Active Users:1176 Time:22/11/2024 10:48:58 PM
Re: Is your status in society the same in Indian culture as it is in Pakistani culture? anjumfaz Send a noteboard - 11/08/2010 08:01:44 PM
She wants to take this holy month of Ramadan coming up to think and pray about us. It will either be we move on together or apart. Because once we come out there will be MEGA drama!

I can't claim to be very familiar with the Pakistani culture in the US, or for that matter Pakistani culture in Europe, but in Islamic and Southern Asian (i.e. India/Pakistan/Bangladesh) cultures, I can see how there'd be drama when a girl wants to marry an outsider. Must be sort of scary, not just the drama but the uncertainty if she dares to take that step... I hope it all works out well!


There is so much fear and uncertainty....I am in the same situation. In general, Indian/Pakistani culture includes children relying on their parents for so much more and for so much longer than in western culture. That reliance carries over past marriage as well. So if one of us makes the decision to marry an outsider, it is SO different from what culture is used to. It's scary for both the child and the parents. And that fear on the part of the parents is what is usually the basis for conflict.


The women in my girlfriend's culture are very judgemental


Yes, status is pretty much the same. My mom is from India and my dad is from Pakistan, but they come from the exact same types of families culture-wise, same attitudes and all. The main difference between Indian and Pakistani culture comes when you take into account religions. The majority of Pakistani's are Muslims, whereas the majority in India are Hindus or Sikhs, so sometimes particular cultural differences are actually religious differences.

About women being judgmental, I think that's a general cultural thing, lol. I have the same in my family. Some more so than others, but it's still there.

One thing that bothers me is the cultural over-concern about how others will view you or think of you. For my parents, one of their biggest concerns/arguments is "What will the other relatives think?" Like, who cares! They probably won't even think anything bad! They'll think worse if you cause drama about the situation and make it public! If you are accepting, they shouldn't have any reason to think badly!
Sorry for the mini rant, but it's very frustrating.
formerly known as Daughter OfThe Nine Moons
Reply to message
I need some advice on learning a language - 11/08/2010 05:27:52 PM 665 Views
For the amount of money that the Rosetta Stone software costs... - 11/08/2010 05:35:37 PM 557 Views
Haha not quite; Texas. Also why I was so surprised *NM* - 11/08/2010 05:44:28 PM 229 Views
where in Tx is your g/f from? - 12/08/2010 05:44:03 AM 487 Views
If thats true then I definitely can't tell you! *NM* - 12/08/2010 06:15:24 AM 231 Views
It shouldn't be too hard to find a book + CD you can learn from. Why is software so important? *NM* - 11/08/2010 05:38:48 PM 270 Views
Because my free time consists of 2 hours before bed *NM* - 11/08/2010 05:45:16 PM 222 Views
And? - 11/08/2010 06:17:22 PM 487 Views
Oh I thought you were asking why I don't go to a class *NM* - 11/08/2010 06:24:43 PM 212 Views
find a new girlfriend? - 11/08/2010 05:45:19 PM 522 Views
Yeah, it would be silly to waste your time on Devanagari when you need to learn the Arabic alphabet. - 11/08/2010 05:48:22 PM 577 Views
Very helpful! Thanks! - 11/08/2010 06:09:09 PM 538 Views
Hindi is pretty much the same as Urdu speaking wise.... - 11/08/2010 06:17:50 PM 595 Views
My girlfriend has family in Canada... - 11/08/2010 06:23:35 PM 514 Views
Seems like after two years, it might be time to let her family know about you... *NM* - 11/08/2010 06:43:55 PM 234 Views
We're about at that point - 11/08/2010 06:48:42 PM 458 Views
That makes sense, yes. - 11/08/2010 06:52:53 PM 512 Views
I know the fear, yes - 11/08/2010 07:41:16 PM 560 Views
Is your status in society the same in Indian culture as it is in Pakistani culture? - 11/08/2010 07:46:48 PM 566 Views
Re: Is your status in society the same in Indian culture as it is in Pakistani culture? - 11/08/2010 08:01:44 PM 587 Views
Rant all you want! - 11/08/2010 08:18:54 PM 434 Views
Oh my goodness.... - 11/08/2010 08:21:16 PM 666 Views
I have family in Texas, lol - 11/08/2010 06:50:25 PM 507 Views
A kindred spirit! - 11/08/2010 07:06:25 PM 576 Views
Re: A kindred spirit! - 11/08/2010 07:15:50 PM 499 Views
Wow I'm not alone! - 11/08/2010 07:27:02 PM 528 Views
You are right, - 11/08/2010 07:37:15 PM 560 Views
I hear you - 11/08/2010 07:43:07 PM 590 Views
Re: I hear you - 11/08/2010 08:09:27 PM 647 Views
I learn something new everyday. I did not know that. Fascinating - 11/08/2010 08:17:16 PM 507 Views
I think you're missing the important thing here. Why does she want you to learn it? *NM* - 11/08/2010 06:32:58 PM 218 Views
Because she speaks to her family/friends in her language and doesnt want me left out - 11/08/2010 06:38:00 PM 505 Views
Okay, but none of them speak English? *NM* - 11/08/2010 06:42:25 PM 228 Views
Yes but its really a cultural thing - 11/08/2010 06:46:01 PM 490 Views
It makes sense. - 12/08/2010 07:47:12 PM 656 Views
It does - 12/08/2010 07:55:31 PM 740 Views
No, I haven't read them all. - 12/08/2010 08:08:14 PM 409 Views
Why shouldn't she? *NM* - 11/08/2010 06:44:14 PM 228 Views
Re: Why shouldn't she? - 12/08/2010 07:54:47 PM 468 Views
why not? it's a part of her and languages are fun. - 12/08/2010 03:33:53 AM 493 Views
Re: languages are fun. That depends. - 12/08/2010 08:03:06 PM 515 Views
My advice - 11/08/2010 07:28:39 PM 767 Views
I want to learn Romanian - 11/08/2010 07:43:09 PM 451 Views
Re: I want to learn Romanian - 11/08/2010 08:36:46 PM 539 Views
I'm definitely going to check that out! *NM* - 11/08/2010 07:44:18 PM 245 Views
You too, huh? - 11/08/2010 08:07:44 PM 522 Views
Yeah, I love the Finnish language - 11/08/2010 08:47:09 PM 480 Views
Ohhh. That's a much better reason than mine. - 11/08/2010 08:49:34 PM 484 Views
Ok as an urdu speaking paki i can tell you a few things - 12/08/2010 05:41:52 AM 629 Views
Or... - 12/08/2010 11:00:42 AM 505 Views
Re: Or... - 12/08/2010 04:57:59 PM 517 Views
Good luck and God bless. - 12/08/2010 11:50:18 AM 459 Views
youre moving to Karachi? *NM* - 12/08/2010 04:59:25 PM 202 Views
Er, no. - 12/08/2010 05:16:51 PM 785 Views

Reply to Message