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I present to you: A VISION OF THE FUTURE-UTRE-UTRE-UTRE beetnemesis Send a noteboard - 24/03/2011 02:19:19 AM
It is a beautiful day in the summer of 2020. AERYN is walking through a park that has been carefully groomed by ROBOT GARDENERS. She is accompanied by her husband, BLACKMAN #20001. They are smiling, holding hands, and just in general being a sickeningly cute couple.
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.
.
.
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AERYN: Oh, my love! What a wonderful day! I couldn't be happier!

BLACKMAN #20001: Too true, dearest! It's been simply marvelous! What say we take out hoverboards down to the cove after this, what what?

AERYN: That sounds simply divine.

As the couple walks past a DIPPIN' DOTS (The Ice Cream of the Future!) stand, they are suddenly accosted by a BLACK WOMAN. She is dressed in RAGS, and is WEEPING.

BLACK WOMAN: sobbing Oh, what a world, what a world! If only I had a successful, educated black husband! But the white girls! They stole them! They STOLE them from me!

She begins to WAIL and GNASH HER TEETH, but suddenly sees our HAPPY, INTERRACIAL HEROES, and stops.
BLACK WOMAN: YOU! YOU STOLE MY HUSBAND! She launches herself at AERYN
BLACK WOMAN: BITCH, I'LL PULL OUT YOUR WEAVE!
AERYN: THIS ISN'T A WEAVE!

Because in the future, 30 Rock references will still be hilarious
BM 2K1: Miss, unhand my wife! He goes TOTALLY NINJA on the BLACK WOMAN
BM 2K1: Now, I'm sorry, but I adore this woman. I hope one day you can find the love that we share.

BLACK WOMAN: Nooooooooo! You should be miiiiiiiine! All other black men are in jail, apparently! Oh, what a world, what a world, who would have thought some little girl like you could destroy my beautiful racial purity!?


I'M MELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTINGGGGGGGGGGG!




AERYN is not without compassion, however. She blows a small whistle, and a ROBOT DOG suddenly runs out of the bushes.

AERYN: Robone! I want you to stay with this woman-shaped puddle of goo. You're hers now, ok?

ROBONE lets out an adorable synthesized bark, and then begins to engage his comforting and licking subroutines.
BLACK WOMAN: GURGLING, because she is now a PUDDLE OF GOO I'm... so alone. Will... will you love me?



THE SUN sets, causing the sky to alight in an inferno of pinks and oranges, as if the HEAVENS THEMSELVES are celebrating AERYN'S LOVE. But really it's just from all the pollutants in the air.


