I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them
LadyLorraine Send a noteboard - 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM
No couple is exactly what the textbooks would like to compare to. the end result of these events will entirely depend on this couple's dynamics between themselves, and with her family, as well as the priorities of the individuals involved.
On one hand, this could be her disengaging from a potential fight (not him, just the fight) because she has decided that "in-law time" is less important than "not arguing". The impact of this depends on whether this is just because she hates arguing, OR whether their particular situation makes "in-law time", even on holidays, relatively trivial in the greater scheme of things. If it's not IMPORTANT for either party for him to go, then avoiding the argument makes sense. Why fuss over something that doesn't matter that much to you?
However, if it is important for her that he goes and she has "given up" trying to get him to spend time with her family on a holiday, that bodes worse for their relationship. I can't say whether it will end in break up, but it will certainly lead to fighting and tension.
If this is a compromise over something relatively unimportant to her, then I think it would be a positive development indicating successful communication and compromise in a relationship.
If it's her giving up on something important to her, I think it is an indicator of a poor prognosis.
On one hand, this could be her disengaging from a potential fight (not him, just the fight) because she has decided that "in-law time" is less important than "not arguing". The impact of this depends on whether this is just because she hates arguing, OR whether their particular situation makes "in-law time", even on holidays, relatively trivial in the greater scheme of things. If it's not IMPORTANT for either party for him to go, then avoiding the argument makes sense. Why fuss over something that doesn't matter that much to you?
However, if it is important for her that he goes and she has "given up" trying to get him to spend time with her family on a holiday, that bodes worse for their relationship. I can't say whether it will end in break up, but it will certainly lead to fighting and tension.
If this is a compromise over something relatively unimportant to her, then I think it would be a positive development indicating successful communication and compromise in a relationship.
If it's her giving up on something important to her, I think it is an indicator of a poor prognosis.
Still Empress of the Poofy Purple Pillow Pile Palace!!
Continued Love of my Aussie <3
Continued Love of my Aussie <3
This message last edited by LadyLorraine on 19/04/2011 at 07:26:25 PM
Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down?
19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM
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Helene, I want to give you an answer but...
19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM
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Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM*
19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM
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inlaws are not always bad
19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM
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I think they are right
19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM
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Re: I think they are right
19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM
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I think that's an unfair assumption.
19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM
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What he said about his wife's mother
19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM
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Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels.
20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM
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No offense...
19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM
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yes but have you found such a thing?
19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM
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For now I have *NM*
19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
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how long has it been? *NM*
19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM
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Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges.
20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM
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He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM
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Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM
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Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM
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You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. *NM*
19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
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I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM*
20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM
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I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but
20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM
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that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM*
20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
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The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM
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To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have
19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM
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I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married
19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM
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How did things change?
19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM
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My husband and I don't understand why people say this.
20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM
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I did say I was only speaking for myself
20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM
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I know.
20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM
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Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM
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From the information that you have presented...
19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM
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I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian.
19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM
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Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future)
19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM
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Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am.
19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM
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Could go either way.
19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM
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I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa
19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM
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I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce.
19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM
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I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family
19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM
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I think this is about priorities.
20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM
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Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families.
20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
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I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them
19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM
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What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way.
20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM
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It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes"
20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM
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I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies)
20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM
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