This page is X seconds faster than TMJ making a quip about MGB and/or Antonio Banderas *NM*
Larry Send a noteboard - 20/09/2009 09:57:19 PM
Now that I have internets again, I've gone around and updated bits and bobs around the site. One of the things I added was a page load time bit at the bottom of every page.
At the moment it's just a boring "This page was generated in 5 million seconds" type thing, so what I need from everyone is suggestions for slightly more witty sentances.
What I'm looking for is references to all Sci-Fi & Fantasy literature (not just WoT, so don't resubmit all the old ones from wotmania
) as well as related TV shows and movies.
Leave your suggestions as replies to this thread (please don't NB them to me!), and at some point in the next few weeks I'll gather them together, whip them into shape and get them on the site!
Let's see what you've got, then!
At the moment it's just a boring "This page was generated in 5 million seconds" type thing, so what I need from everyone is suggestions for slightly more witty sentances.
What I'm looking for is references to all Sci-Fi & Fantasy literature (not just WoT, so don't resubmit all the old ones from wotmania
) as well as related TV shows and movies.Leave your suggestions as replies to this thread (please don't NB them to me!), and at some point in the next few weeks I'll gather them together, whip them into shape and get them on the site!
Let's see what you've got, then!
Illusions fall like the husk of a fruit, one after another, and the fruit is experience. - Narrator, Sylvie
Je suis méchant.
Je suis méchant.
Page load time suggestions
- 20/09/2009 09:37:49 PM
3906 Views
This thread is omnipresent across all the boards. 
- 20/09/2009 09:47:57 PM
1813 Views
- 20/09/2009 09:47:57 PM
1813 Views
Ah, feck.
- 20/09/2009 09:50:44 PM
1759 Views
Fixed 
- 20/09/2009 09:58:29 PM
1644 Views
- 20/09/2009 09:58:29 PM
1644 Views
But!
- 20/09/2009 10:11:52 PM
1596 Views
test *NM*
- 20/09/2009 10:12:42 PM
929 Views
Nope.
- 20/09/2009 10:14:14 PM
1588 Views
- 20/09/2009 10:14:14 PM
1588 Views
Yeah. It's a CMB post that's simply visible from all boards.
- 20/09/2009 10:29:42 PM
1578 Views
this page calculated the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything in x
- 21/09/2009 02:09:48 AM
1665 Views
this page calculated the Question to the Ultimate Answer of Life, the Universe and Everything in x
- 21/09/2009 02:10:09 AM
1600 Views
This page is X seconds faster than TMJ making a quip about MGB and/or Antonio Banderas *NM*
- 20/09/2009 09:57:19 PM
929 Views
Steven Erikson made this page an amateur philosopher in X seconds. *NM*
- 20/09/2009 10:35:13 PM
908 Views
This page predicts the ending of Lost in X seconds
- 20/09/2009 11:09:55 PM
1771 Views
This page was held in a trance by the One Ring for x seconds *NM*
- 20/09/2009 11:34:17 PM
970 Views
This page was stuck for x seconds while Captain Kirk made a dramatic pause. *NM*
- 20/09/2009 11:37:21 PM
894 Views
The Man in Black fled across the desert, and this page followed for X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:10:00 AM
922 Views
This page made the Kessel Run in ___ seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:25:32 AM
866 Views
This page swears by it's pretty blue bonnet that it will end you in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:27:19 AM
921 Views
floral! floral bonnet! *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:52:50 AM
867 Views
Blue bonnets are flowers; does that help...?
- 21/09/2009 05:32:28 PM
1350 Views
This page sent the "We're Pathetic. Don't Shoot" message in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:28:41 AM
933 Views
Bender looked at this page for X seconds before laughing maniacally *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:32:32 AM
862 Views
This page wants to go to the planet where it's a hero in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:33:39 AM
852 Views
This page betrayed all the others to the White Witch for candy in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 01:56:01 AM
861 Views
this page saved a bunch of money on its insurance in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:13:24 AM
876 Views
The Balrog passed this page in x seconds.
- 21/09/2009 02:34:03 AM
1498 Views
This page won the Quidditch House Cup in x seconds. More inside this and my quoted post.
- 21/09/2009 02:59:39 AM
1519 Views
Read and Find Out in x seconds. More inside, and inside my previous ones.
