They've given up on the little, pointless arguments about making the other one do something they have no interest in doing.
I don't think there's any sense in having pointless arguments. However, I think that spending a holiday with a relative doesn't necessarily fall into a category of complete meaninglessness. That's more like arguing over not putting on the toothpaste cap, or who should take out the trash. Of course, we'd probably have to know how the question was asked. E.g. she could have said: "I'm going to my mum's for Easter, want to come along?" Which is very different from the scenario I'm envisioning. And of course, we're not even thinking about the mum herself. She might be a right horror.
Of course a relationship also consist of compromises and doing things for each other, as you say. Maybe this just isn't the best example. I am sure he does plenty of things for her he doesn't feel like doing.
Admittedly, I get the impression that he doesn't go out of his way to do nice things for her, that would make her feel appreciated and special. He generally speaks of her in a slightly condescending way.
To stick to this example, why would couples have to do everything together anyway?
I don't recall saying that couples need to do everything together? I think that's unhealthy. But there's a difference between doing things separately, and not doing something together your partner has asked you to do together.
Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down?
19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM
- 1805 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but...
19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM
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Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM*
19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM
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inlaws are not always bad
19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM
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I think they are right
19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM
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I see your point
19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM
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Re: I think they are right
19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM
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I think that's an unfair assumption.
19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM
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What he said about his wife's mother
19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM
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Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels.
20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM
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No offense...
19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM
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yes but have you found such a thing?
19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM
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For now I have *NM*
19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM
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how long has it been? *NM*
19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM
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Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges.
20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM
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He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM
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Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM
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Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations
19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM
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You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. *NM*
19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM
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I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM*
20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM
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I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but
20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM
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that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM*
20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM
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The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM
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To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have
19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM
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I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married
19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM
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How did things change?
19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM
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My husband and I don't understand why people say this.
20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM
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I did say I was only speaking for myself
20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM
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I know.
20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM
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Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot
19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM
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From the information that you have presented...
19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM
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I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian.
19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM
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Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future)
19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM
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Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am.
19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM
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Could go either way.
19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM
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I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa
19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM
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I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce.
19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM
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I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family
19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM
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I think this is about priorities.
20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM
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Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families.
20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM
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I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them
19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM
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What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way.
20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM
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It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes"
20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM
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I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies)
20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM
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