I present to you: A VISION OF THE FUTURE-UTRE-UTRE-UTRE
beetnemesis Send a noteboard - 24/03/2011 02:19:19 AM
It is a beautiful day in the summer of 2020. AERYN is walking through a park that has been carefully groomed by ROBOT GARDENERS. She is accompanied by her husband, BLACKMAN #20001. They are smiling, holding hands, and just in general being a sickeningly cute couple.
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AERYN: Oh, my love! What a wonderful day! I couldn't be happier!
BLACKMAN #20001: Too true, dearest! It's been simply marvelous! What say we take out hoverboards down to the cove after this, what what?
AERYN: That sounds simply divine.
As the couple walks past a DIPPIN' DOTS (The Ice Cream of the Future!) stand, they are suddenly accosted by a BLACK WOMAN. She is dressed in RAGS, and is WEEPING.
BLACK WOMAN: sobbing Oh, what a world, what a world! If only I had a successful, educated black husband! But the white girls! They stole them! They STOLE them from me!
She begins to WAIL and GNASH HER TEETH, but suddenly sees our HAPPY, INTERRACIAL HEROES, and stops.
BLACK WOMAN: YOU! YOU STOLE MY HUSBAND! She launches herself at AERYN
BLACK WOMAN: BITCH, I'LL PULL OUT YOUR WEAVE!
AERYN: THIS ISN'T A WEAVE!
Because in the future, 30 Rock references will still be hilarious
BM 2K1: Miss, unhand my wife! He goes TOTALLY NINJA on the BLACK WOMAN
BM 2K1: Now, I'm sorry, but I adore this woman. I hope one day you can find the love that we share.
BLACK WOMAN: Nooooooooo! You should be miiiiiiiine! All other black men are in jail, apparently! Oh, what a world, what a world, who would have thought some little girl like you could destroy my beautiful racial purity!?
I'M MELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTINGGGGGGGGGGG!
AERYN is not without compassion, however. She blows a small whistle, and a ROBOT DOG suddenly runs out of the bushes.
AERYN: Robone! I want you to stay with this woman-shaped puddle of goo. You're hers now, ok?
ROBONE lets out an adorable synthesized bark, and then begins to engage his comforting and licking subroutines.
BLACK WOMAN: GURGLING, because she is now a PUDDLE OF GOO I'm... so alone. Will... will you love me?
THE SUN sets, causing the sky to alight in an inferno of pinks and oranges, as if the HEAVENS THEMSELVES are celebrating AERYN'S LOVE. But really it's just from all the pollutants in the air.
................................................................................................................................................................................. THE END
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AERYN: Oh, my love! What a wonderful day! I couldn't be happier!
BLACKMAN #20001: Too true, dearest! It's been simply marvelous! What say we take out hoverboards down to the cove after this, what what?
AERYN: That sounds simply divine.
As the couple walks past a DIPPIN' DOTS (The Ice Cream of the Future!) stand, they are suddenly accosted by a BLACK WOMAN. She is dressed in RAGS, and is WEEPING.
BLACK WOMAN: sobbing Oh, what a world, what a world! If only I had a successful, educated black husband! But the white girls! They stole them! They STOLE them from me!
She begins to WAIL and GNASH HER TEETH, but suddenly sees our HAPPY, INTERRACIAL HEROES, and stops.
BLACK WOMAN: YOU! YOU STOLE MY HUSBAND! She launches herself at AERYN
BLACK WOMAN: BITCH, I'LL PULL OUT YOUR WEAVE!
AERYN: THIS ISN'T A WEAVE!
Because in the future, 30 Rock references will still be hilarious
BM 2K1: Miss, unhand my wife! He goes TOTALLY NINJA on the BLACK WOMAN
BM 2K1: Now, I'm sorry, but I adore this woman. I hope one day you can find the love that we share.
BLACK WOMAN: Nooooooooo! You should be miiiiiiiine! All other black men are in jail, apparently! Oh, what a world, what a world, who would have thought some little girl like you could destroy my beautiful racial purity!?
