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It can add extra complications that negatively impact the likelihood of a successful relationship Helene Send a noteboard - 23/03/2011 02:50:39 PM
Have you done it? Could you please specify your/the other person's race?


Outside my race, I've dated Indian (from India), and black/brown.

Here's my dilemma. I'm white. (It's nice to meet you.) I recently went out with a guy who identifies as black (African American) - a first for me, which is statistically significant.


Are you trying to say that you've dated a lot of people, to make it statistically significant?

I feel it would be wrong for me to date this guy because of the dearth of eligible black men.


I see your point, but it's not your problem. However, if you are uncomfortable with other people (i.e. black women) looking negatively upon your relationship, because you are white and taking up an eligible black man, maybe it's not your cup of tea.

There are anecdotal facts like there are more black men currently in jail than attending college.


That's sad if it's true, but anecdotes aren't facts.

Black women who are looking to date within their race (and many prefer to, for several reasons) face a well-documented crisis: intelligent, college-educated, professional black women VASTLY outnumber their male peers.


That's a problem for them, but again, not for you.

I feel it would be wrong, even immortal, for me to exacerbate that shortage.


There's nothing immoral about dating someone you are interested in, who is interested in you.

While I have no preference for his demographical type, many other women would. If I were to date this guy, it would simply an inefficient allocation of resources.


Maybe you would like his resources to be inefficiently allocated? :winky:

What do you think?


I think that you will have a hard time dealing with black women looking negatively upon your dating a black man, so probably it's not something you'd want to be doing.