.................................................................................................................................................................................
THE END
I amuse myself.
Reply to message
Interracial dating (in the dating dilemma series) - 23/03/2011 11:11:14 AM 2101 Views
I am not a black woman and I haven't done it - 23/03/2011 11:24:16 AM 1058 Views
Re: - 23/03/2011 11:38:31 AM 1094 Views
Independence Day reference? Good man. *NM* - 23/03/2011 08:28:35 PM 538 Views
john lennon... - 24/03/2011 01:08:20 PM 1087 Views
I dated a black girl for nearly 3 years. - 23/03/2011 12:29:26 PM 1117 Views
- 23/03/2011 12:57:08 PM 1132 Views
LMAO Jens, you know me too well - 23/03/2011 11:30:35 PM 1010 Views
And her mother is Muslim. - 24/03/2011 11:48:24 AM 1037 Views
What's it called? *NM* - 24/03/2011 10:36:28 PM 547 Views
please give him a moment to google an answer. *NM* - 25/03/2011 11:04:02 AM 551 Views
She said it's called Abu Haifa (sp?) - 25/03/2011 10:38:13 PM 1050 Views
Hm, okay. - 26/03/2011 12:16:02 AM 1170 Views
That was it, Abu Hanifa. I'm poor with Arabic. - 26/03/2011 01:08:12 AM 1092 Views
amazingly enough, I dont believe you. - 23/03/2011 11:32:26 PM 1147 Views
I'd prove it to you. - 24/03/2011 11:47:33 AM 1003 Views
God help me, I'm agreeing with Dragonsoul. - 24/03/2011 09:29:56 PM 1016 Views
I think he is making it up for the benefit of this comunity - 24/03/2011 10:03:21 PM 1119 Views
Sometimes I worry about "this community"... - 25/03/2011 11:33:17 PM 1212 Views
I think that would be a poor reason to not date someone - 23/03/2011 01:07:31 PM 1127 Views
I didn't even see the "cow & milk" analogy. - 24/03/2011 04:03:02 AM 987 Views
being offensive makes it no less true - 24/03/2011 01:25:34 PM 997 Views
It's true that after a certain age, average men have an easier time finding dates - 24/03/2011 01:31:35 PM 970 Views
I don't date so I don't have personal experience - 24/03/2011 03:29:50 PM 986 Views
I don't date either... :-) - 24/03/2011 03:42:33 PM 1195 Views
I think you're doing him a disservice. - 23/03/2011 02:16:59 PM 1093 Views
This. Plus, to try to frame it more in A's terms... - 23/03/2011 03:05:55 PM 1018 Views
It can add extra complications that negatively impact the likelihood of a successful relationship - 23/03/2011 02:50:39 PM 1026 Views
What I forgot to mention in the post - 23/03/2011 03:01:04 PM 993 Views
Re: What I forgot to mention in the post - 24/03/2011 05:11:11 AM 1049 Views
I think you should date him. - 23/03/2011 03:02:56 PM 975 Views
I think you should date this guy if you like him. - 23/03/2011 03:07:30 PM 980 Views
I think that you're doing both of you a disservice. - 23/03/2011 03:09:29 PM 1032 Views
I agree with you. - 23/03/2011 03:26:02 PM 1035 Views
Well, you know your sis better than we do... - 23/03/2011 03:48:12 PM 1005 Views
Because you never know. - 23/03/2011 04:00:44 PM 1162 Views
Geez you know just the right things to say. - 24/03/2011 03:38:34 AM 1022 Views
LOL. ( Yes I really did laugh out loud) *NM* - 24/03/2011 03:55:22 AM 530 Views
Most of the other responses are ignoring your reasons. - 23/03/2011 03:34:56 PM 955 Views
No one should try to think from "the perspective of black women", not even 1 black woman can do that - 23/03/2011 03:47:34 PM 999 Views
Re - 23/03/2011 04:05:20 PM 1121 Views
Or - 23/03/2011 03:47:56 PM 1000 Views
We have no control over how other people act. - 23/03/2011 04:07:11 PM 1128 Views
I agree completely. - 23/03/2011 04:17:59 PM 1082 Views
This has to be one of the stupidest reasons for not dating someone I've ever heard. - 23/03/2011 03:54:15 PM 1035 Views
Your opinion: less than nothing. - 23/03/2011 04:10:24 PM 1115 Views
Who are you? - 23/03/2011 08:37:43 PM 1156 Views
It's extremely unlikely that Tom was offended. - 23/03/2011 09:04:42 PM 1033 Views
I'm glad you're back, by the way. These threads are great. *NM* - 23/03/2011 09:15:41 PM 544 Views
Thank you. *NM* - 24/03/2011 04:01:08 AM 549 Views
I'm not offended, only amused at your poor logic. - 23/03/2011 09:24:05 PM 1069 Views
That's lawyer logic! - 24/03/2011 03:50:37 AM 999 Views
Is there any other kind? *NM* - 24/03/2011 02:05:27 PM 544 Views
Ooh that's harsh. - 24/03/2011 03:48:50 AM 958 Views
This is all I get???? - 24/03/2011 03:54:22 AM 1061 Views
Oh, I appreciate. There's cake in the fridge *NM* - 24/03/2011 04:27:20 AM 508 Views
You two are sooo cute! *NM* - 24/03/2011 07:29:12 PM 414 Views
Yup. - 24/03/2011 01:42:16 AM 1099 Views
That's a good analogy. - 24/03/2011 03:50:17 AM 1085 Views