- 21/09/2009 03:14:57 AM
1460 Views
Actually, Read and Find out doesn't really work. What works is...
- 21/09/2009 09:54:44 PM
1507 Views
This page threw itself at the ground and missed in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:51:46 AM
898 Views
This page is from X seconds in the future, and it's here to kill you. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:02:15 AM
869 Views
This page was confused by an episode of Lost after X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:08:09 AM
995 Views
This page had elves for X seconds and is no longer considered literary fiction. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:11:46 AM
860 Views
This page will reverse the polarity in X seconds. That should fix everything. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:55:02 AM
927 Views
This page killed three kobolds and a bugbear for X experience. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:57:08 AM
856 Views
That's thirty minutes away. This page will be there in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:27:48 AM
759 Views
This page wrote Jar Jar/Predator fiction for X seconds. That's why Google linked you here. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:37:48 AM
877 Views
This page killed Sylar three times in X seconds. Now they're working together. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:46:23 AM
874 Views
This page spent the last X seconds eating dwarf bread. Best just leave it alone. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:05:25 AM
862 Views
This Page was plown to peices by (insert Moranth munition here) in xx seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:05:27 AM
926 Views
This page used Feruchemy to get here in X seconds. That's a whole year of dial-up wasted. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:13:56 AM
863 Views
*NM*
This page channeled the ghost of Alan Turing for X seconds, but only a lonely chatbot noticed. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:27:47 AM
872 Views
You just Quantum Leaped in --- seconds??? Something to do witht hat show. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:32:42 AM
833 Views
This page complained about the time/date format in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:43:08 AM
919 Views
This page travelled at warp around the sun and went to 1986 for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:04:51 AM
852 Views
This page was "a harmony of mathematical precision" for x seconds
- 21/09/2009 10:12:45 AM
1569 Views
This page became the Emporer's Apprentice in X seconds. Still not as fast as Anakin. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:13:28 AM
875 Views
This page headed Southeast on Baka Laka Daka Street for X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:15:08 AM
917 Views
This page wresteld a Wookie for X seconds. Then lost it's arms. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:20:09 AM
858 Views
This page took X seconds to make Marvin want to kill himself. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:07:39 AM
706 Views
This page was created by the Heart of Gold's Infinite Probability Drive in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:46:38 AM
824 Views
This page lasted X seconds before passing out after drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:47:41 AM
888 Views
This page was eaten by a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:53:10 AM
798 Views
This page looked into the Total Perspective Vortex for X second before going crazy. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:58:42 AM
866 Views
This page got into a fight after X seconds in a bar on Unification Day. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:12:53 PM
867 Views
This page made God disappear in a puff of logic in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:25:21 PM
864 Views
This page was constructed by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 01:48:56 PM
867 Views
This page will explode if it loads slower than x seconds per hour *NM*
- 21/09/2009 01:56:49 PM
886 Views
When asked if it was a god, this page said 'yes' in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:38:46 PM
776 Views
This page considered her proposal for X seconds. For this page, that was an enternity. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:41:28 PM
868 Views
This page can show you the world, shinning, shimmering, and splendid in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:49:55 PM
978 Views
This page changed a rock for the sacred relic in X seconds...then ran from the huge boulder. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:51:17 PM
892 Views
This page was created on October the 24th, 4004 B.C. at 9 a.m. in just X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:52:39 PM
889 Views
This page revealed itself to Mulder for X seconds, but not Scully. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:56:02 PM
841 Views
Let's have some Goodkind ones, just for a laugh *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:14:40 PM
834 Views
*NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:14:40 PM
834 Views
This page expressed Gratch's love for Rich-arggg in X seconds *NM*
- 23/09/2009 02:58:12 PM
947 Views
This page only questioned Richard for X seconds. He's always right. *NM*
- 23/09/2009 03:13:02 PM
867 Views
This page watched the entire run of Stargate SG1 in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:18:04 PM
876 Views
Good news, everyone! I've invented a device that loaded this page in ... seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:53:34 PM
879 Views
*NM*
This page would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:11:46 PM
799 Views
This page took X seconds to skip reading Elayne's pregnancy chapters. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:14:10 PM
836 Views
This page was brought to life by a magical cupboard for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:30:03 PM
813 Views
This page balanced on the back of a giant turtle for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:39:33 PM
942 Views
This page grasped its cosmic insignificance and went mad in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:45:20 PM
836 Views
This page has not finished loading yet. Don't click anything. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:53:02 PM
1787 Views
This page spread chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:55:35 PM
828 Views
This page found out everything there is to know about the D man in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:58:19 PM
867 Views
This page stopped an alien invasion with glass of water in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:59:05 PM
839 Views
This page spent billions on a Vegan launch pad so it could talk to its dead father for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:04:28 PM
850 Views
This page cursed those filthy, fat, stupid hobbitses for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:05:38 PM