I would not give two figs about them, personally.
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Interracial dating (in the dating dilemma series) Aeryn - 23/03/2011 11:11:14 AM 2111 Views
I am not a black woman and I haven't done it ironclad - 23/03/2011 11:24:16 AM 1072 Views
Re: Aeryn - 23/03/2011 11:38:31 AM 1106 Views
Independence Day reference? Good man. *NM* Ghavrel - 23/03/2011 08:28:35 PM 543 Views
john lennon... MalkierKnight - 24/03/2011 01:08:20 PM 1105 Views
If you limit your dating pool by race you really have no reason to complain Camilla - 23/03/2011 11:57:48 AM 1020 Views
I dated a black girl for nearly 3 years. Dragonsoul - 23/03/2011 12:29:26 PM 1127 Views
ironclad - 23/03/2011 12:57:08 PM 1140 Views
LMAO Jens, you know me too well Aisha - 23/03/2011 11:30:35 PM 1025 Views
And her mother is Muslim. Dragonsoul - 24/03/2011 11:48:24 AM 1052 Views
What's it called? *NM* Legolas - 24/03/2011 10:36:28 PM 552 Views
please give him a moment to google an answer. *NM* Aisha - 25/03/2011 11:04:02 AM 557 Views
She said it's called Abu Haifa (sp?) Dragonsoul - 25/03/2011 10:38:13 PM 1059 Views
Hm, okay. Legolas - 26/03/2011 12:16:02 AM 1181 Views
That was it, Abu Hanifa. I'm poor with Arabic. Dragonsoul - 26/03/2011 01:08:12 AM 1105 Views
amazingly enough, I dont believe you. Aisha - 23/03/2011 11:32:26 PM 1159 Views
I'd prove it to you. Dragonsoul - 24/03/2011 11:47:33 AM 1020 Views
God help me, I'm agreeing with Dragonsoul. Ghavrel - 24/03/2011 09:29:56 PM 1029 Views
I think he is making it up for the benefit of this comunity Aisha - 24/03/2011 10:03:21 PM 1133 Views
Sometimes I worry about "this community"... Joel - 25/03/2011 11:33:17 PM 1222 Views
I think that would be a poor reason to not date someone random thoughts - 23/03/2011 01:07:31 PM 1136 Views
Can you edit your post and take out the cow analogies? Thanks. *NM* Vivien - 23/03/2011 03:31:51 PM 556 Views
I didn't even see the "cow & milk" analogy. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:03:02 AM 1003 Views
being offensive makes it no less true random thoughts - 24/03/2011 01:25:34 PM 1011 Views
It's true that after a certain age, average men have an easier time finding dates Helene - 24/03/2011 01:31:35 PM 983 Views
I don't date so I don't have personal experience random thoughts - 24/03/2011 03:29:50 PM 998 Views
I don't date either... :-) Helene - 24/03/2011 03:42:33 PM 1209 Views
I think you're doing him a disservice. nossy - 23/03/2011 02:16:59 PM 1103 Views
This. Plus, to try to frame it more in A's terms... Sareitha Sedai - 23/03/2011 03:05:55 PM 1032 Views
It can add extra complications that negatively impact the likelihood of a successful relationship Helene - 23/03/2011 02:50:39 PM 1038 Views
What I forgot to mention in the post Helene - 23/03/2011 03:01:04 PM 1001 Views
Re: What I forgot to mention in the post Aeryn - 24/03/2011 05:11:11 AM 1065 Views
If you have a lot in common with him and like him and are attracted to him Helene - 24/03/2011 09:41:01 AM 964 Views
I think you should date him. Palatine - 23/03/2011 03:02:56 PM 988 Views
I think you should date this guy if you like him. Morgawse - 23/03/2011 03:07:30 PM 989 Views
I think that you're doing both of you a disservice. Jeordam - 23/03/2011 03:09:29 PM 1045 Views
I agree with you. Vivien - 23/03/2011 03:26:02 PM 1048 Views
And my opinion matters more than everyone else here combined! MWAHAHAHAHAHA Vivien - 23/03/2011 03:28:06 PM 980 Views
Well, you know your sis better than we do... ironclad - 23/03/2011 03:48:12 PM 1016 Views
Because you never know. Vivien - 23/03/2011 04:00:44 PM 1182 Views
Geez you know just the right things to say. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 03:38:34 AM 1038 Views
LOL. ( Yes I really did laugh out loud) *NM* Vivien - 24/03/2011 03:55:22 AM 534 Views
Most of the other responses are ignoring your reasons. Vivien - 23/03/2011 03:34:56 PM 966 Views
No one should try to think from "the perspective of black women", not even 1 black woman can do that Helene - 23/03/2011 03:47:34 PM 1011 Views
Re Vivien - 23/03/2011 04:05:20 PM 1138 Views
I'm sure that Aeryn is lovely, but she's not the only lovely white woman in the world Helene - 24/03/2011 09:43:32 AM 1028 Views
Or nossy - 23/03/2011 03:47:56 PM 1011 Views
We have no control over how other people act. Vivien - 23/03/2011 04:07:11 PM 1141 Views
I agree completely. nossy - 23/03/2011 04:17:59 PM 1096 Views
And it's a bit silly to determine for someone else who he should be dating *NM* Helene - 24/03/2011 09:33:09 AM 516 Views
This has to be one of the stupidest reasons for not dating someone I've ever heard. Tom - 23/03/2011 03:54:15 PM 1047 Views
Your opinion: less than nothing. Vivien - 23/03/2011 04:10:24 PM 1129 Views
Who are you? Dark Knight - 23/03/2011 08:37:43 PM 1168 Views
It's extremely unlikely that Tom was offended. Vivien - 23/03/2011 09:04:42 PM 1046 Views
I'm glad you're back, by the way. These threads are great. *NM* Ghavrel - 23/03/2011 09:15:41 PM 550 Views
Thank you. *NM* Vivien - 24/03/2011 04:01:08 AM 554 Views
I'm not offended, only amused at your poor logic. Tom - 23/03/2011 09:24:05 PM 1082 Views
That's lawyer logic! Vivien - 24/03/2011 03:50:37 AM 1011 Views
Is there any other kind? *NM* Tom - 24/03/2011 02:05:27 PM 551 Views
Ooh that's harsh. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 03:48:50 AM 973 Views
This is all I get???? Vivien - 24/03/2011 03:54:22 AM 1077 Views
Oh, I appreciate. There's cake in the fridge *NM* Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:27:20 AM 516 Views
You two are sooo cute! *NM* ironclad - 24/03/2011 07:29:12 PM 418 Views
+1, though I probably wouldn't have said it in quite the same way. Joel - 23/03/2011 11:03:07 PM 1013 Views
Yup. beetnemesis - 24/03/2011 01:42:16 AM 1110 Views
That's a good analogy. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 03:50:17 AM 1101 Views
Shrug. She likes *me*. Plus, Jewish guys love Asian girls, well-known fact. beetnemesis - 24/03/2011 04:46:56 AM 1006 Views