I'M MELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTINGGGGGGGGGGG!
AERYN is not without compassion, however. She blows a small whistle, and a ROBOT DOG suddenly runs out of the bushes.
AERYN: Robone! I want you to stay with this woman-shaped puddle of goo. You're hers now, ok?
ROBONE lets out an adorable synthesized bark, and then begins to engage his comforting and licking subroutines.
BLACK WOMAN: GURGLING, because she is now a PUDDLE OF GOO I'm... so alone. Will... will you love me?
THE SUN sets, causing the sky to alight in an inferno of pinks and oranges, as if the HEAVENS THEMSELVES are celebrating AERYN'S LOVE. But really it's just from all the pollutants in the air.
................................................................................................................................................................................. THE END
I amuse myself.
Interracial dating (in the dating dilemma series)
- 23/03/2011 11:11:14 AM
2111 Views
*NM*
If you limit your dating pool by race you really have no reason to complain
- 23/03/2011 11:57:48 AM
1019 Views
I dated a black girl for nearly 3 years.
- 23/03/2011 12:29:26 PM
1126 Views
- 23/03/2011 12:57:08 PM
1139 Views
- 23/03/2011 12:57:08 PM
1139 Views
And her mother is Muslim.
- 24/03/2011 11:48:24 AM
1051 Views
What's it called? *NM*
- 24/03/2011 10:36:28 PM
551 Views
She said it's called Abu Haifa (sp?)
- 25/03/2011 10:38:13 PM
1059 Views
amazingly enough, I dont believe you.
- 23/03/2011 11:32:26 PM
1158 Views
God help me, I'm agreeing with Dragonsoul. 
- 24/03/2011 09:29:56 PM
1028 Views
- 24/03/2011 09:29:56 PM
1028 Views
I think that would be a poor reason to not date someone
- 23/03/2011 01:07:31 PM
1136 Views
Can you edit your post and take out the cow analogies? Thanks. *NM*
- 23/03/2011 03:31:51 PM
555 Views
I didn't even see the "cow & milk" analogy.
- 24/03/2011 04:03:02 AM
1002 Views
being offensive makes it no less true
- 24/03/2011 01:25:34 PM
1011 Views
It's true that after a certain age, average men have an easier time finding dates
- 24/03/2011 01:31:35 PM
982 Views
It can add extra complications that negatively impact the likelihood of a successful relationship
- 23/03/2011 02:50:39 PM
1037 Views
What I forgot to mention in the post
- 23/03/2011 03:01:04 PM
1000 Views
Re: What I forgot to mention in the post
- 24/03/2011 05:11:11 AM
1064 Views
If you have a lot in common with him and like him and are attracted to him
- 24/03/2011 09:41:01 AM
963 Views
I agree with you.
- 23/03/2011 03:26:02 PM
1047 Views
And my opinion matters more than everyone else here combined! MWAHAHAHAHAHA
- 23/03/2011 03:28:06 PM
979 Views
Most of the other responses are ignoring your reasons.
- 23/03/2011 03:34:56 PM
965 Views
No one should try to think from "the perspective of black women", not even 1 black woman can do that
- 23/03/2011 03:47:34 PM
1010 Views
Re
- 23/03/2011 04:05:20 PM
1137 Views
I'm sure that Aeryn is lovely, but she's not the only lovely white woman in the world
- 24/03/2011 09:43:32 AM
1027 Views
Or
- 23/03/2011 03:47:56 PM
1010 Views
We have no control over how other people act.
- 23/03/2011 04:07:11 PM
1140 Views
I agree completely.
- 23/03/2011 04:17:59 PM
1095 Views
And it's a bit silly to determine for someone else who he should be dating *NM*
- 24/03/2011 09:33:09 AM
515 Views
This has to be one of the stupidest reasons for not dating someone I've ever heard.
- 23/03/2011 03:54:15 PM
1046 Views
Your opinion: less than nothing.
- 23/03/2011 04:10:24 PM
1128 Views
Who are you?
- 23/03/2011 08:37:43 PM
1167 Views
It's extremely unlikely that Tom was offended.