883 Views
It took the Librarian X seconds to throw this page out of the Library. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:10:28 PM
876 Views
This page was betrayed by Jayne Cobb and spent X seconds loading in a box on Canton. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:18:33 PM
903 Views
This page can kill you with its brain in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:19:13 PM
820 Views
Drizzt managed to slash this page 412 times before it finished loading. He felt really bad about it. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:20:06 PM
838 Views
This page disbelieved the reality of this site for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:22:01 PM
832 Views
1 green and 3 colorless mana were tapped to summon this page. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:22:53 PM
818 Views
It took x seconds for this page to sniff and pull its' braid. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:37:43 PM
856 Views
This page came from a world where Napolean clones killed Hitler in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:49:24 PM
821 Views
This page smoked me a kipper and will be back for breakfast in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:59:57 PM
915 Views
This page hit you with a major leaflet campaign in x seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:00:48 PM
896 Views
This page found out where all the calculators would go in x seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:01:37 PM
921 Views
This page has an IQ of x seconds. That is the same IQ as x PE teachers. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:03:14 PM
904 Views
It took the Torchwood writers x seconds to kill the entire cast of this page. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:04:57 PM
858 Views
Samuel Vimes turned this page into Lawful Good in x seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:06:59 PM
934 Views
Mr Universe intercepted an X second data stream about this page. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:22:29 PM
890 Views
This page was so long that Brandon Sanderson split it into X parts. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:55:41 PM
869 Views
This page defeated six blademasters in X seconds... eat that, Rand al`Thor! *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:57:48 PM
871 Views
This page crackled and exploded out of stone sleep in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:22:42 PM
932 Views
This page revealed it's true nature with the Eye of Odin in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:24:19 PM
896 Views
This page manipulated Brooklyn into stealing the Grimorium Arcanorum in X secconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:26:19 PM
885 Views
This page wiped out the entire Formic race in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:24:57 PM
876 Views
For X seconds this page pondered that time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:25:56 PM
919 Views
This page called upon Crom to grant it victory over its enemies for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:26:28 PM
918 Views
This page's brilliance astonished even itself for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:27:03 PM
888 Views
This page failed to find any intelligent life for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:27:31 PM
889 Views
Look, this page doesn't like to say "I told you so", but it told you so X seconds ago. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:28:06 PM
900 Views
All your base are belong to this page for the next X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:34:23 PM
866 Views
While this page loaded in x seconds, Griffith sacrificed his comrades to become Femto *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:03:42 PM
897 Views
Azathoth destroys the world in the x seconds it took to load this page *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:09:07 PM
916 Views
The Triforce granted this page the wish to load in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:12:08 PM
925 Views
Thank you for pressing the self-destruct button. Your computer will self-destruct in exactly X
- 21/09/2009 08:47:37 PM
1693 Views
This page couldn't figure out where Demandred is for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:50:47 PM
839 Views
This page found out the hard way that resistance is futile for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:54:50 PM
906 Views
This page pulled the Sword of Gryffondor from the Sorting Hate in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:58:48 PM
865 Views
D'argo and Chiana had fantastic sex on this page for X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:00:44 PM
887 Views
Rygel the XVI, Dominar to over 6 billion subjects, ate this page in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:01:35 PM
852 Views
This page put down a Goodkind book after X seconds of reading. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:03:39 PM
849 Views
Dan Brown tied this page to an ancient conspiracy in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:04:53 PM
861 Views
Jedi mind tricks didn't work on this page for X seconds. Only money. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:08:30 PM
920 Views
This page went to Tosche Station for power converters and back in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:28:20 PM
871 Views
This page held out its hand and found that it's quite cool for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:33:01 PM
906 Views
If you strike this page down, it shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:39:21 PM
842 Views
This is not the page you're looking for. You can go about your business. Move along, move along. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:41:48 PM
846 Views
This page looked like it was saying, "Kiss me, kiss me!" for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:42:42 PM
814 Views
Bob recalled this page in X seconds while reading a bawdy potboiler. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:58:31 PM
844 Views
This page started wailing the blues when the doctor whacked its bottom X seconds ago. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:10:59 AM
823 Views
This page consulted Dustin Hoffman on its existential concerns for X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:18:18 AM
900 Views
This page took photographic evidence of fairies seriously for X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:21:52 AM
844 Views
This page pit llamas against squirrels in a X-second deathmatch. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:36:18 AM
881 Views
This page converted all Martians to the Jesuit order in X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:37:57 AM
859 Views
This page toured the London Underground with a girl named Door for X seconds *NM*
- 22/09/2009 01:15:59 AM
900 Views
Fiver had a bad feeling about this page for X seconds *NM*
- 22/09/2009 01:22:35 AM
890 Views
Yes! 
