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This. *NM* Ghavrel Send a noteboard - 30/07/2010 09:11:17 AM
a woman or women who is not his spouse. But does that constitute mental cheating? I don't know that it does. If I read a story about a child molester and think to myself he should be put to death for his crime did I murder mentally? I think thinking is just that - thinking. It is not actually acting and so while all men might sooner or later think sexually about someone other than a mate I don't think it is a big deal; it just seems to be something we do. It seems to be a part of "maleness".

It might be said that true lusting in one's mind is somethign a little deeper and might be indicative of something akin to cheating mentally. By lusting I mean the constant repeat focused attention on sexually thinking about another person other than a man's spouse.

However all of that works out I want to say this about evolution. Evolution and (my field) psychology may tell us how we often appear to act but it does not tell us how we must act. Probably the most essential part of being human is our ability to change our mind and thus our course of action. While certain sexual practices such as cheating may have evolved in a psychological paradigm that increases our (males';) chances of passing on genes it is also safe to say that we are continuing to evolve and that falling back on the old "evolution made me do it" excuse is pretty lame.

So, men might have some kind of evolutionary urge to cheat but it doesn't mean we have to and it doesn't mean we should.
"We feel safe when we read what we recognise, what does not challenge our way of thinking.... a steady acceptance of pre-arranged patterns leads to the inability to question what we are told."
~Camilla

Ghavrel is Ghavrel is Ghavrel

*MySmiley*

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Do All Men Cheat? - 29/07/2010 09:03:09 PM 1453 Views
She's right about one thing: - 29/07/2010 09:37:38 PM 1037 Views
but it's not like that's limited to men. - 29/07/2010 10:20:21 PM 913 Views
I knew it! *NM* - 29/07/2010 10:33:20 PM 437 Views
That's true - 30/07/2010 12:27:02 AM 800 Views
For some men its not so long...that sounded dirty didn't it? - 30/07/2010 12:37:28 AM 954 Views
I think that's a lie designed to make men who do cheat in their minds feel better about it. - 30/07/2010 12:41:48 AM 1169 Views
Are you talking about gay and asexual men? - 30/07/2010 12:44:44 AM 892 Views
I think we're not understanding each other here. - 30/07/2010 12:47:09 AM 1082 Views
Sorry darlin you just don't know what it's like to be a man - 30/07/2010 01:21:48 AM 967 Views
apparently being a man includes condescending. - 30/07/2010 01:28:20 AM 816 Views
You don't think we talk? I'm not just puffing gas here - 30/07/2010 02:04:59 AM 975 Views
i'm just trying to say that totally discounting what she was saying was rude - 30/07/2010 02:16:03 AM 1075 Views
Point taken - 30/07/2010 02:21:21 AM 1018 Views
still, that being said... - 30/07/2010 02:31:11 AM 933 Views
Or not. - 30/07/2010 08:40:48 AM 959 Views
You don't think that a woman can have a completely honest conversation with a man? - 30/07/2010 08:49:21 AM 1046 Views
It's a stereotype based on pretty solid biological evidence, though. - 30/07/2010 09:10:30 AM 965 Views
No offense, but that post is rather useless as long as you don't define "sexual thoughts". - 30/07/2010 09:54:37 AM 1225 Views
True. - 31/07/2010 08:20:28 AM 920 Views
Regardless of what you and your friends do or say, it's not true of all men. - 30/07/2010 05:51:49 PM 990 Views
Quite. - 30/07/2010 08:40:18 AM 871 Views
- 30/07/2010 10:31:20 AM 839 Views
"mentally monogamous" is one of the stupidest expressions I've ever heard. i can't even comment. *NM* - 30/07/2010 04:56:15 PM 712 Views
XD [hi5!] *NM* - 31/07/2010 03:07:09 AM 425 Views
This. *NM* - 02/08/2010 04:42:59 PM 344 Views
I love my husband. - 29/07/2010 09:44:51 PM 1000 Views
Be thankful you can't read his mind. Ignorance is bliss *NM* - 29/07/2010 10:17:38 PM 444 Views
- 29/07/2010 10:33:08 PM 785 Views
You mean like one would appreciate fine art? Nothing sexual about that *NM* - 29/07/2010 10:35:35 PM 486 Views
Heh. - 29/07/2010 10:41:34 PM 868 Views
Would you honestly get upset at him for that? - 30/07/2010 08:39:50 PM 891 Views
Personally, I would say... - 30/07/2010 10:17:37 PM 868 Views
That's kind of where I was coming from. - 02/08/2010 03:33:37 PM 1096 Views
Hmm - 29/07/2010 10:45:48 PM 1042 Views
I totally know that i was just using it to start a conversation - 29/07/2010 10:49:05 PM 782 Views
Liar! - 29/07/2010 10:55:03 PM 806 Views
*dumps a gallon of fresh sardines on your head* - 29/07/2010 11:23:33 PM 883 Views
...now I want some cake *NM* - 29/07/2010 11:21:18 PM 351 Views
me too, I have chocolate cake in the kitchen - 30/07/2010 06:00:24 AM 896 Views
I don't know, sis. - 30/07/2010 03:52:21 AM 1009 Views
Biologically designed.... - 30/07/2010 03:54:00 AM 941 Views
Bastard... - 03/08/2010 09:52:41 AM 969 Views
It'd be too long Joel. - 03/08/2010 03:38:19 PM 877 Views
Fair enough. - 03/08/2010 03:50:55 PM 929 Views
I feel confident in saying that all men think mentally at somepoint in a sexual way toward... - 30/07/2010 07:06:57 AM 964 Views
This. *NM* - 30/07/2010 09:11:17 AM 519 Views
Utter nonsense. - 30/07/2010 01:57:42 PM 947 Views
Works out well for the men. - 30/07/2010 08:12:53 PM 862 Views
No. - 30/07/2010 04:58:06 PM 963 Views
one major porblem with this whole thing - 30/07/2010 08:33:18 PM 809 Views
That's the exact point, she'll get skewed results due to the self selected nature of her study group - 31/07/2010 08:02:54 AM 932 Views
Not sure it is that much different for the ladies - 01/08/2010 04:17:39 AM 875 Views
Oh, I wouldn't doubt that, either. - 06/08/2010 02:28:35 PM 1015 Views
~shrugs~ - 31/07/2010 03:40:17 AM 778 Views
<3 *NM* - 31/07/2010 10:21:38 AM 367 Views
If we're talking 'mentally' - 01/08/2010 03:31:48 AM 1075 Views

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