This page stopped an alien invasion with glass of water in X seconds. *NM*
Burr Send a noteboard - 21/09/2009 04:59:05 PM
Now that I have internets again, I've gone around and updated bits and bobs around the site. One of the things I added was a page load time bit at the bottom of every page.
At the moment it's just a boring "This page was generated in 5 million seconds" type thing, so what I need from everyone is suggestions for slightly more witty sentances.
What I'm looking for is references to all Sci-Fi & Fantasy literature (not just WoT, so don't resubmit all the old ones from wotmania
) as well as related TV shows and movies.
Leave your suggestions as replies to this thread (please don't NB them to me!), and at some point in the next few weeks I'll gather them together, whip them into shape and get them on the site!
Let's see what you've got, then!
At the moment it's just a boring "This page was generated in 5 million seconds" type thing, so what I need from everyone is suggestions for slightly more witty sentances.
What I'm looking for is references to all Sci-Fi & Fantasy literature (not just WoT, so don't resubmit all the old ones from wotmania
) as well as related TV shows and movies.Leave your suggestions as replies to this thread (please don't NB them to me!), and at some point in the next few weeks I'll gather them together, whip them into shape and get them on the site!
Let's see what you've got, then!
||||||||||*MySmiley*
Only so evil.
Only so evil.
Page load time suggestions
- 20/09/2009 09:37:49 PM
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This thread is omnipresent across all the boards. 
- 20/09/2009 09:47:57 PM
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- 20/09/2009 09:47:57 PM
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Ah, feck.
- 20/09/2009 09:50:44 PM
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Fixed 
- 20/09/2009 09:58:29 PM
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- 20/09/2009 09:58:29 PM
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But!
- 20/09/2009 10:11:52 PM
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test *NM*
- 20/09/2009 10:12:42 PM
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Nope.
- 20/09/2009 10:14:14 PM
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- 20/09/2009 10:14:14 PM
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Yeah. It's a CMB post that's simply visible from all boards.
- 20/09/2009 10:29:42 PM
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this page calculated the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything in x
- 21/09/2009 02:09:48 AM
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this page calculated the Question to the Ultimate Answer of Life, the Universe and Everything in x
- 21/09/2009 02:10:09 AM
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This page is X seconds faster than TMJ making a quip about MGB and/or Antonio Banderas *NM*
- 20/09/2009 09:57:19 PM
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Steven Erikson made this page an amateur philosopher in X seconds. *NM*
- 20/09/2009 10:35:13 PM
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This page predicts the ending of Lost in X seconds
- 20/09/2009 11:09:55 PM
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This page was held in a trance by the One Ring for x seconds *NM*
- 20/09/2009 11:34:17 PM
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This page was stuck for x seconds while Captain Kirk made a dramatic pause. *NM*
- 20/09/2009 11:37:21 PM
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The Man in Black fled across the desert, and this page followed for X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:10:00 AM
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This page made the Kessel Run in ___ seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:25:32 AM
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This page swears by it's pretty blue bonnet that it will end you in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:27:19 AM
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floral! floral bonnet! *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:52:50 AM
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Blue bonnets are flowers; does that help...?
- 21/09/2009 05:32:28 PM
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This page sent the "We're Pathetic. Don't Shoot" message in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:28:41 AM
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Bender looked at this page for X seconds before laughing maniacally *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:32:32 AM
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This page wants to go to the planet where it's a hero in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:33:39 AM
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This page betrayed all the others to the White Witch for candy in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 01:56:01 AM
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this page saved a bunch of money on its insurance in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:13:24 AM
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The Balrog passed this page in x seconds.
- 21/09/2009 02:34:03 AM
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This page won the Quidditch House Cup in x seconds. More inside this and my quoted post.
- 21/09/2009 02:59:39 AM
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Read and Find Out in x seconds. More inside, and inside my previous ones.
- 21/09/2009 03:14:57 AM
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Actually, Read and Find out doesn't really work. What works is...
