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Holy role reversal, Batman! Joel Send a noteboard - 08/09/2010 06:58:43 AM
I am reminded again why I hate not having a clear, committed relationship.

Sharon and I still haven't managed a second date. One thing or another gets in the way. Excuses? Just real life? I just don't know.

She still contacts me (instead of just replying when I contact her) which I suppose is a good sign. She has mentioned things like going on vacation but, even though a lot of guys are going, 'just looking'. She has mentioned that the guy she thinks her brother is trying to set her up with is - 'Just a friend' when I specifically asked if this was a new beau or not.

We've gone on one date and spent a lot of time chatting. She doesn't owe me anything. And the above still seems positive.

On the other hand our actual conversations seem a bit more strained and less natural. Maybe that's just a matter of starting to run out of historical things to talk about, or being busy or what have you. I just don't know.

I hate this. Being alone is pretty much always a recipe for depression for me. Most times I can rub along but last night and to a certain extent today I'm just feeling beat down over the whole thing.

I'm just tired. Don't know how else to describe it. Tired and sad and I don't like sitting alone in a big empty house, like I was last night. I'm not even sure what it is I need in my life. I'm strongly suspecting (much to my surprise) that this isn't really about sex - although that stress plays a part. More companionship I think.

So tired about all this. Just tired.

I apologize for being whiney but I can't really to anyone else. I don't talk well to guys (I have issues opening up about things like this) and any lady friends I might have - well I don't want to come across as guilt tripping or anything like that. Which leaves me pretty much RAFO. So apologies for bothering you with this, I just don't have anywhere else to go right now in my life.

Not bothering me, and since UI'm the only person that matters here, you should be OK. ;) You still have a ways to go before you set a new standard for pouring your anguish out on the CMB (really. :<img class=' />) Um. I understand, at least as much as possible given the novelty of women. I certainly understand what it's like to NOT be in a relationship for much longer than preferred. As to suggestions... um.... }<img class=' />

It was always about the relationship rather than the sex for me, and twisted me in knots. Only really know one solution, but you know what I'd say and I know you know, and, anyway, it took fifteen years to accept that answer and nearly five more to LIVE it, so the argument seems a bit odd coming from me. Not that problem solving is the right motivation there, but remember: It's OK to WANT another human in your life, but if people actually NEED someone else in their life, it's not a human being (which means no spooning; believe me, that part I get. )

How to deal with/understand women... when you figure it out, please share it with the rest of us. :P I'm pullin' for ya, and prayin' for ya, and thanks for the update (these days I don't get to respond as promptly as I'd like, but I DO keep my eyes open whether or not my mouth follows suit. ) It will get better; COMPLETE solitude is clearly not our cup of tea, but your wounds are also still very fresh, and a little time and healing should help a lot.

Try not to overanalyze this particular girl too much, but maintain communications (which you probably already know to do) and just be as patient as you can. Talking about the stuff with people who care is healthy, as long as it doesn't become obsessive (which it doesn't seem to be. ) You get perspectives you otherwise wouldn't, sometimes just by the process of articulating and expressing what you're feeling instead of just feeling it. And remember that a lot of us DO care. You're a sharp guy with a good heart and instincts, IMHO, so while you may not get there as quickly as you like, I'm confident you'll get there in the end. If this is the girl for you, then nothing on Earth can stop it; if not, best to find out sooner rather than later so there's no one in the way when the right one comes along at last. ;)
Honorbound and honored to be Bonded to Mahtaliel Sedai
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Love still can't be coerced.
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LoL. Be well, RAFOlk.
'Cos You're the Kind of Guy Who'd Really Anguish with This
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It is not pleasant, no. - 08/09/2010 07:39:10 PM 412 Views

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