we've only been engaged since august but haven't been planning anything solid. heh.



my parents want to pay for the wedding so i'm not worried about that, but if i had to pay for it, i wouldn't have a big one. i'd probably have the minimum close family and get married very simply.




us too, more or less.




yes, quite a few. i was maid of honor for 2, bridesmaid in 1, and have been to 6 others in my adult life. as a kid i went to a couple, but don't remember them well.



i liked the good ones. i don't like most of the ones i see on tv/movies.



no. i'm avoiding organizing my own, too.



best one was my cousin's in kauai. it was a very small wedding with close family/friends and various kids in attendance. they had us stay at the waimea plantation cottages for the weekend and there were a couple of dinners and brunches and a couple touristy things so that family and friends could get to know one another. the wedding was an absolutely beautiful hawaiian/jewish ceremony. daytime ceremony, starting in the afternoon and lasting into the night, excellent food. it rained a little bit; on kauai you're never really promised rain or no rain, even in the dry season.

the other great one was my cousin's wedding in israel. also daytime ceremony, party went into the night. they had a rock-n-roll rabbi, a young guy who was open to a ceremony that was a little less religious. they had a dj who spins for manchester united when they play in israel and they invited all of their close friends, like 30-40 people, along with our huge family and all of the young kids of all the family and friends, ending up with around 100 people. they also had these great caterers, so awesome food, even stuff vegetarians could eat. they wanted a party that their friends wanted to go to and they had that - it was an amazing party. probably the best party at a wedding i've ever been to.

the other interesting wedding (not a favorite, but my family enjoyed it) was my dad's wedding... i tend to block this one out, and that's why i'm adding it in an edit. he flew everyone he and his wife wanted there to a resort in mexico and we had about 5 days of time with all the family/friends. my sister and my ex and i spent most of the time drunk in the pool/bar. (the bar was in the pool. yeah.) anyway, as far as good ways to get family together for a longer time, that is a good one.



something like either of those two. we have 3 countries involved, and we have to either figure out a centralized location, or make it tiny and invite the essential people. our favorite option is actually a tiny wedding on kauai - 25-30 people - with our second favorite being a huge wedding in ca, where we live. the third option is an east coast usa wedding so that germans and israelis can get there with a non-stop flight. it poses a problem for my ca friends who want to come and won't be able to afford it if i get married far away. so there are clear issues.

the thing about planning is that it's a huge pain in the ass. our 3 country problem makes it very hard to finalize any sort of plan. his visa expires this year and we want to make sure he doesn't get kicked out of the country. so, we are thinking, getting married is a good way to ensure that, at least. his work is renewing his work visa, but if anything goes wrong with that process, we have to get married quick, and if that happens, we will probably fly his parents to ny and get married at a courthouse there with his parents and mine present and have a nice dinner after. then we'll probably take the party out to 3 countries to make sure we see all of the people we want to see. that option was at the bottom of our list, though.




nothing traditional. i didn't like any of the traditional weddings i was in, and then the ones on tv/movies are awful. we're both freethinking/atheist types of people. i want to get married on a beach with my dogs and friends and family and be barefoot in a dress. i've never had the plan, or really even the thought that i would get married. it's never been part of the "plan" as it were.