- 21/09/2009 09:54:44 PM
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This page threw itself at the ground and missed in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:51:46 AM
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This page is from X seconds in the future, and it's here to kill you. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:02:15 AM
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This page was confused by an episode of Lost after X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:08:09 AM
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This page had elves for X seconds and is no longer considered literary fiction. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:11:46 AM
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This page will reverse the polarity in X seconds. That should fix everything. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:55:02 AM
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This page killed three kobolds and a bugbear for X experience. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:57:08 AM
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That's thirty minutes away. This page will be there in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:27:48 AM
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This page wrote Jar Jar/Predator fiction for X seconds. That's why Google linked you here. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:37:48 AM
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This page killed Sylar three times in X seconds. Now they're working together. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:46:23 AM
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This page spent the last X seconds eating dwarf bread. Best just leave it alone. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:05:25 AM
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This Page was plown to peices by (insert Moranth munition here) in xx seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:05:27 AM
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This page used Feruchemy to get here in X seconds. That's a whole year of dial-up wasted. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:13:56 AM
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*NM*
This page channeled the ghost of Alan Turing for X seconds, but only a lonely chatbot noticed. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:27:47 AM
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You just Quantum Leaped in --- seconds??? Something to do witht hat show. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:32:42 AM
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This page complained about the time/date format in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:43:08 AM
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This page travelled at warp around the sun and went to 1986 for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:04:51 AM
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This page was "a harmony of mathematical precision" for x seconds
- 21/09/2009 10:12:45 AM
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This page became the Emporer's Apprentice in X seconds. Still not as fast as Anakin. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:13:28 AM
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This page headed Southeast on Baka Laka Daka Street for X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:15:08 AM
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This page wresteld a Wookie for X seconds. Then lost it's arms. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:20:09 AM
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This page took X seconds to make Marvin want to kill himself. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:07:39 AM
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This page was created by the Heart of Gold's Infinite Probability Drive in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:46:38 AM
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This page lasted X seconds before passing out after drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:47:41 AM
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This page was eaten by a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:53:10 AM
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This page looked into the Total Perspective Vortex for X second before going crazy. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:58:42 AM
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This page got into a fight after X seconds in a bar on Unification Day. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:12:53 PM
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This page made God disappear in a puff of logic in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:25:21 PM
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This page was constructed by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 01:48:56 PM
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This page will explode if it loads slower than x seconds per hour *NM*
- 21/09/2009 01:56:49 PM
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When asked if it was a god, this page said 'yes' in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:38:46 PM
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This page considered her proposal for X seconds. For this page, that was an enternity. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:41:28 PM
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This page can show you the world, shinning, shimmering, and splendid in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:49:55 PM
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This page changed a rock for the sacred relic in X seconds...then ran from the huge boulder. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:51:17 PM
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This page was created on October the 24th, 4004 B.C. at 9 a.m. in just X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:52:39 PM
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This page revealed itself to Mulder for X seconds, but not Scully. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:56:02 PM
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Let's have some Goodkind ones, just for a laugh *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:14:40 PM
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*NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:14:40 PM
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This page expressed Gratch's love for Rich-arggg in X seconds *NM*
- 23/09/2009 02:58:12 PM
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This page only questioned Richard for X seconds. He's always right. *NM*
- 23/09/2009 03:13:02 PM
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This page watched the entire run of Stargate SG1 in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:18:04 PM
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Good news, everyone! I've invented a device that loaded this page in ... seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:53:34 PM
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*NM*
This page would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:11:46 PM
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This page took X seconds to skip reading Elayne's pregnancy chapters. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:14:10 PM
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This page was brought to life by a magical cupboard for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:30:03 PM
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This page balanced on the back of a giant turtle for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:39:33 PM
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This page grasped its cosmic insignificance and went mad in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:45:20 PM
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This page has not finished loading yet. Don't click anything. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:53:02 PM
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This page spread chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:55:35 PM
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This page found out everything there is to know about the D man in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:58:19 PM
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This page stopped an alien invasion with glass of water in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:59:05 PM
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This page spent billions on a Vegan launch pad so it could talk to its dead father for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:04:28 PM
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This page cursed those filthy, fat, stupid hobbitses for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:05:38 PM
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It took the Librarian X seconds to throw this page out of the Library. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:10:28 PM
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This page was betrayed by Jayne Cobb and spent X seconds loading in a box on Canton. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:18:33 PM
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This page can kill you with its brain in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:19:13 PM
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Drizzt managed to slash this page 412 times before it finished loading. He felt really bad about it. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:20:06 PM
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This page disbelieved the reality of this site for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:22:01 PM
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1 green and 3 colorless mana were tapped to summon this page. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:22:53 PM
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It took x seconds for this page to sniff and pull its' braid. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:37:43 PM
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This page came from a world where Napolean clones killed Hitler in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:49:24 PM
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This page smoked me a kipper and will be back for breakfast in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:59:57 PM
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This page hit you with a major leaflet campaign in x seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:00:48 PM
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This page found out where all the calculators would go in x seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:01:37 PM
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This page has an IQ of x seconds. That is the same IQ as x PE teachers. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:03:14 PM
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It took the Torchwood writers x seconds to kill the entire cast of this page. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:04:57 PM