- 23/03/2011 09:04:42 PM
1045 Views
*NM*
I'm not offended, only amused at your poor logic.
- 23/03/2011 09:24:05 PM
1081 Views
- 23/03/2011 09:24:05 PM
1081 Views
*NM*
Ooh that's harsh.
- 24/03/2011 03:48:50 AM
972 Views
This is all I get????
- 24/03/2011 03:54:22 AM
1076 Views
+1, though I probably wouldn't have said it in quite the same way.
- 23/03/2011 11:03:07 PM
1012 Views
Yup.
- 24/03/2011 01:42:16 AM
1109 Views
That's a good analogy.
- 24/03/2011 03:50:17 AM
1100 Views
Shrug. She likes *me*. Plus, Jewish guys love Asian girls, well-known fact.
- 24/03/2011 04:46:56 AM
1005 Views
So it's not her choice who she wants to date, but everyone around her??
- 24/03/2011 09:39:58 AM
1012 Views
What's wrong with wanting to preserve races or ethnic groups?
- 24/03/2011 02:09:02 AM
1071 Views
*butts in*
- 24/03/2011 02:45:26 AM
1068 Views
"It would be wrong, immortal [sic] even".
- 24/03/2011 02:52:21 AM
1099 Views
Or potentially not (directly) from Africa
- 24/03/2011 03:06:36 AM
957 Views
I've only seen "identifies as" when someone is of mixed race. *NM*
- 24/03/2011 03:09:51 AM
507 Views
Re: *butts in*
- 24/03/2011 03:03:14 AM
961 Views
Re: This has to be one of the stupidest reasons for not dating someone I've ever heard.
- 24/03/2011 04:07:36 AM
1058 Views
Are you looking for reasons not to date him, or are you just being overly socially conscience?
- 23/03/2011 08:12:48 PM
1031 Views
<3 You Ana, BUT
- 23/03/2011 08:44:11 PM
1011 Views
I understand what you are saying.
- 23/03/2011 11:04:44 PM
1002 Views
There's not a wealth of eligible men from any race; maybe you should just stop dating entirely. 
- 23/03/2011 11:27:40 PM
962 Views
- 23/03/2011 11:27:40 PM
962 Views
Well, yeah.
- 24/03/2011 04:49:47 AM
869 Views
The critically large word is "if"; your reasoning is setting off massive circular claxons for me.
- 25/03/2011 11:30:15 PM
817 Views
- 25/03/2011 11:30:15 PM
817 Views
he is not a resource, he is a man. *NM*
- 23/03/2011 11:29:37 PM
598 Views
Cock is a resource. *NM*
- 23/03/2011 11:43:39 PM
508 Views
"Efficient allocation of cock?" Oh my, that sounds really wrong. *NM*
- 24/03/2011 04:32:23 AM
530 Views
seriously? that is dumb. date the man. also, it is dehumanising to refer to him as a resource.
- 24/03/2011 12:52:38 AM
1066 Views
Well, according to stand-up comics who specialize in racially based humor...
- 24/03/2011 01:29:35 AM
1046 Views
Practical advice! *NM*
- 24/03/2011 03:58:34 AM
514 Views
... how did you? *NM*
- 24/03/2011 04:31:14 AM
541 Views
I don't know! Our posts are about 1/10 of a second apart, freaky. *NM*
- 24/03/2011 04:35:23 AM
503 Views
But that means if he's OK with it he's a commodity more rare and valuable than gold.
- 25/03/2011 11:37:48 PM
956 Views
- 25/03/2011 11:37:48 PM
956 Views
I present to you: A VISION OF THE FUTURE-UTRE-UTRE-UTRE
- 24/03/2011 02:19:19 AM
1156 Views
*NM*
I am currently dating a black woman...
- 24/03/2011 06:29:03 AM
1019 Views
Its not likely anyone will read this comment since there are so many already
- 24/03/2011 01:12:19 PM
1130 Views
She's not talking about welfare queens, she's talking about well educated black women
- 24/03/2011 01:33:48 PM
1076 Views