom, and there is no reason why she should be like this.
He got married to her without ever receiving oral sex, and then expected to get oral sex after marriage? I'm not getting enough details here to be able to comment. I don't know why she doesn't want to either get or give (which is it?) oral sex.
2. Law school friend, American, works in NY (let's call him Bill). Bill is a lawyer married to another lawyer and makes good money. Bill has been married for two years and gets sex about once a month, tops, and then it is only missionary position. Nothing other than vaginal intercourse. We, his friends, are very very sad for him. Since his wife is a lawyer the divorce would be absolute hell but since they don't have kids it shouldn't be as difficult. Obviously it would be expensive and nasty.
Was she very different before marriage? Again, not enough information to be able to tell how things were before and after, and if things have changed, why.
3. Friend in the city, works in NY, dated American girl recently (let's call him Dave). Dave has a small business and recently dated an American girl. He quickly stopped dating her because she was playing games about not having sex and he didn't have time to waste on that.
Sounds like a smart plan.
To be sure, I know you can find plenty of women who won't perform oral sex all over the world, as well as women who don't want to have sex more than once a month, or that play games about sex.
E.g. my fiance often comments about the sexual relationships of his colleagues at work, and how they're not getting as much as they used to, how this woman doesn't want to do that, etc. etc. How it all becomes less after a while.
The thing is, a satisfying long term sexual relationship requires a mutual commitment to wanting to make your partner feel desirable. A good way to show this is by appreciating your partner, by letting them know verbally, emotionally, physically, that you find them attractive. That way, you create a positive spiral that will improve your sexual connection over time, instead of it tapering out.
Of course, I only speak from 6 years experience, but so far, so good.
(edit was typo)