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Umm...Hi. I'm still alive and stuff Danu Send a noteboard - 20/07/2010 07:29:42 PM
As some of you know I've had a very difficult time the last number of years. My heart was broke asunder, the life I build ended...I wanted nothing more than for my life to end and to that end I made plans. A bottle of wine, some pills, a sleeping bag and a night in the forest. Oh yes I had it all planned. But for whatever reason I said something to someone here, or at Wotmania actually, and they said something...anyway I didn't follow through.
I never thought...
When I was a teenager I hoped and wished and prayed and all my hopes and wishes and prayers came true and I found something, someone special and then it all came crashing down the day David came out to me and then he died. David was a good man, a good person and I know he loved me to the best of his ability but...I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me but I couldn't, you know? I mean he was dieing and we both knew it so I had to keep everything inside. But it is still there. He's dead now so how can I hurt him? I want to hurt him. I want to lash out and hurt him as much as he hurt me. David was everything to me. My life, my love, my soul. It disturbs me that his coming out hurts worse than his dieing. I hate that. I hate that I still want to hurt him.
So much blah blah blah...

It is time for me to move on, time for a fresh start, time for me to forgive myself and David. I have lived in Vermont nigh on 11 years. My sister and youngest brother have been telling me for a couple of years now that I should move to Texas where I will be close to them and so I have decided to take them up on their offer/challenge. Who knows, maybe I will be able to find peace at last.

To my dear sweet friends here, forgive my silents please.
CrazedWeasel
OCWIATJ Forever!
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Umm...Hi. I'm still alive and stuff - 20/07/2010 07:29:42 PM 873 Views
When you leaving for Texas? - 20/07/2010 07:57:13 PM 462 Views
Not sure, middle of August? - 20/07/2010 08:10:51 PM 417 Views
You can come visit me. - 20/07/2010 08:06:40 PM 481 Views
I hope a fresh start helps you find the peace you seek. - 20/07/2010 08:17:19 PM 455 Views
I wish you the best in your fresh start! - 20/07/2010 09:02:26 PM 437 Views
Hey. - 20/07/2010 09:20:06 PM 439 Views
so what part of Texas are you coming to? - 20/07/2010 10:11:55 PM 465 Views
Belten and Killeen (not sure if those are the correct spellings) *NM* - 21/07/2010 03:16:22 PM 172 Views
good old Fort Hood - 21/07/2010 03:30:51 PM 557 Views
Re: good old Fort Hood - 21/07/2010 03:43:19 PM 477 Views
also NB me if you need any help learning to speak Texan - 20/07/2010 10:21:16 PM 396 Views
Ah ain't no Yankee, Ah come from good Okie stock - 21/07/2010 03:21:00 PM 415 Views
Loves and hugs! - 20/07/2010 11:57:20 PM 387 Views
*hugs* *NM* - 21/07/2010 03:21:32 PM 161 Views
Well, I am glad you are still here. - 21/07/2010 12:26:31 AM 403 Views
Re: Well, I am glad you are still here. - 21/07/2010 06:54:53 PM 426 Views
A new start is for the best Danu - 21/07/2010 12:46:22 AM 571 Views
good luck, blessed be. best wishes, if your driving, cruise through PA and have a stay-cation. - 21/07/2010 04:29:09 AM 468 Views
Where in PA are you? - 02/08/2010 11:57:46 PM 408 Views
I hope your new start goes well! - 21/07/2010 05:40:26 AM 466 Views
Best of luck to you, Danu! *NM* - 21/07/2010 12:48:47 PM 239 Views
Glad to hear it. *NM* - 21/07/2010 04:37:48 PM 181 Views
*NM* - 22/07/2010 03:15:08 AM 172 Views
Grow some gills before you get here - 23/07/2010 12:35:13 AM 502 Views
Ah Sweety, - 27/07/2010 02:03:10 AM 453 Views

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