So it's not her choice who she wants to date, but everyone around her?? Helene - 24/03/2011 09:39:58 AM 1013 Views
What's wrong with wanting to preserve races or ethnic groups? ßelals Girl - 24/03/2011 02:09:02 AM 1072 Views
When its the black race? *NM* Urza - 24/03/2011 02:21:13 AM 552 Views
You're such an ass *NM* ßelals Girl - 24/03/2011 02:52:12 AM 526 Views
*butts in* nossy - 24/03/2011 02:45:26 AM 1068 Views
"It would be wrong, immortal [sic] even". Tom - 24/03/2011 02:52:21 AM 1100 Views
Or potentially not (directly) from Africa nossy - 24/03/2011 03:06:36 AM 957 Views
I've only seen "identifies as" when someone is of mixed race. *NM* Tom - 24/03/2011 03:09:51 AM 508 Views
You're absolutely right. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:14:49 AM 1039 Views
Then your argument is even sillier, as mixed race is too white Helene - 24/03/2011 09:50:15 AM 923 Views
Is he "identifying as" black in a cultural context as well? Tom - 24/03/2011 02:04:43 PM 903 Views
Re: *butts in* ßelals Girl - 24/03/2011 03:03:14 AM 962 Views
You're a damn genius! nossy - 24/03/2011 03:09:26 AM 1061 Views
I don't feel like one ßelals Girl - 25/03/2011 01:17:07 AM 1029 Views
Re: This has to be one of the stupidest reasons for not dating someone I've ever heard. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:07:36 AM 1059 Views
That could be argued in the opposite way just as easily. Helene - 24/03/2011 09:48:16 AM 993 Views
Huh Aeryn - 25/03/2011 11:15:58 AM 1009 Views
Are you looking for reasons not to date him, or are you just being overly socially conscience? Beqi - 23/03/2011 08:12:48 PM 1032 Views
Ha. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:17:26 AM 1017 Views
Heh, that really is the best thing *NM* beetnemesis - 24/03/2011 04:48:07 AM 550 Views
...wat. Is this a serious post? Ghavrel - 23/03/2011 08:23:04 PM 1016 Views
Kinda? Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:23:12 AM 1077 Views
I just broke up with my Pakistani girlfriend Dark Knight - 23/03/2011 08:24:52 PM 982 Views
Heh heh heh heh snoopcester - 23/03/2011 08:25:06 PM 882 Views
Ha, I didn't even see that typo. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 05:14:40 AM 913 Views
<3 You Ana, BUT Urza - 23/03/2011 08:44:11 PM 1012 Views
wait. did you..? Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:37:23 AM 1031 Views
Your taken aback by this why? Urza - 24/03/2011 06:30:46 AM 1080 Views
I thought this was a great post. Legolas - 23/03/2011 10:26:08 PM 1062 Views
Glad I could entertain. *NM* Aeryn - 24/03/2011 03:47:48 AM 490 Views
I understand what you are saying. Tashmere - 23/03/2011 11:04:44 PM 1003 Views
An ally! Score! Vivien - 24/03/2011 03:56:53 AM 984 Views
Aw, you're a darling. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:26:39 AM 1038 Views
Also somebody brought up the valid point of his rights. Tashmere - 26/03/2011 11:55:49 PM 1020 Views
There's not a wealth of eligible men from any race; maybe you should just stop dating entirely. Joel - 23/03/2011 11:27:40 PM 963 Views
Well, yeah. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:49:47 AM 870 Views
The critically large word is "if"; your reasoning is setting off massive circular claxons for me. Joel - 25/03/2011 11:30:15 PM 818 Views
he is not a resource, he is a man. *NM* Aisha - 23/03/2011 11:29:37 PM 599 Views
Cock is a resource. *NM* Urza - 23/03/2011 11:43:39 PM 509 Views
"Efficient allocation of cock?" Oh my, that sounds really wrong. *NM* Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:32:23 AM 531 Views
seriously? that is dumb. date the man. also, it is dehumanising to refer to him as a resource. temeraire - 24/03/2011 12:52:38 AM 1067 Views
This is exactly it. Dan - 24/03/2011 04:02:10 AM 1076 Views
I didn't quite. I was talking about the economic principle. *NM* Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:42:57 AM 519 Views
<--Black Guy Post Daiyon - 24/03/2011 12:57:13 AM 1150 Views
Re: Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:53:07 AM 1068 Views
Um. rebelaessedai - 24/03/2011 01:00:47 AM 1166 Views
Well, according to stand-up comics who specialize in racially based humor... TaskmasterJack - 24/03/2011 01:29:35 AM 1047 Views
Practical advice. I like it. Aeryn - 24/03/2011 03:58:24 AM 1077 Views
Practical advice! *NM* Vivien - 24/03/2011 03:58:34 AM 515 Views
... how did you? *NM* Aeryn - 24/03/2011 04:31:14 AM 542 Views
I don't know! Our posts are about 1/10 of a second apart, freaky. *NM* Vivien - 24/03/2011 04:35:23 AM 504 Views
1/6 of a minute. But it's still a comical coincidence. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 24/03/2011 09:52:19 PM 528 Views
But that means if he's OK with it he's a commodity more rare and valuable than gold. Joel - 25/03/2011 11:37:48 PM 957 Views
I present to you: A VISION OF THE FUTURE-UTRE-UTRE-UTRE beetnemesis - 24/03/2011 02:19:19 AM 1156 Views
Oh, that was awesome *NM* Aeryn - 24/03/2011 03:37:01 AM 534 Views
+ 10 best post ever. I can't believe how funny that was. *NM* Timthetrolloc - 24/03/2011 03:54:39 AM 586 Views
What just happened? *NM* Ghavrel - 24/03/2011 04:04:45 AM 500 Views
*NM* ironclad - 24/03/2011 08:32:36 AM 438 Views
Awesome *NM* Stephen - 24/03/2011 09:03:13 AM 618 Views
I am currently dating a black woman... MightyYT - 24/03/2011 06:29:03 AM 1020 Views
...I always figured your name was a Snow Crash reference *NM* beetnemesis - 24/03/2011 03:48:53 PM 534 Views
I have had the nickname longer than that has been out. *NM* MightyYT - 24/03/2011 07:08:02 PM 552 Views
Don't date him. Stephen - 24/03/2011 09:44:30 AM 1019 Views
Its not likely anyone will read this comment since there are so many already MalkierKnight - 24/03/2011 01:12:19 PM 1131 Views
She's not talking about welfare queens, she's talking about well educated black women Helene - 24/03/2011 01:33:48 PM 1077 Views
It is. *NM* Ghavrel - 24/03/2011 09:33:01 PM 504 Views
this might help you understand what she is talking about random thoughts - 25/03/2011 02:24:35 PM 1038 Views
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