'Twas the night 'fore RAFOmas, when all over the boards
The newbies were flocking in poorly spelled hordes
Some smilies were flung all about without care,
As proof that Trzaska had already been there;
The posters had gone quite some time without meds,
So visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And Danu in her 'kerchief, (and not a lot more),
Had just settled down for a long winter's snore,
When on the homepage there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the quotes to see what was the matter.
Several videos I opened with Flash,
Until my browser was ready to crash.
The high system reqs for my new installed cam,
Made me wait quite a while for the fresh written spam,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a glowing red link to a page about beer!
With its homely host, so tired and dead,
I knew in a moment it must be Nebhead.
More rapid than eagles his trolls on they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Larry! Rebekah! now, TaskmasterJack!
On, Jacob! on Aemon! Fanatic on crack!
To the top of the board! to the quotes on the wall!
Announcements! Announcements! Announcements for all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the Announcements the coursers they flew,
With a call for pledges, and yeah, Nebhead, too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard something lame
The burning and smoking of each little flame,
As I clicked on the link, and opened the page,
Right there was Nebhead, who looked good for his age.
He was dressed all in posts, from his head to his foot,
The flames left him tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of features he had flung with a whirl,
And he looked like a hacker just starting with Perl.
His eyes were quite sunken! his dimples were scary!
His cheeks like a virgin just losing her cherry!
His little troll mouth was like a helping of mash,
And the five o'clock shadow was sprinkled with ash;
A dusting of cheetoes were all round his lips,
And its stains could be found on his lap and his hips;
He had a tired face and a little round belly,
That wheezed when he sighed like a long song by Nelly.
He was chubby and plump, dusty as a shelf,
And I felt sorry for him, in spite of myself;
A glare of his eye and a twist of his neck,
Let me know if I spoke that he would give me heck;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Put in just a few features that lazy old jerk,
And laying his finger gave click on the mouse,
And giving a nod, went elsewhere to browse;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a holler,
And dragged away Literatedog, chained with a collar..
But I heard him exclaim, fit to end this poem,
"Merry RAFOmas to all! Now leave me alone!"

(Merry Christmas, everyone, especially to Nebhead and all you lovely Admins. I kid. Why? Because I love.)