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How did things change? Helene Send a noteboard - 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM
I don't know anything about this guy but I don't like it when people talk bad about their souses. Complaining to a friend is fine but not if it is condescending or gives the impression you don't like them.


It's more like he thinks she's a little less bright than he is, and that he settled for her. Personally, I think she could do way better than him.

Me and my wife lived together for seven years before we got married and things still changed after we got married. Some for the worse but most for the better. After twenty years though a certain familiarity does seem tend to set in. I love my wife dearly and I am thrilled she is my partner in life but sometimes I wants to spend some time away from her.


Was it the marriage that changed things, or the passing of time? My fiance and I regularly spend time away from each other, as we have our own things, and we love spending time together as well.

Good luck on the up coming wedding by the way.


Thanks... we haven't set a date yet though :-).
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Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down? Helene - 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM 1999 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but... Urza - 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM 1137 Views
Fair enough Helene - 19/04/2011 10:01:51 AM 1087 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM 560 Views
inlaws are not always bad random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM 1047 Views
I spend way more time with my in-laws than with my own family. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:17:41 PM 1038 Views
I'm like this with my future in-laws too. *NM* Clover - 19/04/2011 04:47:05 PM 542 Views
I think they are right ironclad - 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM 1271 Views
I see your point Helene - 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM 1231 Views
Re: I think they are right Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM 1099 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM 1028 Views
What he said about his wife's mother Helene - 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM 1199 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM 950 Views
No offense... ironclad - 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM 1174 Views
yes but have you found such a thing? random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM 1108 Views
For now I have *NM* ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM 571 Views
how long has it been? *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM 552 Views
Don't try to corrupt me with your long term pessimism ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:34:39 PM 1050 Views
sadly I seem attracted to the crazies *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:08:14 PM 541 Views
Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM 1119 Views
Could be either snoopcester - 19/04/2011 10:30:50 AM 1151 Views
True enough... Helene - 19/04/2011 10:44:28 AM 1116 Views
My opinion is the latter. Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:55:00 PM 1120 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM 1102 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Macharius - 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM 1084 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations snoopcester - 19/04/2011 02:13:25 PM 1206 Views
I should have read this first. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:25:16 PM 1134 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM 1116 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM 545 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM* Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM 518 Views
I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM 1226 Views
that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM* LadyLorraine - 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM 511 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM 1210 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have Helene - 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM 1055 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM 1093 Views
How did things change? Helene - 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM 1094 Views
Like I said I can only speak for myself random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:54:04 PM 1129 Views
There's already a 10 year old in the picture for us Helene - 19/04/2011 06:52:44 PM 1074 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM 1170 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself random thoughts - 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM 1103 Views
I know. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM 1333 Views
Sorry for some reason I thought you had just got married. random thoughts - 20/04/2011 09:52:24 PM 1554 Views
Good luck to them! *NM* rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:25:38 AM 530 Views
Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot Tihs Tnuc - 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM 1012 Views
From the information that you have presented... Jeordam - 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM 1282 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian. Helene - 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM 1028 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future) Jeordam - 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM 1105 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am. Helene - 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM 1099 Views
Could go either way. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM 1055 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa Helene - 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM 1075 Views
Giving up is one thing, growing past is another. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 10:00:55 PM 1018 Views
Oh, to be fair, he's the friend and she's the wife Helene - 20/04/2011 08:43:12 AM 992 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce. Clover - 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM 1046 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family random thoughts - 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM 1059 Views
I think this is about priorities. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM 1201 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families. Clover - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM 1006 Views
Even when younger, I was independent. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 05:29:59 AM 945 Views
*nods* Clover - 20/04/2011 06:25:29 AM 1130 Views
rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:29:32 AM 1331 Views
Not the former for sure, and maybe not the latter. Palatine - 19/04/2011 05:55:03 PM 1103 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM 1058 Views
Can't tell. nossy - 19/04/2011 10:04:27 PM 1022 Views
I'm with the 'can't tell' crowd. Antigone - 19/04/2011 11:37:17 PM 1458 Views
hell, or she could just not care too much at all LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 11:43:21 PM 1052 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM 1080 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes" Helene - 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM 1042 Views
That would still be a deal breaker for me. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 11:49:09 PM 1054 Views
I'm leaning more towards your interpretation. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 20/04/2011 02:15:22 AM 505 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies) Vivien - 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM 1097 Views
I'm with you on this. *NM* Camilla - 20/04/2011 10:00:41 AM 554 Views
*sigh* Yunalesca - 20/04/2011 09:25:02 PM 1172 Views
Re: I mean, it's not good. *NM* Gaps - 20/04/2011 11:50:21 PM 495 Views
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