Active Users:364 Time:05/01/2025 03:00:55 PM
Back to Messageboard Post New Thread Search Help Stats Rules
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families. Clover Send a noteboard - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
I mean, Nick would like me to visit his family when he goes, but it's not of the utmost importance that I do so. I probably won't go if his brother is involved because we got into it and I don't like him. Nick understands and respects that. But at the same time, he doesn't particularly like his brother either. ;)
It just depends on the people involved. I'm sad that you would rather not go and feel like you're obligated to go anyway, but maybe your relationship works better that way. To each his own.


I don't think he cares so much about me visiting his family; it's more about spending time together - this is the first he's taken off work since we moved to WA, and it would sadden both of us to be apart for that entire week. It's just that I'd rather be together in Hawaii. :P But, I respect that we can't simply cut all ties with IL, since we both spent almost our entire lives there up to this point. And for him many of those ties are positive. We are also getting married next year with his parents potentially contributing towards the wedding.

These things are always complicated, aren't they? Sareitha made a good point when she talked about weighing how much you do/don't want to do something vs. how much your partner wants you to, and deciding based on that. That's basically the formula we follow, with some consideration given to what is expected of us by others, too.

I think that in five years, we probably won't go back very often.
This message last edited by Clover on 20/04/2011 at 03:14:00 AM
Reply to message
Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down? Helene - 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM 1829 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but... Urza - 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM 975 Views
Fair enough Helene - 19/04/2011 10:01:51 AM 933 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM 454 Views
inlaws are not always bad random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM 894 Views
I spend way more time with my in-laws than with my own family. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:17:41 PM 882 Views
I'm like this with my future in-laws too. *NM* Clover - 19/04/2011 04:47:05 PM 431 Views
I think they are right ironclad - 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM 1109 Views
I see your point Helene - 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM 1060 Views
Re: I think they are right Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM 939 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM 864 Views
What he said about his wife's mother Helene - 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM 1034 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM 784 Views
No offense... ironclad - 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM 1017 Views
yes but have you found such a thing? random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM 942 Views
For now I have *NM* ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM 468 Views
how long has it been? *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM 443 Views
Don't try to corrupt me with your long term pessimism ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:34:39 PM 894 Views
sadly I seem attracted to the crazies *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:08:14 PM 436 Views
Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM 963 Views
Could be either snoopcester - 19/04/2011 10:30:50 AM 979 Views
True enough... Helene - 19/04/2011 10:44:28 AM 955 Views
My opinion is the latter. Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:55:00 PM 962 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM 933 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Macharius - 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM 895 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations snoopcester - 19/04/2011 02:13:25 PM 1040 Views
I should have read this first. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:25:16 PM 982 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM 955 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM 440 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM* Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM 405 Views
I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM 1058 Views
that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM* LadyLorraine - 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM 410 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM 1041 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have Helene - 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM 892 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM 934 Views
How did things change? Helene - 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM 951 Views
Like I said I can only speak for myself random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:54:04 PM 958 Views
There's already a 10 year old in the picture for us Helene - 19/04/2011 06:52:44 PM 886 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM 995 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself random thoughts - 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM 933 Views
I know. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM 1157 Views
Sorry for some reason I thought you had just got married. random thoughts - 20/04/2011 09:52:24 PM 1398 Views
Good luck to them! *NM* rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:25:38 AM 423 Views
Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot Tihs Tnuc - 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM 854 Views
From the information that you have presented... Jeordam - 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM 1111 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian. Helene - 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM 872 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future) Jeordam - 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM 949 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am. Helene - 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM 919 Views
Could go either way. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM 899 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa Helene - 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM 901 Views
Giving up is one thing, growing past is another. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 10:00:55 PM 857 Views
Oh, to be fair, he's the friend and she's the wife Helene - 20/04/2011 08:43:12 AM 817 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce. Clover - 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM 886 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family random thoughts - 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM 891 Views
I think this is about priorities. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM 1040 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families. Clover - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM 880 Views
Even when younger, I was independent. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 05:29:59 AM 783 Views
*nods* Clover - 20/04/2011 06:25:29 AM 967 Views
rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:29:32 AM 1169 Views
Not the former for sure, and maybe not the latter. Palatine - 19/04/2011 05:55:03 PM 943 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM 904 Views
Can't tell. nossy - 19/04/2011 10:04:27 PM 860 Views
I'm with the 'can't tell' crowd. Antigone - 19/04/2011 11:37:17 PM 1174 Views
hell, or she could just not care too much at all LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 11:43:21 PM 884 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM 898 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes" Helene - 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM 874 Views
That would still be a deal breaker for me. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 11:49:09 PM 883 Views
I'm leaning more towards your interpretation. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 20/04/2011 02:15:22 AM 397 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies) Vivien - 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM 934 Views
I'm with you on this. *NM* Camilla - 20/04/2011 10:00:41 AM 450 Views
*sigh* Yunalesca - 20/04/2011 09:25:02 PM 1004 Views
Re: I mean, it's not good. *NM* Gaps - 20/04/2011 11:50:21 PM 391 Views
Back to Messageboard Post New Thread Search Help Stats Rules

Reply to Message

Block Quote Paragraph Quote
Formatting
Smiley Codes