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Re: For you love experts out there: One vs Many Zalis Send a noteboard - 09/02/2011 08:30:51 PM
1. Is there one person out there meant for you (soulmate) or an endless combination of suitable choices?


There are billions of people on this planet. Out of those, there are a number of people who would make excellent mates. In other words: No, I do not believe in a single soul mate.

2. If soulmates did exist, what do you think the odds would be of actually finding them?


Depending on one's worldview, you're either counting on providence or raw odds.

3. How long after a breakup/divorce is it acceptable to start dating again?


As long as it takes for your wounds to heal, IMO. Time does not heal all wounds. (it merely dulls the pain, if left unaddressed)

4. If you come out of a long-term relationship wanting to date right away, what do you think that means in regards to your feelings for that person?


I think it means you want to be fixed, to move on. Again, I don't recommend it. We're not good mates until we can learn who we are and are alright living on our own. (i.e., to avoid codependency)

5. How would you describe your romantic feelings; soft puddy or steel?


Somewhere in the middle... maybe clay. Feelings are warm and fuzzy, though we'd do well to remind ourselves that real love is a choice, not an emotion. Emotions surely accompany it, but they can be fickle and fleeting.

6. In relation to the question above, describe your openness to your partner on a scale of 1-10. One being a closed book and 10 being open as a flower towards the sun.


Probably a 7 or 8. I'm pretty open, though I keep certain topics for later stages. (like engagement -- I'm a long-term kind of guy)

7. Do you agree or disagree with this statement: "If couples really knew what the other person was thinking, there would be no couples."


Disagree, because that assumes all couples are duplicitous. People doing it right are honest about intentions and able to discuss things with a person. The facades appear when we jump right into the dating scenario and essentially lie to impress others.

8. On a scale of 1-10, rate the importance of sex in a relationship.


IMO, not important until marriage, because I'm keeping it for then. (no, I am not 14) I don't want to hear crap about test driving a car before buying, because any couple with a total attraction factor will have no issue with making love. For what it's worth, though, I think my girlfriend is gorgeous. What we've done is made that commitment and are continuing to stick with it. Yes, it can work; yes, your relationship can be all the stronger for it. The problem is that many, many people today view sex as the ultimate expression of romantic love. (but surprise, surprise -- it's not)

9. Do you always remember the first person you loved?


Yes. That's why we need to guard our hearts.

10. When it comes to the end of a relationship; is it better to burn out or fade away?


If you mean a clean break or "staying friends," I'd always stay a clean break. You may be friends again in the long run, but maintaining contact in the short term only keeps you from moving on and growing as a person.
The sword might be grateful to the forge fire, but never fond of it.
This message last edited by Zalis on 09/02/2011 at 09:14:54 PM
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For you love experts out there: One vs Many Dark Knight - 09/02/2011 07:23:10 PM 724 Views
I wouldn't exactly call myself an expert, but what the hell. Legolas - 09/02/2011 07:50:09 PM 558 Views
That has to be a record for most tongue faces Dark Knight - 09/02/2011 08:03:02 PM 570 Views
What can I say, I'm not one for using original smileys. *NM* Legolas - 09/02/2011 09:07:51 PM 211 Views
I don't consider myself and expert but I get as much practice as I can random thoughts - 09/02/2011 08:27:08 PM 471 Views
Re: I don't consider myself and expert but I get as much practice as I can Dark Knight - 09/02/2011 09:22:10 PM 628 Views
Re: For you love experts out there: One vs Many Zalis - 09/02/2011 08:30:51 PM 690 Views
Re: For you love experts out there: One vs Many Dark Knight - 09/02/2011 09:19:52 PM 605 Views
We didn't have enough good surveys here lately. Thank you! ironclad - 09/02/2011 08:58:51 PM 592 Views
I thought the same thing so I came up with this! Dark Knight - 09/02/2011 09:15:11 PM 507 Views
Since I am the ultimate expert... </sarcasm> Bramhodoulos - 09/02/2011 08:59:05 PM 617 Views
Re: Since I am the ultimate expert... </sarcasm> Dark Knight - 09/02/2011 09:17:25 PM 628 Views
Ah, oh, well, in that case Bramhodoulos - 09/02/2011 09:19:25 PM 677 Views
Having read about love in a book once, I feel qualified to reply. TaskmasterJack - 09/02/2011 10:35:58 PM 586 Views
You, sir, are a comic genius. If I'd been drinking milk it would've shot out of my nose! Dark Knight - 09/02/2011 10:43:28 PM 636 Views
Behold the truth Urza - 09/02/2011 11:04:30 PM 541 Views
Hm. I wouldn't call myself an expert. Here are my answers, for what they're worth. Avendesora - 10/02/2011 01:08:10 AM 578 Views
I know nothing, I see nothing. StarrBecca - 10/02/2011 02:46:11 AM 478 Views
Wow, you got cynical Urza - 10/02/2011 03:43:24 AM 464 Views
Eh? nossy - 10/02/2011 11:22:56 AM 580 Views
What we talk about when we talk about love. snoopcester - 10/02/2011 11:45:27 AM 616 Views
Re: For you love experts out there: One vs Many Palatine - 10/02/2011 05:32:52 PM 467 Views
Re: love as private irrationality vs public rationality. (beat.) - 11/02/2011 11:00:15 AM 567 Views
Seems an appropriate place to say: Joel - 06/03/2011 06:29:20 AM 441 Views
No expert but I know how it works for me Jessie - 16/02/2011 10:16:45 PM 651 Views
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