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How did things change? Helene Send a noteboard - 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM
I don't know anything about this guy but I don't like it when people talk bad about their souses. Complaining to a friend is fine but not if it is condescending or gives the impression you don't like them.


It's more like he thinks she's a little less bright than he is, and that he settled for her. Personally, I think she could do way better than him.

Me and my wife lived together for seven years before we got married and things still changed after we got married. Some for the worse but most for the better. After twenty years though a certain familiarity does seem tend to set in. I love my wife dearly and I am thrilled she is my partner in life but sometimes I wants to spend some time away from her.


Was it the marriage that changed things, or the passing of time? My fiance and I regularly spend time away from each other, as we have our own things, and we love spending time together as well.

Good luck on the up coming wedding by the way.


Thanks... we haven't set a date yet though :-).
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Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down? Helene - 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM 2062 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but... Urza - 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM 1193 Views
Fair enough Helene - 19/04/2011 10:01:51 AM 1143 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM 590 Views
inlaws are not always bad random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM 1112 Views
I spend way more time with my in-laws than with my own family. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:17:41 PM 1086 Views
I'm like this with my future in-laws too. *NM* Clover - 19/04/2011 04:47:05 PM 567 Views
I think they are right ironclad - 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM 1329 Views
I see your point Helene - 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM 1283 Views
Re: I think they are right Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM 1170 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM 1075 Views
What he said about his wife's mother Helene - 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM 1249 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM 1001 Views
No offense... ironclad - 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM 1229 Views
yes but have you found such a thing? random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM 1160 Views
For now I have *NM* ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM 596 Views
how long has it been? *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM 576 Views
Don't try to corrupt me with your long term pessimism ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:34:39 PM 1107 Views
sadly I seem attracted to the crazies *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:08:14 PM 563 Views
Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM 1176 Views
Could be either snoopcester - 19/04/2011 10:30:50 AM 1211 Views
True enough... Helene - 19/04/2011 10:44:28 AM 1184 Views
My opinion is the latter. Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:55:00 PM 1187 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM 1165 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Macharius - 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM 1145 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations snoopcester - 19/04/2011 02:13:25 PM 1261 Views
I should have read this first. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:25:16 PM 1188 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM 1172 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM 572 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM* Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM 545 Views
I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM 1285 Views
that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM* LadyLorraine - 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM 533 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM 1270 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have Helene - 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM 1102 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM 1148 Views
How did things change? Helene - 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM 1151 Views
Like I said I can only speak for myself random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:54:04 PM 1189 Views
There's already a 10 year old in the picture for us Helene - 19/04/2011 06:52:44 PM 1135 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM 1270 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself random thoughts - 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM 1152 Views
I know. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM 1387 Views
Sorry for some reason I thought you had just got married. random thoughts - 20/04/2011 09:52:24 PM 1608 Views
Good luck to them! *NM* rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:25:38 AM 557 Views
Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot Tihs Tnuc - 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM 1064 Views
From the information that you have presented... Jeordam - 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM 1332 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian. Helene - 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM 1081 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future) Jeordam - 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM 1163 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am. Helene - 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM 1148 Views
Could go either way. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM 1109 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa Helene - 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM 1129 Views
Giving up is one thing, growing past is another. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 10:00:55 PM 1081 Views
Oh, to be fair, he's the friend and she's the wife Helene - 20/04/2011 08:43:12 AM 1034 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce. Clover - 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM 1094 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family random thoughts - 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM 1116 Views
I think this is about priorities. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM 1269 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families. Clover - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM 1094 Views
Even when younger, I was independent. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 05:29:59 AM 1031 Views
*nods* Clover - 20/04/2011 06:25:29 AM 1185 Views
rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:29:32 AM 1378 Views
Not the former for sure, and maybe not the latter. Palatine - 19/04/2011 05:55:03 PM 1149 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM 1117 Views
Can't tell. nossy - 19/04/2011 10:04:27 PM 1081 Views
I'm with the 'can't tell' crowd. Antigone - 19/04/2011 11:37:17 PM 1521 Views
hell, or she could just not care too much at all LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 11:43:21 PM 1102 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM 1128 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes" Helene - 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM 1090 Views
That would still be a deal breaker for me. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 11:49:09 PM 1104 Views
I'm leaning more towards your interpretation. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 20/04/2011 02:15:22 AM 533 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies) Vivien - 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM 1164 Views
I'm with you on this. *NM* Camilla - 20/04/2011 10:00:41 AM 594 Views
*sigh* Yunalesca - 20/04/2011 09:25:02 PM 1236 Views
Re: I mean, it's not good. *NM* Gaps - 20/04/2011 11:50:21 PM 523 Views
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