To stick to this example, why would couples have to do everything together anyway? She wants to see her mum, let her. He doesn't, so he can stay watch football. I think they handle it well. At least if she doesn't really hold a grudge and as long as there are instances where he does indeed go out of his way to please her.
There is a difference between "an afternoon at mum's", and "Easter Sunday dinner". If I were to decline a holiday dinner like that with my wife, there would be Hell to pay because holiday dinners are important to her. I don't know if that's the case with this guy's wife or not - but I'd assume it would be or she wouldn't have asked in the first place.
We just don't have enough information to make that determination. The mother could be horrible. They could already spend tons of time over there. Easter might not mean anything to him. Or yes, he could just be an asshat. But then I'd say he was probably an asshat when she married him, and she picked him anyway
There are definitely things I ask my husband to do with me that I expect he'll say no to (and vice versa), but we still ask each other because every once in awhile the answer is yes. Whatever this wife's reason for not pursuing the argument about it, it's more likely a positive sign for the relationship than a negative one. We can argue and beg and wheedle and cajole and manipulate and attempt to influence and control as much as we want, but in the end we can't make anyone do anything. Not getting into another repetitive fight about it shows acceptance on her part and prevents further damage to the relationship from the fighting.
If you are from Betelgeuse, please have one of your Earth friends read what I've written before you respond. Or try concentrating harder.
"The trophy problem has become extreme."
"The trophy problem has become extreme."
Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down?
- 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM
1801 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but...
- 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM
956 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM*
- 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM
446 Views
inlaws are not always bad
- 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM
871 Views
I think they are right
- 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM
1086 Views
Re: I think they are right
- 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM
916 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption.
- 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM
846 Views
What he said about his wife's mother
- 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM
1011 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels.
- 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM
766 Views
No offense...
- 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM
997 Views
yes but have you found such a thing?
- 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM
917 Views
For now I have 
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
458 Views
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
458 Views
how long has it been? *NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM
433 Views
Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges.
- 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM
943 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM
915 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM
879 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
- 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM
928 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. 
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
428 Views
*NM*
- 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
428 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM*
- 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM
397 Views
I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but
- 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM
1041 Views
that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM*
- 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
402 Views
*NM*
- 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
402 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
- 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM
1022 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have
- 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM
872 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married
- 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM
914 Views
How did things change?
- 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM
928 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this.
- 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM
971 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself
- 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM
902 Views
I know.
- 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM
1136 Views
Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
- 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM
833 Views
From the information that you have presented...
- 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM
1067 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian.
- 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM
853 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future)
- 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM
927 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am.
- 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM
896 Views
Could go either way.
- 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM
870 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa
- 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM
871 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce.
- 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM
859 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family
- 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM
874 Views
I think this is about priorities.
- 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM
1019 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families.
- 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
861 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them
- 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM
885 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way.
- 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM
869 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes"
- 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM
856 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies)
- 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM
915 Views