first off, all parents are mental...it just comes with the territory. But I actually agree with most of the article. I have to admit to a bit of hovering at the playground, but it's not out of a fear of my child falling down or anything. It's because I'm afraid if I don't have my kids in my sight whenever we leave the house, some maniac will run off with them. My kids are pretty little though...maybe that will get better as they get older, but probably not. I'll just have to learn to let go.
Also, as far as preventing kids from failing, I agree that is not good for them. They need to learn how to handle failure. But you don't want a kid to feel like a failure all the time either. (And this is from someone about to graduate with a teaching degree) Kids need to experience failure, but they also need to succeed. A good parent or teacher will help them find areas they can succeed in, and teach them how to handle it when they don't.
Also, as far as preventing kids from failing, I agree that is not good for them. They need to learn how to handle failure. But you don't want a kid to feel like a failure all the time either. (And this is from someone about to graduate with a teaching degree) Kids need to experience failure, but they also need to succeed. A good parent or teacher will help them find areas they can succeed in, and teach them how to handle it when they don't.
It's certainly a balance, especially with young kids; I'm sure you're well aware as both teacher and parent of the importance of finding them tasks that are challenging without being impossible. Failure shouldn't be the norm, obviously, for either expectation or reality, but the best mindset seems to be one of confidence that admits the possibility of failure. Long term success is often less about never failing than about the confidence and intelligence to overcome obstacles that result in momentary failure.
Not to downplay real and justified concerns about child abduction, but the media cultivated fears about abduction and molestation worries and sometimes annoys me. Statistically, children are far more likely to be abducted and/or abused by close family members than strangers, so while it's a legitimate playground concern, it's not the epidemic that Dateline and others of that ilk make it out to be. That's not to imply I think you're paranoid (though there are certainly paranoid parents out there) and I definitely encourage parental monitoring; even if there's no risk of abduction there's still the risk of kids running into traffic and the like if parents are inattentive or too far away to intervene should it be necessary. I'm reminded of the story recently posted here about the four year old girl being sued by the family of a woman whose hip was broken when the child ran into her on her tricycle. The woman was still recovering from the broken hip when she died, so she basically spent the last months of her life as an invalid simply because a couple moms were too busy chatting to stop their kids from racing on a city sidewalk, or prevent them striking a pedestrian hard enought to knock her down when they did. I think it's absurd to hold a four year old responsible for that, but the parent is very much responsible. Monitoring is important, and staying close enough to intervene if/when it's necessary, but so is accurately determining what makes that intervention "necessary" and what's a situation a child can and should deal with unassisted. They may still make the wrong decision, but it remains important that they have the opportunity to correct that rather than having someone do it for them.
I didn't intend a shot at all modern parents any more than the article did. It's perplexing and frustrating though that many (though not all) parents want to run every aspect of a childs life that should be the childs, then allow the child to run amok in all the areas where parental involvement is necessary. If Little Johnny get an F on his report card it's time to call the school board and petition for the principal to be fired, but if he's breaking peoples windows as a hobby, well, boys will be boys and we should just let him "express himself". It's so bass ackwards no wonder there's so much alienation and anti-social behavior in modern society, but that's ultimately not the fault of some faceless "society", rather the fault of the many inviduals of which that society consists.
Honorbound and honored to be Bonded to Mahtaliel Sedai
Last First in wotmania Chat
Slightly better than chocolate.
Love still can't be coerced.
Please Don't Eat the Newbies!
LoL. Be well, RAFOlk.
Last First in wotmania Chat
Slightly better than chocolate.
Love still can't be coerced.
Please Don't Eat the Newbies!
LoL. Be well, RAFOlk.
This message last edited by Joel on 07/01/2011 at 12:41:03 AM
Child Psychology: Are Todays Parents Mental?
06/01/2011 11:21:53 PM
- 1129 Views
Very interesting article, thanks for posting.
07/01/2011 01:36:51 AM
- 723 Views
Welcome, and I'll pass that along to the person through whom I learned of it.
07/01/2011 02:19:07 AM
- 497 Views
I just began thinking about how my parents raised me as I was reading this.
07/01/2011 02:24:33 AM
- 626 Views
The middle way seems best; 'grats to you and your folks.
07/01/2011 06:35:50 PM
- 491 Views
Thanks Joel. And I agree with you that most of the time, the middle way is best.
07/01/2011 06:52:10 PM
- 432 Views
meh
07/01/2011 02:34:47 PM
- 637 Views
I disagree; even to the extent that's the real problem it's still down to indulgent parents.
07/01/2011 04:52:26 PM
- 695 Views
exterem paretnal involment is being overstated
08/01/2011 03:10:09 AM
- 631 Views
It's extreme indulgence, not involvement.
08/01/2011 03:44:43 AM
- 654 Views
extreme indulgence is a problem but with one exception those were not good examples
08/01/2011 04:47:05 PM
- 661 Views
"Kids need to feel badly sometimes"? What should we do? Dip their fingers in acid?
07/01/2011 03:00:17 PM
- 561 Views
It would work, and definitely put an end to all this touchy-feeliness.
07/01/2011 04:47:16 PM
- 509 Views
I would classify editing the N-word out of Huckleberry Finn to apply to this issue...
07/01/2011 11:26:05 PM
- 596 Views
"Undiplomatic" is one thing, "inflammatory" quite another.
07/01/2011 11:51:03 PM
- 523 Views
Re: "Undiplomatic" is one thing, "inflammatory" quite another.
09/01/2011 12:20:47 AM
- 624 Views
If the stakes are small or there's no alternative I don't mind going with your gut.
09/01/2011 01:20:42 AM
- 595 Views
Re: If the stakes are small or there's no alternative I don't mind going with your gut.
09/01/2011 01:28:28 AM
- 533 Views
Sadly so.
09/01/2011 01:32:23 AM
- 535 Views
Re: Sadly so.
09/01/2011 01:41:39 AM
- 479 Views
Hadn't seen that, no.
09/01/2011 11:21:20 PM
- 630 Views
Re: Hadn't seen that, no.
10/01/2011 04:59:53 PM
- 660 Views
Does M$ have U2 and Steves permission to use their names in that patent application?
10/01/2011 07:46:54 PM
- 610 Views
Re: Does M$ have U2 and Steves permission to use their names in that patent application?
10/01/2011 09:54:50 PM
- 614 Views
well your reply shows us what we end up with if we have over indulgent parnets
10/01/2011 04:08:38 PM
- 581 Views
It's a good article, but contains a bit of oversimplification.
11/01/2011 09:36:35 PM
- 572 Views
Actually, I tend to agree, 'cos I somewhat agree with rt it diagnoses symptoms better than problems
11/01/2011 11:53:48 PM
- 768 Views