Most of the other responses are ignoring your reasons.
Vivien Send a noteboard - 23/03/2011 03:34:56 PM
They're approaching it as a culture clash issue, racism, etc, and not looking it from the perspective of black women in america.
Have you done it? Could you please specify your/the other person's race?
Here's my dilemma. I'm white. (It's nice to meet you.) I recently went out with a guy who identifies as black (African American) - a first for me, which is statistically significant. I feel it would be wrong for me to date this guy because of the dearth of eligible black men. There are anecdotal facts like there are more black men currently in jail than attending college. Black women who are looking to date within their race (and many prefer to, for several reasons) face a well-documented crisis: intelligent, college-educated, professional black women VASTLY outnumber their male peers.
I feel it would be wrong, even immortal, for me to exacerbate that shortage. While I have no preference for his demographical type, many other women would. If I were to date this guy, it would simply an inefficient allocation of resources.
What do you think?
Here's my dilemma. I'm white. (It's nice to meet you.) I recently went out with a guy who identifies as black (African American) - a first for me, which is statistically significant. I feel it would be wrong for me to date this guy because of the dearth of eligible black men. There are anecdotal facts like there are more black men currently in jail than attending college. Black women who are looking to date within their race (and many prefer to, for several reasons) face a well-documented crisis: intelligent, college-educated, professional black women VASTLY outnumber their male peers.
I feel it would be wrong, even immortal, for me to exacerbate that shortage. While I have no preference for his demographical type, many other women would. If I were to date this guy, it would simply an inefficient allocation of resources.
What do you think?
Interracial dating (in the dating dilemma series)
- 23/03/2011 11:11:14 AM
2098 Views
*NM*
If you limit your dating pool by race you really have no reason to complain
- 23/03/2011 11:57:48 AM
1005 Views
I dated a black girl for nearly 3 years.
- 23/03/2011 12:29:26 PM
1113 Views
- 23/03/2011 12:57:08 PM
1128 Views
- 23/03/2011 12:57:08 PM
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And her mother is Muslim.
- 24/03/2011 11:48:24 AM
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What's it called? *NM*
- 24/03/2011 10:36:28 PM
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She said it's called Abu Haifa (sp?)
- 25/03/2011 10:38:13 PM
1047 Views
amazingly enough, I dont believe you.
- 23/03/2011 11:32:26 PM
1144 Views
God help me, I'm agreeing with Dragonsoul. 
- 24/03/2011 09:29:56 PM
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- 24/03/2011 09:29:56 PM
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I think that would be a poor reason to not date someone
- 23/03/2011 01:07:31 PM
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Can you edit your post and take out the cow analogies? Thanks. *NM*
- 23/03/2011 03:31:51 PM
551 Views
I didn't even see the "cow & milk" analogy.
- 24/03/2011 04:03:02 AM
984 Views
being offensive makes it no less true
- 24/03/2011 01:25:34 PM
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It's true that after a certain age, average men have an easier time finding dates
- 24/03/2011 01:31:35 PM
967 Views
It can add extra complications that negatively impact the likelihood of a successful relationship
- 23/03/2011 02:50:39 PM
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What I forgot to mention in the post
- 23/03/2011 03:01:04 PM
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Re: What I forgot to mention in the post
- 24/03/2011 05:11:11 AM
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If you have a lot in common with him and like him and are attracted to him
- 24/03/2011 09:41:01 AM
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I agree with you.
- 23/03/2011 03:26:02 PM
1031 Views
And my opinion matters more than everyone else here combined! MWAHAHAHAHAHA
- 23/03/2011 03:28:06 PM
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Most of the other responses are ignoring your reasons.
- 23/03/2011 03:34:56 PM
953 Views
No one should try to think from "the perspective of black women", not even 1 black woman can do that
- 23/03/2011 03:47:34 PM
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Re
- 23/03/2011 04:05:20 PM
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I'm sure that Aeryn is lovely, but she's not the only lovely white woman in the world
- 24/03/2011 09:43:32 AM
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Or
- 23/03/2011 03:47:56 PM
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We have no control over how other people act.