I was trying to think of a Watership Down one. Awesome. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 04:41:00 AM
781 Views
I was trying to think of a Watership Down one. Awesome. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 04:41:00 AM
781 Views
For X seconds, this page was a germ, a rare disease, called "malagolintomontorosis." *NM*
- 22/09/2009 04:49:08 AM
1474 Views
By loading in [x], looks like this page arrived just in the nick of time. What does that make it? *NM*
- 22/09/2009 01:42:46 AM
909 Views
How about "This page arrived in X seconds. What does that make it?" *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:24:49 AM
813 Views
Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her X seconds ago *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:16:32 AM
860 Views
Moist von Lipwig completely fixed this page up in X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:26:53 AM
874 Views
Some oldies: This page grokked you in X seconds; this page aligned the matrix tower in x seconds *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:29:00 AM
897 Views
oldies cont: this page jaunted in X seconds; this page assembled an ansible in x seconds *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:31:45 AM
909 Views
Jewell a Terafin saw this page coming X seconds before it arrived *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:33:08 AM
1003 Views
This page was the bravest little hobbit of them all for X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 04:50:45 AM
814 Views
This page crossed the River Isen on Midsummer's Eve in X seconds, disguised as riders in black *NM*
- 22/09/2009 01:50:55 PM
884 Views
This page successfully froze time... but only for X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 07:12:19 PM
826 Views
This page was delayed by x seconds, it was trying to make sense of a sentence in Anathem. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 07:47:03 PM
839 Views
Tash managed x seconds before using Cleanandor™ on Samuel L. Jackson *NM*
- 22/09/2009 07:48:48 PM
805 Views
This page has been so worried it hasn't buffed its shoes in x days. *NM*
- 23/09/2009 12:49:16 PM
787 Views
Time [x seconds] is a great healer. Unless it's a rash, then you're better off with ointment. *NM*
- 23/09/2009 12:51:59 PM
901 Views
This page will rendevous with Rama in X seconds *NM*
- 24/09/2009 01:07:48 AM
797 Views
Great one. That is one of the best SF-novels ever. Behind Solaris.. *NM*
- 25/09/2009 10:23:28 PM
888 Views
This page sang that there are no cats in America and the streets are paved with cheese for X seconds *NM*
- 24/09/2009 01:08:31 AM
861 Views
It took the scales x seconds to decide whether this page was a witch or not. *NM*
- 24/09/2009 09:59:59 AM
895 Views
This page was turned into a newt for x seconds. It got better. *NM*
- 24/09/2009 10:01:20 AM
780 Views
This page proclaimed: "Oh my God, it's full of stars!" x seconds after arriving at readandfindout
- 25/09/2009 10:31:52 PM
1529 Views
This page uncovered the true nature of V'ger x seconds before Kirk
- 25/09/2009 10:34:54 PM
1376 Views
A copy of this page was created by the "ocean" on Solaris in x seconds *NM*
- 25/09/2009 10:36:49 PM
897 Views
This page had breakfast x seconds ago. Now it is time for second breakfast. *NM*
- 27/09/2009 12:57:50 PM
839 Views