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Samuel Vimes turned this page into Lawful Good in x seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:06:59 PM
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Mr Universe intercepted an X second data stream about this page. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:22:29 PM
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This page was so long that Brandon Sanderson split it into X parts. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:55:41 PM
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This page defeated six blademasters in X seconds... eat that, Rand al`Thor! *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:57:48 PM
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This page crackled and exploded out of stone sleep in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:22:42 PM
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This page revealed it's true nature with the Eye of Odin in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:24:19 PM
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This page manipulated Brooklyn into stealing the Grimorium Arcanorum in X secconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:26:19 PM
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This page wiped out the entire Formic race in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:24:57 PM
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For X seconds this page pondered that time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:25:56 PM
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This page called upon Crom to grant it victory over its enemies for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:26:28 PM
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This page's brilliance astonished even itself for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:27:03 PM
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This page failed to find any intelligent life for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:27:31 PM
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Look, this page doesn't like to say "I told you so", but it told you so X seconds ago. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:28:06 PM
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All your base are belong to this page for the next X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:34:23 PM
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While this page loaded in x seconds, Griffith sacrificed his comrades to become Femto *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:03:42 PM
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Azathoth destroys the world in the x seconds it took to load this page *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:09:07 PM
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The Triforce granted this page the wish to load in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:12:08 PM
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Thank you for pressing the self-destruct button. Your computer will self-destruct in exactly X
- 21/09/2009 08:47:37 PM
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This page couldn't figure out where Demandred is for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:50:47 PM
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This page found out the hard way that resistance is futile for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:54:50 PM
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This page pulled the Sword of Gryffondor from the Sorting Hate in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:58:48 PM
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D'argo and Chiana had fantastic sex on this page for X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:00:44 PM
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Rygel the XVI, Dominar to over 6 billion subjects, ate this page in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:01:35 PM
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This page put down a Goodkind book after X seconds of reading. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:03:39 PM
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Dan Brown tied this page to an ancient conspiracy in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:04:53 PM
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Jedi mind tricks didn't work on this page for X seconds. Only money. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:08:30 PM
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This page went to Tosche Station for power converters and back in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:28:20 PM
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This page held out its hand and found that it's quite cool for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:33:01 PM
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If you strike this page down, it shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:39:21 PM
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This is not the page you're looking for. You can go about your business. Move along, move along. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:41:48 PM
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This page looked like it was saying, "Kiss me, kiss me!" for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:42:42 PM
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Bob recalled this page in X seconds while reading a bawdy potboiler. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:58:31 PM
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This page started wailing the blues when the doctor whacked its bottom X seconds ago. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:10:59 AM
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This page consulted Dustin Hoffman on its existential concerns for X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:18:18 AM
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This page took photographic evidence of fairies seriously for X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:21:52 AM
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This page pit llamas against squirrels in a X-second deathmatch. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:36:18 AM
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This page converted all Martians to the Jesuit order in X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:37:57 AM
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This page toured the London Underground with a girl named Door for X seconds *NM*
- 22/09/2009 01:15:59 AM
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Fiver had a bad feeling about this page for X seconds *NM*
- 22/09/2009 01:22:35 AM
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Yes! 
I was trying to think of a Watership Down one. Awesome. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 04:41:00 AM
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I was trying to think of a Watership Down one. Awesome. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 04:41:00 AM
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For X seconds, this page was a germ, a rare disease, called "malagolintomontorosis." *NM*
- 22/09/2009 04:49:08 AM
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By loading in [x], looks like this page arrived just in the nick of time. What does that make it? *NM*
- 22/09/2009 01:42:46 AM
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How about "This page arrived in X seconds. What does that make it?" *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:24:49 AM
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Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her X seconds ago *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:16:32 AM
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Moist von Lipwig completely fixed this page up in X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:26:53 AM
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Some oldies: This page grokked you in X seconds; this page aligned the matrix tower in x seconds *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:29:00 AM
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oldies cont: this page jaunted in X seconds; this page assembled an ansible in x seconds *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:31:45 AM
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Jewell a Terafin saw this page coming X seconds before it arrived *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:33:08 AM
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This page was the bravest little hobbit of them all for X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 04:50:45 AM
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This page crossed the River Isen on Midsummer's Eve in X seconds, disguised as riders in black *NM*
- 22/09/2009 01:50:55 PM
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This page successfully froze time... but only for X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 07:12:19 PM
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This page was delayed by x seconds, it was trying to make sense of a sentence in Anathem. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 07:47:03 PM
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Tash managed x seconds before using Cleanandor™ on Samuel L. Jackson *NM*
- 22/09/2009 07:48:48 PM
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This page has been so worried it hasn't buffed its shoes in x days. *NM*
- 23/09/2009 12:49:16 PM
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Time [x seconds] is a great healer. Unless it's a rash, then you're better off with ointment. *NM*
- 23/09/2009 12:51:59 PM
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This page will rendevous with Rama in X seconds *NM*
- 24/09/2009 01:07:48 AM
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Great one. That is one of the best SF-novels ever. Behind Solaris.. *NM*
- 25/09/2009 10:23:28 PM
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This page sang that there are no cats in America and the streets are paved with cheese for X seconds *NM*
- 24/09/2009 01:08:31 AM
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It took the scales x seconds to decide whether this page was a witch or not. *NM*
- 24/09/2009 09:59:59 AM
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This page was turned into a newt for x seconds. It got better. *NM*
- 24/09/2009 10:01:20 AM
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This page proclaimed: "Oh my God, it's full of stars!" x seconds after arriving at readandfindout
- 25/09/2009 10:31:52 PM
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This page uncovered the true nature of V'ger x seconds before Kirk
- 25/09/2009 10:34:54 PM
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A copy of this page was created by the "ocean" on Solaris in x seconds *NM*
- 25/09/2009 10:36:49 PM
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This page had breakfast x seconds ago. Now it is time for second breakfast. *NM*
- 27/09/2009 12:57:50 PM
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