- 23/03/2011 04:07:11 PM
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I agree completely.
- 23/03/2011 04:17:59 PM
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And it's a bit silly to determine for someone else who he should be dating *NM*
- 24/03/2011 09:33:09 AM
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This has to be one of the stupidest reasons for not dating someone I've ever heard.
- 23/03/2011 03:54:15 PM
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Your opinion: less than nothing.
- 23/03/2011 04:10:24 PM
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Who are you?
- 23/03/2011 08:37:43 PM
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It's extremely unlikely that Tom was offended.
- 23/03/2011 09:04:42 PM
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*NM*
I'm not offended, only amused at your poor logic.
- 23/03/2011 09:24:05 PM
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- 23/03/2011 09:24:05 PM
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*NM*
Ooh that's harsh.
- 24/03/2011 03:48:50 AM
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This is all I get????
- 24/03/2011 03:54:22 AM
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+1, though I probably wouldn't have said it in quite the same way.
- 23/03/2011 11:03:07 PM
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Yup.
- 24/03/2011 01:42:16 AM
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That's a good analogy.
- 24/03/2011 03:50:17 AM
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Shrug. She likes *me*. Plus, Jewish guys love Asian girls, well-known fact.
- 24/03/2011 04:46:56 AM
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So it's not her choice who she wants to date, but everyone around her??
- 24/03/2011 09:39:58 AM
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What's wrong with wanting to preserve races or ethnic groups?
- 24/03/2011 02:09:02 AM
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*butts in*
- 24/03/2011 02:45:26 AM
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"It would be wrong, immortal [sic] even".
- 24/03/2011 02:52:21 AM
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Or potentially not (directly) from Africa
- 24/03/2011 03:06:36 AM
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I've only seen "identifies as" when someone is of mixed race. *NM*
- 24/03/2011 03:09:51 AM
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Re: *butts in*
- 24/03/2011 03:03:14 AM
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Re: This has to be one of the stupidest reasons for not dating someone I've ever heard.
- 24/03/2011 04:07:36 AM
1042 Views
Are you looking for reasons not to date him, or are you just being overly socially conscience?
- 23/03/2011 08:12:48 PM
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<3 You Ana, BUT
- 23/03/2011 08:44:11 PM
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I understand what you are saying.
- 23/03/2011 11:04:44 PM
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There's not a wealth of eligible men from any race; maybe you should just stop dating entirely. 
- 23/03/2011 11:27:40 PM
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- 23/03/2011 11:27:40 PM
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Well, yeah.
- 24/03/2011 04:49:47 AM
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The critically large word is "if"; your reasoning is setting off massive circular claxons for me.
- 25/03/2011 11:30:15 PM
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- 25/03/2011 11:30:15 PM
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he is not a resource, he is a man. *NM*
- 23/03/2011 11:29:37 PM
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Cock is a resource. *NM*
- 23/03/2011 11:43:39 PM
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"Efficient allocation of cock?" Oh my, that sounds really wrong. *NM*
- 24/03/2011 04:32:23 AM
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seriously? that is dumb. date the man. also, it is dehumanising to refer to him as a resource.
- 24/03/2011 12:52:38 AM
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Well, according to stand-up comics who specialize in racially based humor...
- 24/03/2011 01:29:35 AM
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Practical advice! *NM*
- 24/03/2011 03:58:34 AM
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... how did you? *NM*
- 24/03/2011 04:31:14 AM
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I don't know! Our posts are about 1/10 of a second apart, freaky. *NM*
- 24/03/2011 04:35:23 AM
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But that means if he's OK with it he's a commodity more rare and valuable than gold.
- 25/03/2011 11:37:48 PM
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- 25/03/2011 11:37:48 PM
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*NM*
I am currently dating a black woman...
- 24/03/2011 06:29:03 AM
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Its not likely anyone will read this comment since there are so many already
- 24/03/2011 01:12:19 PM
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She's not talking about welfare queens, she's talking about well educated black women
- 24/03/2011 01:33:48 PM
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