The Bible clearly states that on the 8th Day, after God rested, when He came out and saw what a mess of things we'd made he created duct tape to to repair things and coffee that we might labor longer. It's very clear on this:
And on the dawn of the eighth did the angel Gabriel awaken The Lord with many a horn blast and did give unto Him the Holy Triple Espresso, and said he to The Lord "Behold! Man hast wrought great damage up Thy Works, Oh Lord!" and The Lord did reach out to the Tree of Eternal Energy [most scholars believe the correct translation is 'bush'] and tookest down some seeds and speaketh He unto Gabriel "Go now, and spread these seeds in the land that shall be known as Columbia, that mortal man may one day have this ambrosia", and thus did The Lord give unto men the Holy Drink Coffee.
I'm not sure I remember all that, but you clearly know Stuff, so I'll take your word for it.
Would I be happy w/o coffee?
18/03/2011 06:39:50 PM
- 1989 Views
So now your name is going to be Nossy Noopcester?
18/03/2011 06:45:21 PM
- 1062 Views
As acetastic as that name is, No.
18/03/2011 06:53:36 PM
- 875 Views
God help us all.
18/03/2011 07:10:07 PM
- 1018 Views
18/03/2011 07:26:05 PM
- 870 Views
Somebody has to think of the children!
18/03/2011 08:23:27 PM
- 847 Views
Oh my gosh. I hadn't even gotten that far. Prospective grandmas and grandpas must be drooling
20/03/2011 07:44:17 PM
- 1045 Views
No! Coffee is God's greatest gift to mankind!
18/03/2011 08:17:53 PM
- 1031 Views
Mmhmm!
21/03/2011 01:52:22 AM
- 1029 Views
Who on earth would marry someone from another country that they met online?
18/03/2011 08:20:37 PM
- 946 Views
And he didn't even have to wear a kilt to woo his bride. Unfair. *NM*
19/03/2011 12:55:36 AM
- 524 Views
No idea.
21/03/2011 01:54:43 AM
- 1021 Views
Re: No idea.
21/03/2011 10:14:26 AM
- 895 Views
Nope,
21/03/2011 11:12:47 AM
- 984 Views
Re: Nope,
21/03/2011 09:41:41 PM
- 1026 Views
Re: Nope,
21/03/2011 09:45:05 PM
- 1036 Views
Mine either, honestly. *NM*
21/03/2011 10:00:30 PM
- 494 Views
Your complexion and hair color is probably best suited to Belle from Beauty and the Beast. *NM*
21/03/2011 10:07:25 PM
- 507 Views
That's fine - she's fully clothed! *NM*
21/03/2011 10:16:39 PM
- 518 Views
What awful Disney porn have you been watching?!
21/03/2011 10:27:30 PM
- 981 Views
Um, Jasmine doesn't have much more covering than Ariel.
21/03/2011 10:31:53 PM
- 910 Views
Ariel wears nothing made of cloth at all and is naked except for clams strapped to her nipples.
21/03/2011 10:51:20 PM
- 983 Views
Ech, no.
21/03/2011 03:34:02 PM
- 801 Views
Re: Ech, no.
21/03/2011 09:42:24 PM
- 1038 Views
Stop trying to trick me with real anecdotes.
21/03/2011 10:01:18 PM
- 1028 Views
Re: Stop trying to trick me with real anecdotes.
21/03/2011 10:10:05 PM
- 938 Views
News flash!
21/03/2011 10:24:02 PM
- 1034 Views
Re: News flash!
21/03/2011 10:26:05 PM
- 794 Views
Congratulations! I also didn't know you were an item, at all...
18/03/2011 09:21:25 PM
- 1056 Views
Re: Congratulations! I also didn't know you were an item, at all...
19/03/2011 12:57:54 AM
- 1028 Views
Well, I don't drink coffee and I'm happy.
18/03/2011 11:50:26 PM
- 989 Views
Haha, I KNEW IT!
19/03/2011 12:50:02 AM
- 938 Views
Re: Haha, I KNEW IT!
19/03/2011 01:00:00 AM
- 954 Views
Re: Haha, I KNEW IT!
19/03/2011 01:01:54 AM
- 1061 Views
Well, it's easy to see what he sees in you... Smart, pretty, funny... But as for John...
19/03/2011 01:02:29 AM
- 928 Views
Other people's responses lead me to think this is not a joke.
19/03/2011 01:04:02 AM
- 854 Views
Re: Other people's responses lead me to think this is not a joke.
19/03/2011 01:36:45 AM
- 1022 Views
Congrats, Jen and John *NM*
19/03/2011 02:15:06 AM
- 523 Views
Congrats
19/03/2011 01:57:47 PM
- 973 Views
Thanks Larry.
21/03/2011 02:21:26 AM
- 1030 Views
Ha!
21/03/2011 10:21:48 PM
- 934 Views
It was winter! And raining. I don't particularly consider being struck by lightning to be an
21/03/2011 10:25:45 PM
- 900 Views
that's lovely! congratulations... i also had no clue, but it's because we aren't friends on fb. *NM*
20/03/2011 02:14:13 AM
- 468 Views
Congratulations
20/03/2011 10:00:46 AM
- 947 Views
Thanks, and ew, no. It won't stay in my brain. I'm not sure it even gets past the eyes. *NM*
21/03/2011 02:34:25 AM
- 498 Views
No, you wouldn't. And if you're coming over here to stay - bring me some!
20/03/2011 12:31:12 PM
- 919 Views
Re: No, you wouldn't. And if you're coming over here to stay - bring me some!
20/03/2011 01:19:38 PM
- 896 Views
Does this mean you'll be drinking tea in the future?
20/03/2011 02:18:15 PM
- 949 Views
I drink tea now, but I'm pretty sure coffee will have to remain top dog.
21/03/2011 02:38:10 AM
- 988 Views
20/03/2011 06:58:34 PM
- 838 Views
Thank you Ave. Those better be some totally organic best wishes! *NM*
21/03/2011 02:42:20 AM
- 491 Views
Are you serious? Because this is not the type of thing that you should say and then tell me you were
20/03/2011 07:41:27 PM
- 943 Views
I just want to make it clear that I had nothing to do with this joke and it is all Nossy's fault!
20/03/2011 08:40:33 PM
- 948 Views
I kind of figured you already were. :/
21/03/2011 04:14:15 AM
- 918 Views
Ah, he knew you wouldn't run away into the streets once you were in your PJs. Congratulations! *NM*
23/03/2011 02:03:13 AM
- 412 Views