Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families.
Clover Send a noteboard - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
I mean, Nick would like me to visit his family when he goes, but it's not of the utmost importance that I do so. I probably won't go if his brother is involved because we got into it and I don't like him. Nick understands and respects that. But at the same time, he doesn't particularly like his brother either. 
It just depends on the people involved. I'm sad that you would rather not go and feel like you're obligated to go anyway, but maybe your relationship works better that way. To each his own.
It just depends on the people involved. I'm sad that you would rather not go and feel like you're obligated to go anyway, but maybe your relationship works better that way. To each his own.
I don't think he cares so much about me visiting his family; it's more about spending time together - this is the first he's taken off work since we moved to WA, and it would sadden both of us to be apart for that entire week. It's just that I'd rather be together in Hawaii.
But, I respect that we can't simply cut all ties with IL, since we both spent almost our entire lives there up to this point. And for him many of those ties are positive. We are also getting married next year with his parents potentially contributing towards the wedding.These things are always complicated, aren't they? Sareitha made a good point when she talked about weighing how much you do/don't want to do something vs. how much your partner wants you to, and deciding based on that. That's basically the formula we follow, with some consideration given to what is expected of us by others, too.
I think that in five years, we probably won't go back very often.
This message last edited by Clover on 20/04/2011 at 03:14:00 AM
Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down?
- 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM
1801 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but...
- 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM
957 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM*
- 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM
446 Views
inlaws are not always bad
- 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM
872 Views
I think they are right
- 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM
1086 Views
Re: I think they are right
- 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM
918 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption.
- 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM
846 Views
What he said about his wife's mother
- 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM
1012 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels.
- 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM
768 Views
No offense...
- 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM
997 Views
yes but have you found such a thing?
- 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM
919 Views
For now I have 
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
459 Views
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
459 Views
how long has it been? *NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM
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Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges.
- 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM
944 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM
916 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM
881 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM
930 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. *NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
429 Views
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
429 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM*
- 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM
397 Views
I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but
- 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM
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that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM*
- 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
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*NM*
- 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
403 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
- 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM
1023 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have
- 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM
875 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married
- 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM
916 Views
How did things change?
- 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM
929 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this.
- 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM
972 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself
- 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM
902 Views
I know.
- 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM
1136 Views
Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
- 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM
834 Views
From the information that you have presented...
- 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM
1069 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian.
- 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM
855 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future)
- 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM
928 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am.
- 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM
898 Views
Could go either way.
- 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM
872 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa
- 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM
873 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce.
- 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM
861 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family
- 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM
874 Views
I think this is about priorities.
- 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM
1019 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families.
- 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
863 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them
- 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM
885 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way.
- 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM
870 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes"
- 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM
856 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies)
- 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM
915 Views