What's wrong with wanting to preserve races or ethnic groups? - 24/03/2011 02:09:02 AM 1060 Views
When its the black race? *NM* - 24/03/2011 02:21:13 AM 545 Views
You're such an ass *NM* - 24/03/2011 02:52:12 AM 520 Views
*butts in* - 24/03/2011 02:45:26 AM 1053 Views
"It would be wrong, immortal [sic] even". - 24/03/2011 02:52:21 AM 1083 Views
Or potentially not (directly) from Africa - 24/03/2011 03:06:36 AM 939 Views
I've only seen "identifies as" when someone is of mixed race. *NM* - 24/03/2011 03:09:51 AM 502 Views
You're absolutely right. - 24/03/2011 04:14:49 AM 1025 Views
Then your argument is even sillier, as mixed race is too white - 24/03/2011 09:50:15 AM 907 Views
Is he "identifying as" black in a cultural context as well? - 24/03/2011 02:04:43 PM 890 Views
Re: *butts in* - 24/03/2011 03:03:14 AM 946 Views
You're a damn genius! - 24/03/2011 03:09:26 AM 1043 Views
I don't feel like one - 25/03/2011 01:17:07 AM 1015 Views
Re: This has to be one of the stupidest reasons for not dating someone I've ever heard. - 24/03/2011 04:07:36 AM 1046 Views
That could be argued in the opposite way just as easily. - 24/03/2011 09:48:16 AM 978 Views
Huh - 25/03/2011 11:15:58 AM 996 Views
Are you looking for reasons not to date him, or are you just being overly socially conscience? - 23/03/2011 08:12:48 PM 1018 Views
Ha. - 24/03/2011 04:17:26 AM 1002 Views
Heh, that really is the best thing *NM* - 24/03/2011 04:48:07 AM 544 Views
...wat. Is this a serious post? - 23/03/2011 08:23:04 PM 1005 Views
Kinda? - 24/03/2011 04:23:12 AM 1064 Views
I just broke up with my Pakistani girlfriend - 23/03/2011 08:24:52 PM 968 Views
Heh heh heh heh - 23/03/2011 08:25:06 PM 869 Views
Ha, I didn't even see that typo. - 24/03/2011 05:14:40 AM 899 Views
<3 You Ana, BUT - 23/03/2011 08:44:11 PM 995 Views
wait. did you..? - 24/03/2011 04:37:23 AM 1018 Views
Your taken aback by this why? - 24/03/2011 06:30:46 AM 1066 Views
I thought this was a great post. - 23/03/2011 10:26:08 PM 1046 Views
Glad I could entertain. *NM* - 24/03/2011 03:47:48 AM 482 Views
I understand what you are saying. - 23/03/2011 11:04:44 PM 989 Views
An ally! Score! - 24/03/2011 03:56:53 AM 970 Views
Aw, you're a darling. - 24/03/2011 04:26:39 AM 1025 Views
Also somebody brought up the valid point of his rights. - 26/03/2011 11:55:49 PM 1008 Views
he is not a resource, he is a man. *NM* - 23/03/2011 11:29:37 PM 596 Views
Cock is a resource. *NM* - 23/03/2011 11:43:39 PM 503 Views
seriously? that is dumb. date the man. also, it is dehumanising to refer to him as a resource. - 24/03/2011 12:52:38 AM 1051 Views
This is exactly it. - 24/03/2011 04:02:10 AM 1064 Views
I didn't quite. I was talking about the economic principle. *NM* - 24/03/2011 04:42:57 AM 514 Views
<--Black Guy Post - 24/03/2011 12:57:13 AM 1135 Views
Re: - 24/03/2011 04:53:07 AM 1056 Views
Um. - 24/03/2011 01:00:47 AM 1151 Views
Well, according to stand-up comics who specialize in racially based humor... - 24/03/2011 01:29:35 AM 1032 Views
Practical advice. I like it. - 24/03/2011 03:58:24 AM 1062 Views
Practical advice! *NM* - 24/03/2011 03:58:34 AM 509 Views
... how did you? *NM* - 24/03/2011 04:31:14 AM 537 Views
I don't know! Our posts are about 1/10 of a second apart, freaky. *NM* - 24/03/2011 04:35:23 AM 499 Views
1/6 of a minute. But it's still a comical coincidence. *NM* - 24/03/2011 09:52:19 PM 524 Views
I present to you: A VISION OF THE FUTURE-UTRE-UTRE-UTRE - 24/03/2011 02:19:19 AM 1142 Views
Oh, that was awesome *NM* - 24/03/2011 03:37:01 AM 530 Views
+ 10 best post ever. I can't believe how funny that was. *NM* - 24/03/2011 03:54:39 AM 579 Views
What just happened? *NM* - 24/03/2011 04:04:45 AM 493 Views
*NM* - 24/03/2011 08:32:36 AM 431 Views
Awesome *NM* - 24/03/2011 09:03:13 AM 612 Views
I am currently dating a black woman... - 24/03/2011 06:29:03 AM 1004 Views
...I always figured your name was a Snow Crash reference *NM* - 24/03/2011 03:48:53 PM 529 Views
I have had the nickname longer than that has been out. *NM* - 24/03/2011 07:08:02 PM 545 Views
Don't date him. - 24/03/2011 09:44:30 AM 1003 Views
Its not likely anyone will read this comment since there are so many already - 24/03/2011 01:12:19 PM 1115 Views
She's not talking about welfare queens, she's talking about well educated black women - 24/03/2011 01:33:48 PM 1059 Views
It is. *NM* - 24/03/2011 09:33:01 PM 497 Views
this might help you understand what she is talking about - 25/03/2011 02:24:35 PM 1022 Views

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