If that's even what it is. I'll explain. Roommate's father comes over every day (or nearly) to clean. Roommate is 30-something, and does not want father to come over to clean. Roommate has had countless talks with father, to no avail.
What is that? How does one fix that? My roomie usually wavers between anger and fatalistic acceptance. He feels he has no options but to either let it happen, or take his father's key. Neither is what he wants, because the latter will obviously upset his dad.
I've given every piece of advice I can - tell him to go volunteer, tell him it upsets you, tell him you want to take care of yourself, etc. The roommate has already been over that with him. His father seems completely unable to stop "helping."
Anyone come across this kind of thing? Is there anything to be done? I'm all out of fresh advice, and it has started to bother me on his behalf. I actually sort of said something to his dad this morning, because he had gutted his bedroom - all the laundry, all the papers and whatever on the floor, all the bedclothes, cleaned. When I walked through the kitchen, he (father) laughed and said that he had to hurry and get this kind of thing done when roommate wasn't around. I couldn't help but to ask if roommate had wanted him to do all that. He said, "Sometimes he needs help." I said, "Heh, he's thirty." It kind of embarrassed him, and then he started telling me how old he actually was (32, 34, no, 32).
I would like to help, but maybe there is no help. Anyone have any ideas?
What is that? How does one fix that? My roomie usually wavers between anger and fatalistic acceptance. He feels he has no options but to either let it happen, or take his father's key. Neither is what he wants, because the latter will obviously upset his dad.
I've given every piece of advice I can - tell him to go volunteer, tell him it upsets you, tell him you want to take care of yourself, etc. The roommate has already been over that with him. His father seems completely unable to stop "helping."
Anyone come across this kind of thing? Is there anything to be done? I'm all out of fresh advice, and it has started to bother me on his behalf. I actually sort of said something to his dad this morning, because he had gutted his bedroom - all the laundry, all the papers and whatever on the floor, all the bedclothes, cleaned. When I walked through the kitchen, he (father) laughed and said that he had to hurry and get this kind of thing done when roommate wasn't around. I couldn't help but to ask if roommate had wanted him to do all that. He said, "Sometimes he needs help." I said, "Heh, he's thirty." It kind of embarrassed him, and then he started telling me how old he actually was (32, 34, no, 32).
I would like to help, but maybe there is no help. Anyone have any ideas?
Does anyone understand co-dependency?
29/10/2010 03:59:52 PM
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It sounds like the man may have some OCD cleaning problems as well.
29/10/2010 04:13:28 PM
- 558 Views
I dunno.
29/10/2010 04:26:19 PM
- 610 Views
Re: I dunno.
29/10/2010 05:11:59 PM
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I don't think it's offensive.
29/10/2010 05:19:03 PM
- 554 Views
well..even if it isn't offensive by nature, his dad will probably still be offended
29/10/2010 05:25:54 PM
- 551 Views
Um... I disagree with "what he's gettingout of it".
30/10/2010 12:48:56 PM
- 537 Views
The father needs to find his own drive, but you probably aren't the one to fix that. *NM*
29/10/2010 06:11:57 PM
- 281 Views
Tell your roomate to sh*t or get off the pot
29/10/2010 07:37:35 PM
- 530 Views
that sounds, er, nice and all
30/10/2010 03:07:06 PM
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sorry, but it sounds like the time for "niceness" has long passed
30/10/2010 07:28:56 PM
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